Template:Did you know nominations/Mary Jane Patterson

Mary Jane Patterson

  • ... that Mary Jane Patterson, descendant of previously enslaved mother, was the first African American woman to gain a BA degree, having taken a 'gentleman's course'?
  • Sources: 1. Bishir, Catherine (2018). "Patterson, Henry J. (1805-1886) and John E. (1804-1880)" North Carolina Architects and Builders: A Bibliographical Dictionary and
2. Blakemore, Erin (2017-05-23)' How the Daughter of a Slave Became the First African American to Earn a Bachelor's Degree.' Time
    • ALT1: ... that Mary Jane Patterson was the first Black principal of a famous high school in Washington DC? Source: Stewart, A (2013) First Class: The legacy of Dunbar, America's first Black Public School. Chicago. Ill: Lawrence Hill Books p 32
    • Reviewed:
Improved to Good Article status by Balance person (talk). Number of QPQs required: 0. Nominator has less than 5 past nominations.

Balance person (talk) 11:52, 8 July 2024 (UTC).

  • Article was promoted to Good Article within the last couple of days, is easily long enough, well written and copiously referenced. In my opinion the original hook, about being the first to get a BA degree, is best - very interesting indeed. The fact is cited immediately after it, in the lead introduction, to a page hosted on the university website. If I was being picky I'd say the info about achieving a BA degree should be included in the main body of the article too, because the lead intro is normally a summary of the main article. But the GA reviewers didn't have an issue with this, so I'm happy to say good to go to the next stage. Sionk (talk) 17:59, 9 July 2024 (UTC)
    • Balance person "First person to do X" hooks are tricky, because we've found quite a few end up at WP:ERRORS with someone saying "well actually this person did it before". Is any other hook viable? ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 10:59, 4 August 2024 (UTC)
      • ALT0a: ... that Mary Jane Patterson, African American descendant of previously enslaved mother, gained a BA degree in 1862, having taken a 'gentleman's course'? proposed in this diff
I'm afraid I find ALT0a extremely clunky @Balance person:, and this would need to be rewritten. I also don't see how this passed WP:GA given that it fails MOS:PARA (I literally cannot read the first paragraph of Early life and education, and single-sentence paragraphs should be avoided).--Launchballer 12:47, 15 August 2024 (UTC)
The article has been passed for GA status. If others do not feel ALTOa is right, perhaps we could go with ALT1. Or someone, perhaps you, could suggest an alternative wording for the clunky one? I actually don't know if I am supposed to be the only editor who should write the hooks or if others can help too, User:Launchballer Balance person (talk) 13:15, 15 August 2024 (UTC)
ALT0a looks fine to me. I can understand Airshipjungleman's concerns about the factual accuracy, considering it seems to be a claim from the college ("claimed to be" would not go amiss in the first paragraph). The date is a good addition. Unless someone challenges the GA status I would assume the article is legible enough for DYK. Good to go at last. Sionk (talk) 13:53, 15 August 2024 (UTC)
Lauchballer is right in saying the prose quality of the first paragraph has been substantially degraded since the GA review, and is now difficult to parse. ALT0a is also just ... weird: the phrase "descendant of ... mother", the missing definite articles, etc. Would suggest instead ALT0b: that Mary Jane Patterson, whose mother was an African American slave, gained a BA degree in 1862 having taken a "gentleman's course"? The issues with the article's prose still need to be resolved before the hook can run. ~~ AirshipJungleman29 (talk) 15:51, 19 August 2024 (UTC)
I agree that ALT0b is better. I have substantially edited the first paragraph which had been altered to include new info and think it reads fine now. Open to more comments of course, as ever. Balance person (talk) 08:23, 20 August 2024 (UTC)