User talk:Btaylor1836/sandbox

draft comments

Hi @Btaylor1836: I'm providing online support for your class at Amherst and I have a few comments on your draft:

• Remember that when you add emphasis or bolding to something, you need to "close" it where you want the bolding to end, so the first line should be "'''''A Natural Born Gambler''''' is a 1916 silent film short", a stray apostrophe will cause the entire line to be italicized (or bolded in some cases). Just make sure both sides are balanced and you'll be fine.
• I would take a look at an article like The Bold Bank Robbery as a superlative example of the form. You can see that article has a relatively short introduction or "lead" section (which doesn't need citations as it is merely a summary of the article), a brief plot summary and diligent work on the production and release. I think if you reorganized your draft a bit you could easily write an article of similar quality. The easiest way to do this may be to break up the section you have first (the material after the stuff which has been copied from the current article) and integrate it with the "notes" section you have now. You may title the sections however you like, but it's common to have a section for plot, production, release and whatever impact the film had on the industry or people involved with it.
• It's not strictly necessary to cite a copy of the film in the references. You've already got a link to it in the external links and where you need to cite the film (you don't have to in the plot summary, it's implied that the material in the article is derived from the film) you can cite it as Williams, Bert (Director) (July 24, 1916). A Natural Born Gambler (Motion picture). United States: General Film. That's just the {{cite AV media}} template: {{cite AV media | people=Williams, Bert (Director) | date=July 24, 1916 | title=A Natural Born Gambler | medium=Motion picture | location=United States | publisher=General Film}}

I'll try and take another look at the draft later, but I'm looking forward to your improvements! Adam (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:43, 20 November 2014 (UTC)

==Draft Comments

• Hi, I edited the plot summary by fixing many of the grammatical and spelling errors. I would suggest going through that section and fixing a lot of the repetitiveness from repeating words in the same sentence. It will make it flow easier for the reader. I would suggest that for other sections as well. Nlb329 (talk) 01:30, 1 December 2014 (UTC)