Template:Did you know nominations/Jade Etherington

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by BlueMoonset (talk) 23:18, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

Jade Etherington

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... ~~that Jade Etherington (pictured) won ParalympicsGB's first ever medal on snow?~~

Reviewed: Invictus Games (sport)
Comment: Please review before the end of the Paralympics

Created by Matty.007 (talk), FruitMonkey (talk). Nominated by Matty.007 (talk) at 11:40, 8 March 2014 (UTC).

Well-referenced new article that is long enough. However, the hook here isn't well supported by the ref - is this the first ever medal, or the first ever medal *by a British women* as the reference describes? How about saying ALT1: ... that Jade Etherington (pictured) was the first British woman to win a Winter Paralympic medal on snow, winning a Silver medal in Alpine skiing at the 2014 Winter Paralympics – Women's downhill? Thanks. Mike Peel (talk) 22:07, 8 March 2014 (UTC)

Strikes me as a bit wordy. How about Alt 2: ... that Jade Etherington (pictured) won ParalympicsGB's first ever medal on snow for a female? Matty.007 12:07, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
- To me that sounds a bit brief - perhaps at least. Mike Peel (talk) 19:02, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
  - I have found that shorter hooks are usually better, adding an extra clause on the end sometimes has the effect that people stop reading. The reason I didn't link ParalympicsGB was that if I did, it is entirely possible it would be mistaken as the subject, and I think not linking it is OK. Thanks, Matty.007 19:27, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
    - OK. As I thought both of those were good practice here, I'm going to step back from this and let someone else with more knowledge than me review it - hope that's OK. Thanks. Mike Peel (talk) 19:59, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
      - OK, thanks for the review. Mat ty.007 21:03, 9 March 2014 (UTC)

Alt2 is OK. Is this better? Victuallers (talk) 08:49, 10 March 2014 (UTC)

(alt3) ... that Jade Etherington (pictured) is the first British woman to win a Paralympic medal on snow?
- Oh, may wait until after, when we could say that she won 50% (for example) of Britain's Winter Paralympics medals. Thanks, Matty.007 16:54, 12 March 2014 (UTC)
  - Am on a bit of a wikibreak at the minute, will propose an alt after expanding the article some more this weekend hopefully. Thanks, Matty.007 20:10, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
    - OK, article expanded. Alt 3a: ... that Jade Etherington (pictured) became the most successful female British Winter Paralympian of all time, and was a flagbearer for Great Britain at the 2014 Winter Paralympics? Mat ty.007 13:49, 22 March 2014 (UTC)

Alt 4: ... that Jade Etherington (pictured) and Caroline Powell became the most successful female British Winter Paralympians of all time?

The source makes it clear that it is Jade and her guide Caroline Powell who are both the most successful Victuallers (talk) 20:48, 23 March 2014 (UTC)

This still needs a new reviewer; please be sure to specify which hooks are approved and which are not. Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 15:32, 27 March 2014 (UTC)
This is how we end up with stalled hooks. The article is well reffed and date and length is OK. If someone will just tick the final hook then this can go for Women's History Month as its the two of them who did it. Victuallers (talk) 22:47, 27 March 2014 (UTC)

I've struck out all but ALT4, which is supported in this citation. ALT4 is the correctly worded one.— Maile (talk) 14:51, 29 March 2014 (UTC)

Switched it so Etherington is mentioned first in hook. Thanks, Mat ty.007 14:59, 29 March 2014 (UTC)