Talk:Pure Japanese

Tweaks

Lead

Hello@Murasakihitsuji: In order to help the article pass GA. Maybe:

1. LS: "while Asian Movie Pulse mentioned its "quite a lot of positive points."" I would remove that bit from the LS, AMP does not in my view have the level of authority of the Japan Times. It can stay in the Reception section only and I don't think that it is even necessary in the Lead. Done
2. Does "The Film" have to be included in the template box for the soundtrack? Just asking. Done

I might have another look later. Best-My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 11:11, 3 January 2024 (UTC)

Nice to meet you. Thank you very much for your advice.

Your first suggestion: I have immediately removed the relevant section from the lead section.

Your second suggestion: The Japanese title of the soundtrack is "映画 'Pure Japanese' Original Soundtrack." Since "映画" means "film" in English, "The Film" was added as it is. Do you think it could be removed? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 16:48, 3 January 2024 (UTC)

Nice to meet you too. Is the title of the soundtrack in Japanese both in Kanjis/Katakanas and Romajis? Or it is more like smth that could be translated as Pure Japanese: film original soundtrack? In which case (a quick look online makes me think it's translated like that in English), I would only leave Pure Japanese: Original Soundtrack. Yours, -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 17:48, 3 January 2024 (UTC)

Lead again:

1. "This is also Fujioka's first created and produced film." What does "created" mean here? Is it me or is the phrasing a little awkward? Not done (I still think the phrasing is awkward but maybe that's just me}}

I would add the Jp. title just after the English one, too. (You can use the Template:Nihongo). I know the JT article is quoted in the body of the article but I'd say you need a footnote for the quote (I, personally would stop the quote at "misunderstood" (as it was, unless I am mistaken) and cut the rest (because I don't think the ending of the sentence is totally clear), but that's just me). (done it myself, hope you don't mind)

Best, -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 18:23, 3 January 2024 (UTC)

"Or it is more like smth that could be translated as Pure Japanese: film original soundtrack?" Yes, that is correct. So I removed "The Film" as you advised. And "Pure Japanese" is the official Japanese title in English, not in Katakana and Romaji.

Your next suggestion: "created" means that Fujioka planned this film. The names of the staff appear in the end roll of the film, and there they are listed as "Created and Produced by Dean Fujioka," so I respected that intent. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 04:46, 4 January 2024 (UTC)

Plot

Hello, what does "of secretly engaging in unscientific training at a shrine" mean? Can someone clarify?@Murasakihitsuji:-My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 19:00, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

Hello. Thank you very much for your question. The part you pointed out was translated based on the plot on the official website and other information.

"secretly": This word is a translation of the Japanese word "Hito-shirezu" which means "without anyone knowing about it."

"unscientific training": This story takes place in present-day Japan. Because of his past, Tateishi is obsessed with the fact that he is Japanese, and values the spirituality that the Japanese had in the past. Although it is not explicitly mentioned in the story, unscientific training, which was common in old Japan, in a place called a shrine, which has existed in Japan for a long time, is a very important act for Tateishi, as it trains not only his body but also his spirit. Hence, it is the scene that represents the character of Tateishi. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 15:31, 18 January 2024 (UTC)

Hello and thank you,

Maybe other readers will understand what this "unscientific training" refers to. I confess that I still don't. Do you mean something like spiritual training, self-discipline, ascetic practices...? It's at a shinto shrine, correct? -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 22:55, 21 January 2024 (UTC)

Yes, you are right about the meaning of "unscientific training." And about "shrine," I immediately changed it to "shinto shrine." Murasakihitsuji (talk) 10:06, 22 January 2024 (UTC) Done

I saw that. Thanks. -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 12:08, 22 January 2024 (UTC)

Cast

Suzuki (played by Shimada) is described as mayor of Nikko Edomura: does Nikko Edomura have a "mayor"? Is it not only a theme park, but also a municipality?-My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 07:59, 22 January 2024 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your points. First, let me explain the premise of this film. The location of this film is Nikko Edomura (日光江戸村), but the story takes place in a fictional theme park, Nikko Oedomura (日光"大"江戸村). It is not Edo-mura, but rather Oedo-mura, with the Kanji "大" in it. (So, could you please keep Oedomura and not change it?) So, I do not know if Nikko Edomura, a real theme park, has a village chief (The Japanese word "村:mura" means "village" in English.), but Nikko Oedomura, a fictional theme park, is set up to have a village chief.

But I translated "mayor" as "head of the village," but Suzuki's role is essentially "chief executive officer of the theme park. So, how do you think I should translate it? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 14:29, 22 January 2024 (UTC)

Sorry about all the removed Oedos then. I will correct it (and remove the link). What about "executive director of the park"?-My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 15:21, 22 January 2024 (UTC)?

Thank you for adding the Nikko Edomura park theme's image. By the way, do you think "park theme" or "theme park" is a better description? I'm using the latter. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 08:36, 25 January 2024 (UTC)

Had missed this. Theme park, I think, is correct. Had I written "park theme"? Silly me. -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 12:40, 17 February 2024 (UTC)

Resolved

Note

My personal view as of today is that there's some copy edit to be done before it might pass GA (and even B-Class, to be honest). But I haven't seen the film, nor am I really familiar with Fujioka's work, and I don't feel confortable editing substantially pages about films I haven't seen. You might want to leave a Template:Copy edit for a while and when things are edited, then nominate for GA (this, I think, would indeed imply withdrawing (or suspending temporarily) the GA nomination until cleanup is done, because I can't see a GA nomination with a Template: Copy edit on it). That's just me but I think that would be playing on the safe side. Or ask at the Project Japan TP, if anyone is interested. Or Project film TP? Again, that's just my opinion and maybe a GA reviewer will list what's to be improved and you and other users addressing the issues raised, all may go smoothly. Up to you. Best,-My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 12:34, 22 January 2024 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your opinion. I don't know why it was erased from the talk page records, but a person added a "B"-Class assessment to the talk page banner on May 14, 2023. I then made improvements based on that person's advice, and on October 7, that person recommended that I nominate the article for a GA. I think the article is a "B"-Class article now, is there that much to improve on this article? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 09:16, 23 January 2024 (UTC)

I would say there is, yes. As for B assessment, not sure: User:Kingsif checked some points that were B-class and other that were not according to them and I rather agree with their assessment. Grammar/style/referencing were not checked as B, but C-class at most. Not sure who assessed the page as a whole as B and invited you to nominate for GA. Not on this page, I think. As I said, feel free to wait if you think it's easier to receive a proper review. But expect some work to be done anyway. Best, -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 18:20, 23 January 2024 (UTC)

It was User:Kingsif who recommended me to nominate the article for a GA. But I will take your advice and make further improvements.

However, I looked at the Wikipedia:Good article nominations list and it seems that reviewers aren't showing up very often. I have a feeling that my turn will come around April this year. I don't want to withdraw my nomination as much as possible, considering that the review of the nominated film article now will probably be next year. Do you think it would be bad manners to make improvements with a nomination? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 14:58, 24 January 2024 (UTC)

No, it is certainly not bad manners to improve details while waiting for a GA review, quite the opposite, I'd say. I just thought a certain amount of copy edit could be done before but no worries. Sorry if I worried you unduly. -My, oh my! (Mushy Yank) 20:50, 24 January 2024 (UTC)

I was relieved to hear that.

I had already done the grammar check using the tool, but there is a limit to what phrases are appropriate to put on Wikipedia using only the tool. You have refined the article and I am very grateful to you. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 08:49, 25 January 2024 (UTC)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pure Japanese/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Murasakihitsuji (talk · contribs) 05:19, 9 October 2023 (UTC)

Reviewer: Tbhotch (talk · contribs) 19:22, 17 June 2024 (UTC)

Hello, thank you very much for reviewing this article. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 03:01, 18 June 2024 (UTC)

You're welcome. As soon as I complete Emmylou Harris's review, I'll continue with this one. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 04:15, 21 June 2024 (UTC)

Upcoming review.

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality (prose is clear and concise, without exceeding quotations, or spelling and grammar errors):

   Some phrases can be reworked

   B. MoS compliance (including, but not limited to: lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists):

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources (including an appropriate reference section):

   B. Citation of available and reliable sources where necessary (including direct quotations):

   C. No original research:

   D. No copyright violations:

   Too many quotations

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

   The article adheres to the NPOV policy

5. Is it stable?

   edit wars, multiple edits not related to the GAN process, etc. (this excludes blatant vandalism):

6. Does it contain images (or other media) to illustrate (or support) the topic?

   A. Images (and other media) are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   Once copyrighted file correctly tagged. One free picture that doesn't seem to be a copyvio

   B. Images (and other media) are provided where possible and are relevant, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Infobox

• The poster and the theme park picture may include alt text

Lead

• "an eccentric man with limited social skills and a devotion to Japanese culture, who handles sound effects for ninja shows, despite his exceptional physical abilities" → both commas are unrequired
• "he rescues a high school girl named Ayumi (Aju Makita)," → (Makita)
• "her grandfather Ryuzo (Tetsu Watanabe)" → Watanabe
• "The film garnered mixed reviews. The Japan Times remarked that it was "likely to be misunderstood"." sentence can be merged with the previous one.

I'll continue in the next hours. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 19:43, 22 June 2024 (UTC)

I have corrected the Infobox and the Lead. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 10:12, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

Could you check the alt text on the poster? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 14:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

Y

Development

• There are too many quotations.

• "a living person ..." can be paraphrased
• "What do I need to do to move forward?" can be paraphrased
• "a case study" can be paraphrased

• "In an interview with Rooftop, Matsunaga explained the following regarding this aspect:" → "Matsunaga explained it further in an interview with Rooftop:"
• "he gives his life away like a sacrificial offering had been the one Fujioka" → "was the one Fujioka"
• "Matsunaga spent a lot of time discussing with Fujioka about his ideas" → "Matsunaga spent a lot of time discussing his ideas with Fujioka"
• "In doing so, the idea of interweaving various cultures, such as using the words of Ludwig Wittgenstein, Yukio Mishima and Yoshida Shoin, was increasingly generated." → "Thus, the notion of fusing several cultures—for example, by quoting Yoshida Shoin, Yukio Mishima, and Ludwig Wittgenstein—became more and more prevalent."

Casting

• Dean Fujioka and Aju Makita → Fujioka
• "Regarding his own inclusion in the cast as well, Fujioka said in an interview with Oricon:" → "In an interview with Oricon, Fujioka spoke about his own casting:"
• "It is the sense that" → "It is in the sense that"
• "I am glad that the 'actress' Aju Makita" → Did he really refer to her as "an actress"? Written like that can be read as sarcastic
• "and others, joined the cast." → "and others, had joined the cast."
• "I believe Sakaguchi-san's appearance" can be paraphrased

Filming

• "That theme park is a place where the lost or no longer existing past life and culture of Japan are artificially purified and displayed; for instance, a museum exhibits stuffed extinct animals"

• That theme park → It
• is a place where the lost or no longer existing past life and culture of Japan are artificially purified and displayed → This reads like an advert so at least it should be attributed to whoever said it or it needs to be reworded
• "Fujioka was practicing the action scenes about three months before filming began because they differed significantly from the ninja shows in style" → "About three months before the start of filming, Fujioka started rehearsing the action scenes because they differed significantly from the ninja shows in style."
• "He created the basic flow of them" → "He created their basic flow"
• "The climactic action scenes were initially developed by Fujioka and action choreographer Eiji Morisaki." → You can change it to active voice

Release

• "Following its theatrical release in Japan on January 28, 2022, distributed by Amuse Inc.,[3] the film was screened in the Nippon Visions section of the 22nd Nippon Connection Japanese Film Festival in Germany from May 24 to 29, 2022" → "After being distributed by Amuse Inc. and having its theatrical debut in Japan on January 28, 2022, the film was screened from May 24 to 29, 2022, in Germany as part of the Nippon Visions section of the 22nd Nippon Connection Japanese Film Festival."

Music

• "containing all 16 tracks" → You can include the tracklisting
• "Soundtrack" is not a genre (infobox)

Reception

• Too many quotations
• "of the film as "a film" → film is repetitive. "He praised its "unexpected philosophical trimmings" as...", for example
• "a film with some big ideas" can be paraphrased and you eliminate an unnecessary quote
• ""Rather than go in for the kill, it ends on a frustratingly ambivalent note."" can be paraphrased, for example, "he found frustration with the ending as he considered it "ambivalent"
• "work(ed) incredibly" → "work[ed] incredibly"
• "and praised the presence of "series" → and praised the presence of a "series"
• "the general overfamiliarity" quote can be paraphrased
• "low-budget qualities" quote can be paraphrased

References

• Why do you need sources in the cast section? MOS:PLOT applies
• Source 8 (Asian Movie Pulse) → " "If the Japanese language OS treats individual lives merely as vehicles, delivering Language OS DNAs to the future, where will this demigod-like language OS take the nihongo-bito?"" is not mentioned in the source
• No other issues with the sources

@Murasakihitsuji: I'll pause at the moment and I'll complete the review tomorrow. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 04:09, 23 June 2024 (UTC)

• @Murasakihitsuji: Placed on hold. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 00:58, 24 June 2024 (UTC)

•  Partly done @Murasakihitsuji: the only thing I couldn't verify was still "If the Japanese language OS treats individual lives merely as vehicles, delivering Language OS DNAs to the future, where will this demigod-like language OS take the nihongo-bito?" (CC) Tbhotch^™ 05:53, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

  I'm sorry. I have not yet worked on your instructions in the Reception and Reference sections. Please give me a little more time. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 08:47, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

  I have now corrected all of your instructions. Murasakihitsuji (talk) 16:59, 25 June 2024 (UTC)

  @Tbhotch: I have revised the article according to your instructions. Could you check it, please? Murasakihitsuji (talk) 16:43, 26 June 2024 (UTC)

  Approved. (CC) Tbhotch^™ 01:36, 27 June 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

(

• Comment or view
• Article history

)

• ... that Pure Japanese is titled so in its native Japan?

• Source: The movie's trailer and poster

• ALT0a: ... that Pure Japanese is released under this English title in its native Japan?
• Reviewed: Template:Did you know nominations/List of roles and awards of Liza Soberano
• Comment: Yes, the hook is stating the obvious, but just notice the irony in the title. I've provided a modified version of hook in case it's a little unclear; I just think ALT0 is more concise. Please hold for July 17, on the movie's second anniversary outside Japan

Improved to Good Article status by Murasakihitsuji (talk). Nominated by Nineteen Ninety-Four guy (talk). Number of QPQs required: 1. Nominator has 6 past nominations.

Nineteen Ninety-Four guy (talk) 08:21, 27 June 2024 (UTC).