Talk:Edwin P. Morrow

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Edwin P. Morrow/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:25, 30 October 2009 (UTC)

Some comments:

• The lead should try to present information in the order of importance. The second and third sentence do not talk about the person in question at all, but rather his relatives. There is no problem with including this in the article, I am in doubt whether it is important enough for the lead (but I will let it go), but it is far from important enough to be so far up.
• There is no mention of that he is from the United States in the early bit of the lead. This is not obvious for non-Americans. (fixed)
• The Spanish–American War uses an endash (–), not a hyphen (-), because the war was between the two countries. See WP:DASH.
• Similarly, use endashes for votes, not emdashes. (fixed)

Could you look into the second and third sentences, and perhaps say a little more generally about him first before starting the chronology of his life. Once that is done, I'll pass the article. Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:25, 30 October 2009 (UTC)

I've done a little tweaking. I'm trying to keep from being too redundant in the lead. Let me know if further improvements are needed. Acdixon ^{(talk • contribs • count)} 16:26, 2 November 2009 (UTC)

All good. Congratulations with a good article. Arsenikk ^(talk) 18:29, 2 November 2009 (UTC)

Edit?

Why can't I edit this article? It is locked down. Kindzmarauli (talk) 06:31, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

Because it's been semi-protected, meaning only established users can edit it. This is because it was becoming a target for vandalism by new users (see the page history). If you're a new user yourself, you won't be able to edit it at the moment. However, it's only been protected for one day (as long as it's displayed on the main page), so you'll be able to edit it soon enough. Robofish (talk) 11:38, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

In the meantime, what did you want to change?   — Jeff G. ツ 16:21, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

First paragraph under Early life is really choppy and reads funny. I wanted to merge the first two sentences so it reads like this:

Edwin Morrow was born to Thomas Zanzinger and Catherine Virginia (Bradley) Morrow[2]in Somerset, Kentucky, on November 28, 1877.[1]

Is that ok? Kindzmarauli (talk) 17:15, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

Sure, sounds better than what it is now. Implementing! Airplaneman ✈ 18:54, 7 June 2010 (UTC)

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