Talk:Cyclone Rewa

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyclone Rewa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 01:46, 18 November 2011 (UTC)

• Usually the areas affected by the storm mentioned in the infobox are wikilinked.
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "south-south-west," - south-south-west? You mean "south-southwest"?
  • I think south-south-west is the way the Aussies do it which is what we have to respect but i will check this with an aussie editor.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "the Solomon Islands, Papua New Guinea, Australia, New Caledonia, Vanuatu, New Zealand." - Insert "and" before New Zealand
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 16:50, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "while it affected parts off the Solomon Islands, Papua New Guinea, Australia, New Caledonia, Vanuatu, New Zealand." - Again, insert "and" before New Zealand.
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 16:50, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "After this usage of the name Rewa, it was retired and replaced with the name Rene." - Unsourced
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 16:50, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Renell island during 29 December" - Shouldn't it be "Renell Island"
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 17:44, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Grand Terre island during 5 January." - Same issue
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 17:44, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "to Efate island between 8-9 January" - See the previous two issues
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 17:44, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "active with 8 of these deaths" and "9 other people went missing" - Numbers less than 10 are usually spelled-out, unless they are referring to a measurement (i.e. windspeeds, inches of rain, feet, ect.)
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 17:44, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "Mackay it was located to far away from" - "to" --> "too"
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 17:44, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "to avoid being cut of by flood waters." - "of" --> "off"
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "However it did not make its predicted landfall near Mackay, instead recurving to the south-south east and coming within 100 km (60 mi) of the coast." - I recommend re-wording that to "However it did not make its predicted landfall near Mackay, and instead recurved to the south-southeast and came within 100 km (60 mi) of the coast."
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• "6 hours which lead to some flash flooding in parts of the city and 4 deaths.[23] 3 of the deaths" - These numbers should be spelled out
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• Reference #6 is a dead link
  • Should be sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 04:14, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• On reference #10, the publisher should be the Reading Eagle, while the author should be the Australian Associated Press.
  • Sorted.Jason Rees (talk) 16:50, 19 November 2011 (UTC)
• Maybe more later,--12george1 (talk) 01:46, 18 November 2011 (UTC)

Comment: Date ranges (e.g. 8-9 January) should be demarcated using en dashes, not hyphens (8–9 January). HurricaneFan25 01:56, 18 November 2011 (UTC)

Ugh this is one of the things i always struggle with as i do not see what the difference is. I have used the dashes tool to correct them though.Jason Rees (talk) 03:45, 19 November 2011 (UTC)

• I have nothing else I would like to add to this GAN. I also see that you have addressed/fixed all of the issues I have with upgrading this article to GA. Therefore, I am passing this article.--12george1 (talk) 01:48, 23 November 2011 (UTC)

My review

• "south of Nauru Island" - given Nauru is a country, the "Island" is redundant
  • Sorted
• "crossing the 160th meridian east, exiting the South Pacific basin and entering the Australian region." - the "exiting" portion is a little wonky. Why not something simpler like "crossing the 160th meridian from the South Pacific basin into the Australian region"?
  • Sorted
• "Rewa reached its initial peak intensity as a Category 4 tropical cyclone" - you should clarify on what scale
  • Since it peaked initially as a 4 on both scales i dont see the need, especially as the scales havent been introduced in the lead.
• " It recurved toward the southwest while gradually weakened for several days. " - grammar
• What is a "banana dinghy"?
  • One would presume that its a small boat thats shaped as a banana - ive linked dinghy though.
• "three people were killed in traffic accidents" - you should clarify by adding "caused by the storm" at the end
  • Sorted
• "south-south-west" --> "south-southwest" (you do that in the lede). All directions should be consistent in the article.
  • Sorted
• "Over the next couple of days the disturbance moved towards the south-south-west and gradually developed further before early on 28 December the Fiji Meteorological Service's Tropical Cyclone Warning Center in Nadi, Fiji (TCWC Nadi), started to monitor the disturbance as a tropical depression" - that sentence is rather long. Please add a comma and/or split somewhere.
• "During 29 December, the system slowly deepened further, while continuing to move towards the south-south-west and passed through the Solomon Islands before starting to affect the south-eastern islands of Papua New Guinea." - the first comma isn't needed, but something is missing around "and passed through the Solomon Islands". It's a long sentence, overall.
• You should mention the AUS cyclone scale the first time you mention "Category 1" in the MH.
  • Sorted
• You should clarify the storm path is based on JTWC data.
  • Im not sure how to.
• "Rewa slowly intensified further before it started to rapidly deepen further early on 2 January - avoid two "further"s
  • Sorted
• " reported that Rewa had weakened into a Depression" - seems odd to see "Depression" capitalized. Shouldn't it be "Tropical Depression"? Or why not "tropical depression"?
  • it should be depression since its a TD with extratropical characteristics.
• " During the next day, Rewa continued moving towards the north-east" - too many times, you say that the storm continued its motion. Try reducing that a few times. I know its path was a bit confusing, but you don't have to mention every continuation of movement. Ditto its strength - you don't have to say the intensities from both warning centers every time, not unless something major was changing. I think you could cut it down to four paragraphs if you did that.
  • Sorted
• Link Tagula Island the first time, not the second
  • Sorted
• "During that day, Rewa started to rapidly intensify as an upper level trough approached the system, the JTWC then reported on 16 January at 1200 UTC, that the system had peaked with 1-minute sustained windspeeds of 230 km/h (145 mph)." - remove the comma after UTC, and I think that whole thing should be two sentences.
  • Sorted
• "into an extratropical depression.[1][5] As an extratropical depression" - avoid redundancy please
  • Sorted
• In general, what caused the major movements for Rewa? High pressure systems? Troughs?
  • I have discovered some more info on the major movements which is being added.
    • All sorted.
• The first paragraph of impact is identical to the one in the lede. Maybe just remove it?
  • Ive changed it slightly to make it less identical
• "Cyclone Rewa affected the Solomon Islands between 28 and 30 December and was the first archipelago to be affected by Rewa" - try avoiding redundancy of the name
  • Sorted
• "Rewa dumped over 300 mm (12 in) of rain on parts of the archipelago which made all of the major rivers overflow and burst their banks leaving several roads closed" - comma needed somewhere
  • Sorted
• "Several landslides and one death were recorded in New Caledonia while on the loyalty island of Mare, waves from Rewa partially destroyed the dike at Tadines port" - poor sentence structure. First, should "Loyalty Island" be capitalized? Second, the bit about dike is weirdly detailed compared to the overall nature of the first part of the sentence.
  • I have reworked the sentence after re looking at the source.
• "Cyclone Rewa affected Papua New Guinea, on two separate occasions while it was active" - why the comma?
  • Removed
• "On 29 December, the automatic weather station at Jingo on Rossel island, recorded a minimum pressure of 999.8 hPa (29.52 inHg) at 0600 UTC, before six hours later it recorded a maximum sustained wind of 55 km/h (35 mph)" - comma isn't needed after island, and please rewrite the last clause. Maybe move "six hours later" to the end of the sentence?
  • Sorted
• "During the opening days of 1994" - rather colloquial
  • Oh well.
• "Rewa moved southwards parallel to the Queensland coast, however because it was located about 600 km (370 mi) to the north-west of Mackay, it was too far away from the coast for there to be any direct impact on Queensland" - semicolon or split needed before however
• "On 18 January local disaster committees met to consider evacuating people while people who were on vacation in national parks, were alerted about Rewa by a helicopter" - I'm confused what happened with the copters. Please fix.
• " and came to within 100 km (60 mi) of the coast" - remove "to"
• Link "Yeppoon"
• "Two men off Yeppoon coast were rescued from a fishing trawler by an army black hawk helicopter after high seas damaged the trawlers propeller and snapped its heavy anchor chain leaving the boat drifting helplessly in the cyclone's path" - split, do something. Also, "trawlers" should be "trawler's", right?
• "The worst affected island was Lady Elliot" - that's an island?!
  • Sorted
• "which lead" --> "which led"
  • Sorted

--♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:30, 13 August 2012 (UTC)

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