Talk:Al-Muhallab ibn Abi Sufra

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Cplakidas in topic GA Review

For edit history

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Forgot to mention in the edit summary, the previous version of this article has been replaced by User:Al Ameer son/Muhallab. —Al Ameer (talk) 14:37, 8 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Al-Muhallab ibn Abi Sufra/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 18:33, 19 May 2019 (UTC)Reply

Will start this soon. Constantine 18:33, 19 May 2019 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  • "between the mid-640s and his death and served successive terms" recommend splitting after "death"
  • "against the Persians" link to the Sasanian Empire
  • "in Iraq and Khurasan in 683–684" add "during the Second Muslim Civil War" for context and for introducing the term
  • "switched allegiance to Caliph" -> "switched allegiance to the Umayyad caliph"
  • "Al-Hajjaj made al-Muhallab governor of Khurasan in 698 and from there, he recommenced the Arab conquests in Transoxiana, leading a two-year-long siege of the Kish fortress" recommend splitting after "698", and "fortress of Kish" is better
  • "in circa 632." you might want to consider using the {{circa}} template.
  • "from the "Azd Sarat", which was based in western Arabia" either "from the "Azd Sarat" tribe, which...", or "from the "Azd Sarat", who...
  • "Khurasan and Iraq ultimately came under the suzerainty of the anti-Umayyad, Mecca-based caliph, Abd Allah ibn al-Zubayr (r. 683–692)," first, use the {{reign}} template; second and optional, perhaps it might be useful to note the dependence of Khurasan from Iraq, like "Iraq, and Khurasan with it, came under...".
  • "at the Battle of Maskin.[20][8]" put the references in numerical order
  1. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
    High-quality sources have been used throughout. No close paraphrasing detected based on the EI article and a spotcheck of the other sources.
  • Add locations to Shaban (1970), Wellhausen (1927), and Wink (2002). Wellhausen also needs an OCLC.
  1. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
    From my knowledge of the subject, and with the EI article as a guide, it looks complete, and follows WP:SS. I don't see any major reference work or study on the period missing, apart perhaps from Kennedy's Great Arab Conquests, which has a few comments on Muhallab, especially his siege of Kish and his (and Yazid's) status among the Azd. I recommend adding him (I can send you the relevant passages).
  2. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  3. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  4. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  5. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

@Al Ameer son: I've made a first pass, looks really good. I've highlighted any issues I found, and made a few suggestions, above. Cheers, Constantine 07:34, 26 May 2019 (UTC)Reply

@Cplakidas: Thanks for reviewing the article. I’ve addressed all of the aforementioned issues and have taken your helpful suggestions. I don't have full access to the Kennedy book that you've recommended, so please send those relevant passages. Cheers, —Al Ameer (talk) 02:12, 27 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Cplakidas: I've added the relevant material from Kennedy. Thanks again ;) Please revise any recent changes/additions as you see fit. --Al Ameer (talk) 18:16, 27 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
@Al Ameer son: Looks good, made some tweaks. Happy to pass this, well done :). Constantine 19:19, 27 May 2019 (UTC)Reply