Wikipedia:Peer review/Bank Street (stadium)/archive1

Bank Street (stadium)

• A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for September 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I believe that the content of the article is as detailed as it is going to get. I have done as much with the few references available as I can, and although I'm sure there are several improvements to be made, I'd like to see about getting this article to GA status. Thanks, – PeeJay 17:24, 24 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments from ChrisTheDude (talk · contribs)

• Is there sufficient info to fill out a stadium infobox?
  • There is enough to fill in the required fields and a couple of optional ones. I have now added an infobox to the article.
• Are there any images available, either of the stadium as it was or of what now stands in its place?
  • I have added a picture of the Manchester Velodrome to the article, albeit not as the main image as that might be confusing.
• wikilink 1893-94 season
  • Done.
• "despite the new stadium, Newton Heath were unable to retain their First Division status at the end of the season" - this is a bit of a non-sequitur, the stadium did not affect the quality of the team's performances or their final league position
  • Reworded.
• "the stuff of legend" - bit informal
  • Reworded.
• wikilink 1894-95 season
  • Done.
• "they were finally persuaded to take to the field, although they needn't have bothered" - reads far too informally, like something you'd see in a fanzine rather than an encyclopedia
  • Removed the offending phrase.
• what's with the broken template in the middle of the sentence starting "one report"?
  • Fixed. Strange how I never noticed it the first time round.

Hope this helps! -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 09:13, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

Cheers for the comments mate. Very helpful. – PeeJay 10:26, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

One more point - should "Bradford and Clayton athletic ground" have captials on the last two words.........? -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 10:57, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

The source I have refers to the ground, via a transcript of a Manchester Evening News article, as "the well known Bradford and Clayton athletic ground, Bank Lane, Clayton". – PeeJay 11:00, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

Fair enough :-) -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 12:42, 25 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments from Oldelpaso (talk · contribs)

• Burnley aren't/weren't local rivals
  • My mistake. Corrected.
• For consistency, Broughton R.F.C. should probably be used.
  • Done. Out of interest, do you know if Broughton RFC and Broughton Rangers are the same team?
    • Don't know, egg chasing isn't something I know much about I'm afraid. There's a union team, Broughton Park who are another possibility. Oldelpaso (talk) 12:31, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
      • I'll leave the team unlinked then. – PeeJay 12:37, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
• "restricted by the running track that encompassed the pitch, which could not be removed by the request of the Bradford and Clayton Athletic Company." - could give the impression that the Athletic Company requested its removal.
  • Fixed word order.
• "were saved at the last minute by a wealthy local brewer" - presumably not literally the last minute.
  • How does "saved at the eleventh hour" sound?
• For an image, you could try looking for an old OS map showing the location of the ground.
  • I have found an appropriate OS map, but Bank Street is not marked very well. How would you suggest I annotate it?
• There's quite a bit more material about the ground in Manchester: A Football History. I'll put some of it in at some point. Oldelpaso (talk) 09:22, 28 September 2008 (UTC)
  • Thanks, that would be much appreciated. – PeeJay 12:20, 28 September 2008 (UTC)