Talk:York/GA1

GA Review

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Notes:

Toponymy

• "The most widely accepted theory is therefore..." sounds very weaselly, even if it is the most widely accepted theory Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
• "The name 'Eboracum' became 'Eoforwic' to the Anglian rulers of the 7th century." I'm not sure what that means - "became to the rulers..."? Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
• Two final sentences are unreferenced.

Post conquest:

• "William the Conqueror at once built two fortresses on mottes in the city, either side of the river - still visible." This sentence needs work. Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Modern history:

• I'm not sure an external link in the middle of a sentence is appropriate. I'm not sure the name of the section is suitable either - it won't always be modern. Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Local government:

• First three parts are unreferenced, as is the last paragraph. I'm not sure the first paragraph should stand on its own. Done
• "The Liberal Democrats have 20 councillors and in May 2007 they formed a minority administration, and an executive of 9 councillors and the Labour Party formed the Opposition with 18 councillors." Sentence is far too long, and all those ands do not help it flow well. Done
• National government/law courts/twin cities all unreferenced.

Location:

• "York lies within the Vale of York, a flat area of fertile arable land bordered by the Pennines, the North York Moors and the Yorkshire Wolds, at the confluence of the Rivers Ouse and Foss on a terminal moraine left by the last Ice Age" is one long sentence, please split it up or reword it so it flows better. Done

City districts and surrounding villages:

• Too listy - needs more prose there. Doing... --Harkey (talk) 17:58, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

 Done --Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Climate:

• "In summer the average maximum temperature is 22 °C (72 °F) although some days can see highs of up to 28 °C (82 °F) but nights are significantly colder averaging minimum of 15 °C (60 °F), although these can consistently dip below 10 °C (50 °F) on colder summer nights." Two althoughs in one sentence, please reword or split. Done

Demography:

• Needs huge expansion... Done

Economy:

• Again, I'm not sure it is appropriate to have external links like that in the middle of prose. Done

Education:

• Mostly unsourced, with two citation needed tags. Done
• "The University of York also boasts..." sounds like something out of a travel guide... Done
• "specialising in more vocational subjects such as Horticulture, Agriculture, Animal Management and even Golf Course Management." Why are the subjects capitalised? Done
• "In January 2009 the school hopes to move back to the Oaklands site on Cornlands Road." Did they? Didn't they? Please update. Done

Road transport:

• Spelling of "mediaevel" ought to be consistent throughout. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
• No reference for first paragraph.

Air transport:

• "Elvington's long runway means that it would be suitable for such use - indeed, the site is used as an alternate landing site for the Space Shuttle." Needs restructuring and a source. CUT Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Local public transport:

• Second part is very listy. Done

Sites of interest:

• Only two references. Done More added.--Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Theatre:

• "York has a number of theatres, the Theatre Royal, the Grand Opera House and Joseph Rowntree Theatre." Is that all of them, or just some? The sentence isn't complete. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
• Section is unsourced. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Music/Media/Sports:

• No references, and media has a tag. Doing...--Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

 Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Noted York people:

• Should be put into prose, rather than a list. CUT Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

This is good so far, and is well-deserving of its B-class tag, but I'm sorry to say I don't think this is near enough GA quality.

• 1a - clear prose. I think it does this for the most part, but I have highlighted a few problems I spotted, and there are probably more I missed.
• 1b - again, mostly, but there are some listy sections, and odd paragraph cuts.
• 2a and b - there are numerous sections that lack any kind of sources, and there are a few citation needed tags. I don't believe it passes this.
• 2c - again, I don't know, because numerous parts are unsourced.
• 3a - possibly. I saw no mention at all of Treasurer's House, which I visited the other week, which was disappointing.
• 3b - I think this is ok.
• 4 - some parts sound as though they are from a travel guide - and there are/were cases of unnecessary usage of adjectives, which I've removed instances of when I saw them.
• 5 - passes this ok.
• 6 - I think the images are great.

So, this is a decent article, but I don't think it is quite ready for GA status quite yet. I notice there has been no peer review for this article - it really could do with a thorough copyedit from a third party, in addition to fixing the issues above. Good luck with it, Majorly talk 21:17, 17 April 2009 (UTC)