Talk:Rahmah el Yunusiyah/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I may use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Links

Prose

Lede

• There's four refs in lede - are they necessary? Can we encorporate to the body instead? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Removed all refs from the lead, per WP:LEADCITE - they were not really necessary there as pointed out.

• Might be worth a heading note that the last name is "el Yunusiyah". {{family name hatnote}} is the template. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Added.

• She died in 1969 - could we expand slightly? Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 18:49, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Added details of her age and place of death.

General

• You link to the Dutch West Indies in the lede, you should also in the body. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Added.

• (most likely Arabic language as well as the Jawi alphabet and Van Ophuijsen Spelling System for local languages) - this would be better served as a note. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Added as a note, along with a new Notes section.

• (Dutch: Vrouwenbond dan Meisyeskring, Indonesian: Perkumpulan Wanita dan Kelompok Gadis) - same for this. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done

• brother Zainuddin - comma before and after Zainuddin. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done

• girls.[1][2][13][14] - this might be a case of WP:CITEKILL. Either remove one of WP:BUNDLING. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Fixed.

• mosque; el Yunusiyah herself was the main teacher. - where she was the main teacher. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Adjusted.

• In 1924 - these should have a comma after. check throughout. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Think I got them all.

• The nationalist figure Rasuna Said had been a student in the mixed gender Dinayah school and assistant teacher in the girls' school since 1923; Said incorporated politics into her courses, until she eventually came into a disagreement with el Yunusiyah and left the school for Padang in 1930.[ - this is a hell of a sentence. Suggest reword for readability. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Yes, that one did get away from us a little bit, didn't it!

• students.[11][18][19][20] - CITEKILL again. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Fixed.

• 1930s: continued advocacy - considering the other headers don't have the dates, probably not necessary. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 19:15, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

 Done Adjusted.

Review meta comments

• I'll begin the review as soon as I can! If you fancy returning the favour, I have a list of nominations for review at WP:GAN and WP:FAC, respectively. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these if you get time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:52, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

Great work - there wasn't really much here to critique. I'm going to pass this article now. If you get bored, feel free to take a look at any of my nominations. Great work. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 21:09, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

Thank you! I may well take a look at one of your nominations when I get done with the review I'm currently working on. —Ganesha811 (talk) 21:18, 15 October 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.