Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

edit

  This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 23 January 2019 and 8 May 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Hklegacy. Peer reviewers: Kaprager, Sklai.cpp, Jessicajwu.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 06:53, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Jessica Wu Review

edit

Hi, I started reading your article and was confused by the part that said she was from the "New York colony." Is this a city or tribal community? Maybe you can clarify this in your article. I would be more specific about the direction of the expedition in the beginning and in regards to how many miles they walked. She is actually a really interesting person, see if you can add any details of her life before the expedition and after. Overall, I think this is a good start, the article just needs more details and facts.

side question: Was Polly Cooper her name at birth?

-Jessica Wu

— Preceding unsigned comment added by Jessicajwu (talkcontribs) 05:55, 8 April 2019 (UTC)Reply 

Polly Cooper Review 9/10/2019

edit

Hi Hannah,

Polly Cooper is an interesting person, she is amazing example of how Native women contributed to the fight during the Revolutionary war!

I like that you added citations and the hyperlinks for “National Society Daughters of the American Revolution” and “Chappaqua, New York”. These hyperlinks help the reader understand a deeper context of her history and helps make the page more interesting. Also I like that you have a picture of her statue, when you add that to Cooper’s page ,it will make the page so much more interesting! -Some suggestions I have for the article would be to create a heading for the second paragraph and maybe title it : "American Revolution" or Her "Contribution to the American Revolution"

-I would also suggest taking that last sentence in the first paragraph and adding it to the second paragraph and then your first sentence can be the introduction to Cooper and why she is significant.

-I would also suggest a heading for the last paragraph and title it :" Polly Cooper;s Legacy" or something that encapsulates how she is remembered.

I think she is an intriguing person and your contributions are doing her justice! Sincerely, Kirstyn Kaprager (talk) 21:46, 10 April 2019 (UTC)KapragerReply

jcsalguero review

edit

Hi Hannah,

The information you have added to this article is very insightful. The paragraphs could be enhanced if there was a smoother flow between them. For example, the last sentence in the first paragraph and the first paragraph in the following should be together. Information wise, I'm curious if Polly Cooper was her name or if she had a Oneida given name? Lastly, maybe the labeling of each paragraph could be helpful. The final paragraph could be labeled "Legacy" due to how she is recognized.

Jcsalguero (talk) 23:49, 10 April 2019 (UTC)jcsalgueroReply

RTV Feedback

edit

Interesting edits! I would urge you to bolster the sourcing. While the Oneida sources are valuable, I don't see much in the way of peer-reviewed secondary sources. Even the Forgotten Allies book is mentioned here, but not used, but that is only one. With that, greater contextualization would also strengthen the article. While this doesn't need to go into extensive detail on the Revolutionary War, troop movements, the Oneida themselves, and their position during the war, more detail within this article would help to clarify the bigger picture and even our image of Polly Cooper herself. As you edit, be specific: carry corn to "them" and "the troops" (use specific language instead of abstract). Introduce sections better for clarity. "After the war" would work better as a new paragraph. Hope this helps! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Raevan2011 (talkcontribs) 17:41, 24 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

Polly Cooper Peer Review

edit

Good job, Hannah. Overall your article provides a broad overview in an unbiased manner about the historical contributions of Polly Cooper during the Revolutionary War. Your sources appear to be valid and appropriate to the nature of this assignment. I do have a few suggestions for addition if the information is available to you; although I understand that these people we are investigating can be somewhat obscure and verifiable sources can be difficult to come by.

1. If the information is accessible, you could expound more on Cooper's expedition from New York to Valley Forge and her experiences during the journey.

2. Changing "Colonial Army" to "Continental Army."

3. What did Cooper do after the war? What was the rest of her life like? Did she marry? Did she have any children? Were they also notable people?

4. When was she born? When did she die?

5. What was her early life like?

6. Has she ever been portrayed in any media such as television or films? Who was the actress that portrayed her?

7. Create a link to the Smithsonian Museum page when you mention it near the end of your article.

I know information can be hard to find so it is understandable that you've tapped out of available sources. I suppose we should be thankful for any scraps of info that we do find!

Sklai.cpp (talk) 14:34, 25 April 2019 (UTC)Reply

Link to original sandbox feedback.