Talk:Pat Gozemba/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 10:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
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Happy to discuss, or be challenged on, any of my review comments. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:52, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Thanks for picking this one up BennyOnTheLoose. I appreciate your work and look forward to working through the comments with you. SusunW (talk) 13:13, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Copyvio check

• I reviewed all matches over 7.5%. One query: "Adams said Gozemba "was able to persuade many that Camenker's claims were not credible"" - looks like this is a direct quote from the source, rather than a quote from Adams reported in the source. The other matches are titles, common phrases etc.

• Changed it to read "According to Ethan Jacobs' report in Bay Windows, "Adams said...". If that suffices, then done. SusunW (talk) 13:13, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Images

• Rationale seems fine for the use of the infobox picture. The other is CC 2.0. Placement, captions and alt text all fine. Optionally, "Pat" could be removed from the caption.

•  Done SusunW (talk) 13:13, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Early life and education

• What's the basis for "in 1940"? I couldn't see that the sources confirm the precise year, only that Gozemba was 42 in the 1982 Boston Globe article.

• The Globe article, backed up by her books, i.e. title pages like this one. SusunW (talk) 13:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• I think, as it's a BLP, better to add either that book reference (or another appropriate one), and use [[WP:BUNDLING for cosmetic reasons. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• Not exactly sure how to list it, but I just put p=title because I kind of doubt that it is a numbered page. SusunW (talk) 16:18, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "Growing up, Curran was close to her father, but estranged from her mother, who was ashamed that her daughter was a lesbian" - As we only have Gozemba's own account used, consider mentioning this in text. (e.g. "she wrote")

•  Done SusunW (talk) 13:19, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Career

• Optional: I don't have any specific suggestion, but can this be broken into more than or have subsections added? The discussion of her relationships with Kahn and with her father are perhaps more "Personal life" than career but it might be better to keep it here for the flow of the article rather than create a new Personal life section.

• I divided it up perhaps that works. Personal preference, I don't like pulling out a personal life section in biographies, mainly because a woman's personal life, unlike a man's through most of history, could not be separated from her public life. Regardless of her career, women typically have had interruptions in their working life for marriage, children, caring for aging parents, etc. Those explain why time trajectories aren't always smooth or logical and if they cause name changes, the poor reader is completely confused as to why that happened. There was a time when most men's biographies only discussed their careers and omitted any mention of family at all, as if their accomplishments were solely their own, when in truth, they had that luxury only because someone else was taking care of their private life. Thus, I also try to add the women in their lives back into men's biographies. Context is everything. I input it when it happened so one can see if the accomplishments they had were impacted, and not as an afterthought in some personal life section. SusunW (talk) 14:30, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• I think the sections are good, and take your point about "personal life" sections. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "introducing women's studies into their curricula, which was approved" - how about something like "introducing women's studies into their curricula. The subject was approved"?

•  Done SusunW (talk) 14:30, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "public service slide show" - why include "public service"?

• It's what the source said, but isn't necessary. Deleted. SusunW (talk) 14:30, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "The following year, she and other colleagues worked to successfully achieve salary equality for women" - include the scope of where this was achieved (MA State colleges, I think). Also I'm not sure from the source whether this was all achived by 1973; an "eventually" comes after the year being stated. They did indeed "work to successfully achieve" in 1973 but I think the current wording implies that equality was achieved that year.

• Good catch. Apparently not a simple answer. Yay, I found another article about her and the suit, but boo, it doesn't say when it was settled. It's weird that I cannot find the actual lawsuit they filed, but since I don't know the name of it… I've added the new source and tweaked the text. SusunW (talk) 14:30, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "She also served on the Coordinating Council of the National Women's Studies Association from 1979 to 1982[18][19][20][21]" - if all these citations are required here, I'd suggest WP:BUNDLING.

•  Done SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• There are duplicate links for Boston Herald and lesbian.

• removed SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• "As she lives only a short distance from the power plant, Gozemba is..." - I dont think the source says that it's a matter of mainly self-interest; maybe "Gozemba, who lives only a short distance from the power plant, is ..."?

•  Done SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• Three consecutive paragraphs start wiht "In year(s).." - I suggest rewording at least on of them for variety.

•  Done SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Legacy

• Content seems fine, but shouldn't this section he called something like "Honours and awards" rather than legacy?

• Personal preference? Most bios that I have seen end up making bullet-point lists of honors and awards, whereas legacy is typically prose. I prefer it to remain prose. SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• I don't see any specific guidance on this in WP:MOSBIO or WP:BLP; it's just that the section seems to be specifically about honours and awards and "legacy" seems a bit posthumous, but there's no need to change what's there. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Sources

• Spotchecks generally fine with any questions included above.

Infobox and lead

• "Many of her works aimed to recover the history of the LGBT community in and around Boston" - Is "recover" the right word?

• I think yes. It happened historically but because like any other marginalized group the history wasn't preserved for the academic or official record it had to be recovered. Perhaps uncovered, but still, it is an activist action to uncover and recover that which mainstream society had buried or hidden. I'm happy to discuss if you can think of another way to express it. SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

• OK, that's fine. I got myself overthinking about what it means to recover history. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

@SusunW: thanks for your work on the article. I only have minor suggestions and will place the nomination on hold. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 12:48, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

BennyOnTheLoose Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate your efforts to make the article better. If I have not adequately addressed any of your queries, please ping me and I'll try again. SusunW (talk) 14:57, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

@SusunW: Thanks for the speedy and helpful responses. I think that the one outstanding point is adding a reference for Gozemba's specific year of birth into the article. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:51, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Okay, I've done that. Hopefully correctly. Thank you so much for your help on it. SusunW (talk) 16:20, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

Great work on the article, thank you again. I'm satisfied that it meets the GA criteria. I'm going to use User:Novem Linguae/Scripts/GANReviewTool for the first time, so please bear with me if there are any hiccups in the successful closing of the review. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:43, 16 June 2022 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.