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Talk:Music of Final Fantasy XVI/GA1

< Talk:Music of Final Fantasy XVI
Latest comment: 11 months ago by Rhain in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 11 months ago5 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Rhain (talk · contribs) 23:15, 21 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

I'll take this one! Based on your previous work, I assume this won't take long. Expect a review shortly. – Rhain ☔ (he/him) 23:15, 21 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

Lead

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  • Takafumi Imamura, Daiki Ishikawa, Saya Yasaki, and Justin Frieden—is there any reason for this particular order (i.e., game/soundtrack credits)?
    • It arranged by amount of contribution.
  • developed to → developed by, I think
Done.
  • recurring songs—consider making it clearer that this refers to recurrings series songs (perhaps link to here?)
Done.
  • Japanese singer should be removed for concision and consistency
Done.
  • four-disc edition, and an... → seven-disc edition and an...
Done.
  • Consider swapping the mention of the album and single, since the latter was released first (though I understand the reasoning for the former first)
Done.
Done.

Creation and development

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  • Image caption needs a reference
Done.
  • asked to provide 140, the game's final total was over 200 songs, → asked to provide 140 songs, the game's final total was over 200,
Done.
  • Soken, Imamura and Ishikawa → Soken, Imamura, and Ishikawa
Done.
Composition
  • First two sentences use instead twice in close proximity—consider rephrasing
Done.
  • Eikons Ifrit and Phoenix—Eikons should be introduced here (instead of the second paragraph), perhaps in a footnote if difficult to phrase in prose
Done.
  • Maehiro, and localization... → Maehiro and localization...
Done.
  • usually orchestral—I assume "usually" means in the context of the series; consider making this clearer
Done.
  • made-up language → fictional language (and consider linking)
Done.
  • Ancient Greek. The translation was done by Timoslav Milković. → Ancient Greek by Timoslav Milković.
Done.
Theme songs
  • write the theme song for it → write its theme song
Done.
  • Link Square Enix, and consider introducing them as the developer and/or publisher
Done in the first paragraph of the whole section.
  • earlier songs which → earlier songs, which
Done.
  • pleased a heavy focus → placed a heavy focus
  • Remove the game's main protagonist
Done.
  • Introduce Jill in the second paragraph, instead of the third
Done.
  • full moon both see in the sky reads a little awkwardly at first—considering rephrasing to something like full moon they both see
Done.
  • he decided to make it → Yonezu decided to make it
Done.
  • Soken called → He called
Done.

Releases

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  • Italicise Final Fantasy XVI Original Soundtrack in the infobox
Done.
  • The infobox should probably only list Soken in |artist=, as the primary composer
Done.
Done.
  • one go → one sitting
Done.
  • Cat Bussell, writing a feature for TechRadar, → Cat Bussell of TechRadar
Done.
  • summed up the soundtrack as "the best... → called the soundtrack "the best...
Done.
  • Consider moving at The Game Awards 2023 to the end of the sentence for flow
Done.
  • Consider removing In an article on the single's release,
Done.
Done.
Done.

References

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  • From this revision:
    • Ref 1 and 9: Use |website= for PlayStation Blog
      Done.
    • Refs 1 and 2 do not support best known at the time for his work on the MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV and its expansions
      Adjusted
    • Ref 3 does not support the text
      Fixed.
    • Ref 4 does not support early 2020 (unless my translation is wrong)—ref 12 does, though
      Done.
    • Does Ref 6 support Soken et al. previously working on Shadowbringers and Endwalker? If not, this needs a separate ref
      Done.
    • Instead of plain text, ref 6 would be better represented using {{Cite AV media notes}}—for example: {{Cite AV media notes |title=''Final Fantasy XVI Original Soundtrack Ultimate Edition'' |type=booklet |language=Japanese |author=[[Square Enix]] |date=July 19, 2023 |publisher=Square Enix |id=SQEX-11031~8 }}
      Done.
    • Ref 22: |author= should be split using |last=, |first=, |authorlink=, etc.—e.g., |last1=Yonezu |first1=Kenshi |authorlink1=Kenshi Yonezu |last2=Yoshida |first2=Naoki |authorlink2=Naoki Yoshida
      Done.
    • Refs 34 and 35: Use |website= for Oricon
      Done.
    • Ref 42: Link Push Square
      Done.
    • Consider adding translated titles to Japanese-language sources (refs 3–5, 8, 12, 19–21, 25, 38–40) using |trans-title=
  • Perhaps outside of GA scope, but titles of works should be italicised in refs per MOS:CONFORMTITLE

Images

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Result

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Yep, that was as pleasant a read as I was expecting! Your command of language continues to be excellent, and always makes reviews enjoyable and content interesting. I've tried to be as thorough and nitpicky as possible—most of my comments are personal suggestions that you're welcome to disagree with, and anything written like this is purely a personal suggestion that can be safely ignored without impacting the review. I'll put the review on hold as procedure, but I expect this article will get its green plus very soon. Please feel free to voice any questions or concerns below (or above). – Rhain ☔ (he/him) 00:59, 22 January 2024 (UTC)Reply

@Rhain: I think I've sorted out everything essential raised above, and I've added an album cover for the main soundtrack. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:21, 22 January 2024 (UTC)Reply
@ProtoDrake: Thanks for your quick changes! Three more quick notes:
  • If "amount of contribution" is measured by the number of tracks on the album, then I believe the order should be Imamura, Ishikawa, Frieden, and Yasaki—but perhaps there's a different measurement, so I'll leave this to you
  • Just to confirm, File:FFXVI album cover.jpg is an appropriate addition with a suitable rationale   
  • If you plan to take the article further, consider my note above about italicisation in refs, and add alt text to all images
And with that, this is yours:  ‍! Thanks again for your hard work, as always. – Rhain ☔ (he/him) 12:48, 22 January 2024 (UTC)Reply
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