Talk:Mendocino County GMO Ban

Untitled

Excellent, well-researched article. Perhaps the introduction (definition) section could include a bit more info but it's a well written article.Lena815 (talk) 21:49, 15 April 2011 (UTC)

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Good job Vince. There is something, however that I think you can improve in this Wikipedia article:

1- you should give more references. Examples: the referendum in 2004 about Measure H (introduction); Measure H (introduction); there is a lack of references also in the second part of "background" section; the green revolution (environmental concerns); "well-known pesticide Roundup produced by Monsanto" in the "causes" section (eliminate "well-know" and give a link or a reference); in "the policy" section teh las sentence needs a reference; in "stakeholders" section these 3 sentences need a reference: "It accounts for approximately one third of Mendocino’s agriculture, the majority of which consists of wineries." "The organic farming industry in California has been the most organized lobby against GEOs due to concerns about cross-pollination." "In 2005, state senator Dean Florez attempted to pass a state preemptive bill prohibiting counties from banning GEOs."; in "evaluation" section this sentence needs a reference: "Mendocino is now cited internationally as a center of the organic movement and a catalyst for anti-GEO movements".

2- why "ban" is written in bold in the first sentence?

3- also more links are needed: California Plant Health Association, CropLife America, Monsanto, Dupont, Dow Chemical, RCBA, USDA, FDA, the Mendocino Organic Network, CHPA, FIFRA, EIS, RRA, KWS, NEPA and Mendocino County Farm Bureau

4- in the introduction you wrote: "Mendocino County has been added to an international list of “GMO free zones.”", which are these zones?

5- the references should be put at the end of the sentence (sometimes you put them at the beginning).

6- I think you should divide the environmental concerns section in 2 sub-sections: environmental risks and human health risks.

7- In causes you could say something about the historical behaviour of human beings to control and dominate nature (references to Al Gore and other readings of the semester)

8- the History sections should be organized with bullet points.

Vince005 (talk) 20:25, 19 April 2011 (UTC)

Hey Vince, fantastic work on this article. I agree with most all of the above points by Vince005. Some other points to think about:

1. When adding links, try to only link the first mention of any given topic, otherwise the links begin to overwhelm the reader, making them useless.
2. Instead of using <references/> you can use {{reflist|colwidth=30em}}. This template divides the references into columns (except in Internet Explorer), conserving vertical space on the page.
3. You may consider dividing the references by adding a "Works Cited" section where you list different sources, then list specific instances of each source in the "References" section. Take a look at Forest Park (Portland, Oregon)#References for an example. The goal here is to make it as easy as possible to verify the information in the article.
4. Ibid. is generally avoided on Wikipedia because for an online article that changes over time and is edited by various authors, this format is easily broken, leading to instances where only the original author knows what it refers to.
5. References can be named and reused, so that you can point to the same ref for two different points in the article. See Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners#Same reference used more than once on how to do this.

I hope that helps. Please feel free to ask me on my talk page or right here below this post if you need any additional explanation, or if you have any questions. Regards, Jujutacular ^talk 02:09, 20 April 2011 (UTC)

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