Talk:Hurra-yi Khuttali/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Nominator: Amir Ghandi (talk · contribs) 19:56, 17 May 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Simongraham (talk · contribs) 14:45, 1 September 2024 (UTC)

This looks an interesting article and, on a cursory inspection, close to meeting the Good Article criteria already. I will start my review shortly. simongraham (talk) 14:45, 1 September 2024 (UTC)

Comments

• Overall, the standard of the article is high.
• It is relatively short for a Good Article, with 852 words of readable prose.
• The lead is appropriately long at 128 words.
• Authorship is 72.8% from the nominator with contributions from 7 other editors.
• It is currently assessed as a B class article

Criteria

The six good article criteria:

1. It is reasonable well written.

   the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct;

   • Please reword "literary competence in composing her letter".
     • Changed the whole sentence. Amir Ghandi (talk) 10:11, 2 September 2024 (UTC)
   • Reword "Distinguished from her sisters, Hurra was praised for her competence and intelligence" explaining who praised her and explaining "her competence".
     • Done, also expanded it
   • Look at "she persuaded to learn other sciences" Is there a missing name and it should read "she persuaded x to teach her other sciences". If so, please explain the context for this learning.
     • Wrong word, replaced it with sought. Amir Ghandi (talk) 09:56, 2 September 2024 (UTC)
   • Look at "Mahmud threatened the rebels to return Hurra. Only after she was safely returned that Mahmud invaded Khwarazm and…" Please reword. If the sources support it, suggest something like "Mahmud threatened the rebels with x unless they release Hurra. When they did, he invaded Khwarazm in revenge and…"
     • Done
   • Reword "Per Mahmud's will, his other son, Muhammad succeeded him". If you have the information, suggest "In his will, Mahmud gave his successor as his son Muhammad, who was crowned in x".
     • Done
   • Reword "Upon arrival at Ghazna, Mas'ud imprisoned Ali b. Il-Arsalan Qarib, the al-hajib al-kabir(commander-in-chief) of the army, who had assumed total power in Ghazna, supporting Muhammad's succession. Furthermore, he reportedly blinded Muhammad." If the sources support it, suggest something like, "On his arrival on x in Ghazna, Mas'ud captured Muhammad and took the throne. He put Muhammad in prison and may have had him blinded. He also imprisoned Ali b. Il-Arsalan Qarib, the al-hajib al-kabir (commander-in-chief) of the army, who had assumed total power in Ghazna. Qarib had assumed oower (when, why)".
     • Done
   • "on the second place" -> "in second place".
     • Done
   • "mostly because the Ghaznavids were unpopular in the region" Do we know why? Suggest this should be higher in the prose. Is this because it was second to Ghazna?
     • Elaborated
   • I can see no other obvious spelling or grammar errors.

   it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead, layout and word choice.

   • "Defeat" is mentioned in successive sentences. Please reword one.
     • Done
   • It seems to otherwise comply with the Manuals of Style.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   it contains a reference section, presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;

   • A reference section is included, with sources listed.

   all inline citations are from reliable sources;

   • There is a good balance between English and Persian sources.
   • Sources include peer-reviewed journals, books from credible publishers, such as CUP and EUP, and online versions of the Encyclopaedia of the World of Islam .
   • Spot checks confirm that Bosworth 1981, 1998 and 2020 discuss the topic. Forouzani 2014 relies on Bosworth.

   it contains no original research;

   • The comment that she "repeatedly sent him [Mahmud] luxurious gifts" occurs after the paragrph on her schooling. Is this the right timescale?
     • I wrote it per the source, which mentions her relation with her brother immediately after her education
   • All other relevant statements have inline citations.

   it contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism;

   • Earwig gives a 10.2% chance of copyright violation, which means it is unlikely. The main overlap with the top matches seems to be the titles of books.

3. It is broad in its coverage

   it addresses the main aspects of the topic.

   • "The reason for this marriage was Abu al-Hasan's fear of an invasion from the Ghaznavids." Please explain.
     • Reworded
   • The article is otherwise compliant.

   it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).

   • The article is compliant.

4. It has a neutral point of view.

   it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to different points of view.

   • The article seems balanced and projects no political stance.

5. It is stable.

   it does not change significantly from day to day because of any ongoing edit war or content dispute.

   • There is no evidence of edit wars.

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   images are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content;

   • Both images have appropriate Creative Commons licenses.

   images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.

   • The images are appropriate, but tangential. There is nothing of the subject herself. Are there any images of her or anything that directly relates to her (rather than, for example, her nephew) available? Although not a GA criteria, I also suggest adding ALT text for accessibility.
     • Unfortunately, nothing. Also for your second point, I have already added ALT texts. Amir Ghandi (talk) 09:55, 2 September 2024 (UTC)

@Amir Ghandi: Thank you for an interesting article. Please take a look at my comments above and ping me when you would like me to take another look. simongraham (talk) 09:50, 2 September 2024 (UTC)

Hello @Simongraham, thanks for the review, I've addressed all your concerns. Amir Ghandi (talk) 08:14, 3 September 2024 (UTC)

@Amir Ghandi: Excellent work. It is a shame about the lack of an image but otherwise I believe there is only two things remaining. Please find another word for realm in "his marriage would have secured an alliance between the two realms, since the Ma'amunids feared Mahmud's intentions to annex their realm". Can you also sort the order of the sources and expand Bosworth's name in Bosworth 1977 and Bearman et al 2012 as they are not consistent with Bosworth's name in the remainder. simongraham (talk) 12:43, 5 September 2024 (UTC)

@Simongraham Done Amir Ghandi (talk) 07:09, 6 September 2024 (UTC)

@Amir Ghandi: Thank you. I believe that this article meets the criteria to be a Good Article.

Pass simongraham (talk) 17:26, 6 September 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.