Talk:Guru Radha Kishan

Major cleanup needed

I would like all recent contributors to consider helping out to address the article's current severe problems.

• The article has excessive amounts of bolding; the only thing that should be bolded is his name(s) in the lead section
• The lead section does not follow the rules of WP:Lead section: instead of being a concise summary of the whole article, it simply starts to tell his story chronologically. An encyclopedia article is not a mystery novel, the goal is not to build up suspense in the reader and leave them wondering what comes next. The point of the lead is to summarise the entire article in just a few sentences
• The articles has/had too many honorific terms like "Ji", "Comrade", "Shrim/mant" etc. For the sake of neutrality these must not be used, except in direct quotes of statements made by others. The subject should also be referred to only by surname in the usual course of the article, so simply "Kishan" vice his full name. Also terms like "this brave boy" are completely WP:NPOV and are not helpful for the article.
• The article "namedrops" dozens of names of figures with little context. I understand some editors want to draw connexions between Kishan and other activists, but the sheer bulk of names robs them of any impact. Please mention other people sparingly unless you're actually clearly explaining their interaction. Saying "He worked with Jones, and Smith, and Anderson, and Thompson, and Miller... etc." only confuses the reader and draws away emphasis.
• The article does not have clear context: the only person who can really follow it is someone who already knows the whole story. You mention characters without describing their role, you mention "in that protest" without ever mentioning which protest and when. Imagine you are writing this article for unfamiliar people in Australia, Mexico, Namibia, and all other countries. Because that's what Wikipedia is, for a global audience. Do not assume they simply know what you're talking about when you make offhand references to people and events. Don't forget to add wikilinks so readers can understand events like the 1984 anti-Sikh riots.

Here is the huge issue:

• The WP:Sourcing for this article is very, very poor. For the vast majority of it, the reader has absolutely no idea what source proves any statement to be correct. For example you say he was disciplined for flying the tricolour at school? Very well, where does it say that? Give us a clear WP:Footnote to a book, news article, something a reader can glance at and verify that this is recorded historical fact. Ideally references should be neutral, so try not to use footnotes to Kishan's friends or own political party, but aim instead for books by historians and political scientists, or reputable news media.

These are a few of the things that must be done to bring this article to acceptable condition and do proper justice, in a neutral and objective way, to Kishan's career. MatthewVanitas (talk) 00:40, 14 July 2013 (UTC)