Talk:Geoffrey Massey
Latest comment: 3 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review
![]() | Geoffrey Massey has been listed as one of the Art and architecture good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: April 21, 2021. (Reviewed version). |
![]() | A fact from Geoffrey Massey appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 28 December 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
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Did you know nomination
edit- The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 12:24, 20 December 2020 (UTC)
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... that modernist Canadian architect Geoffrey Massey was inspired to take up urban design by Le Corbusier's grounds-up design of the Indian city of Chandigarh? Source: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/art-and-architecture/article-pioneer-of-west-coast-modernism-helped-shape-vancouver-culture/- ALT1:... that modernist Canadian architect and urban planner Geoffrey Massey was part of a movement that prevented freeways from being built in Vancouver? Source: https://vancouversun.com/news/local-news/west-coast-architecture-legend-geoffrey-massey-dies-at-age-96 https://www.theglobeandmail.com/arts/art-and-architecture/article-pioneer-of-west-coast-modernism-helped-shape-vancouver-culture/
Created by Ktin (talk). Self-nominated at 07:14, 12 December 2020 (UTC).
- Please can I request an editor to pick this one up for review? We missed submitting this article for WP:ITNRD and I would like for us to be able to send it to homepage via WP:DYK. Appreciate anyone signing up. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 22:36, 14 December 2020 (UTC)
- Checking again, any editors available to pick this one up for a review? Thanks much. Ktin (talk) 20:59, 16 December 2020 (UTC)
- Hi Ktin, I'll pick this one up. Article was created 12 December; article is of good length; article is adequately well written (there are a couple of unusual turns of phrase but nothing major); article is cited inline throughout to what look to be reliable sources; I didn't spot any overly close paraphrasing from the sources; I can't access either of the sources used to support the hooks, are you able to provide quotations to support these; I would note that the article text doesn't currently support the first hook, it only states that he took part in debates on urban design, not that he was introduced to the field by Le Corbusier's work - Dumelow (talk) 06:29, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks @Dumelow:. Here you go.
At Harvard, much of the academic and peer discussion had centred on new ways of designing urban environments, including Le Corbusier’s entirely new city of Chandigarh in India. He hoped to find similar opportunities in fast-growing British Columbia.Once hired, however, Mr. Massey was dismayed when he saw drawings of its rigid urban template and monotonous house designs. He then realized that instead of Canada’s Chandigarh, this would be Alcan’s company town – economically driven and utterly banal. It was his first rude awakening to the limitations of his chosen profession.
-- This one is for the first hook. For the second hook here's the textAs a Vancouver city councillor with Art Phillips and TEAM in 1972, he was part of a political movement that put a stop to freeways and redeveloped the south side of False Creek from industrial to residential.
. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 06:37, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks Ktin, I am happy this source supports what is stated in the article but not convinced that ALT0 reflects this. I've reworded ALT1 slightly ("ended freeways from entering" didn't sound right to me) and am happy to approve that one. QPQ has been carried out - Dumelow (talk) 07:09, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
- @Dumelow: Pardon the delay, was busy in the offline world. I think this looks good. Ktin (talk) 07:06, 19 December 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks Ktin, I am happy this source supports what is stated in the article but not convinced that ALT0 reflects this. I've reworded ALT1 slightly ("ended freeways from entering" didn't sound right to me) and am happy to approve that one. QPQ has been carried out - Dumelow (talk) 07:09, 17 December 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks @Dumelow:. Here you go.
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Geoffrey Massey/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:56, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
Comments
- "As an urban planner he was " -> "As an urban planner, Massey was..." (you've mentioned Erickson in between so "he" is uncertain).
- Done Ktin (talk) 19:24, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- "city of Vancouver and development of Granville Island in the city." repetitive use of "city" in one sentence.
- Done. Removed the first city. But, if you think I should retain the first 'city' and remove the second, please do let know. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 19:24, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- No need to link common geographical places like London.
- Done both from passage and the infobox. Ktin (talk) 19:24, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- Question: which Engvar? "a theater artist" theatre for Brit.
- Done. Changed this. But, if there is something else that I need to correct, please feel free to let know. Ktin (talk) 19:32, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- "father's career took him to Broadway" feels out of order as you've already said his father was a Broadway actor.
- Tried a revision. Please see if this works better. Happy to make any additional changes. Ktin (talk) 01:23, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- "Canadian military" any more, like which arm?
- Done added more. Ktin (talk) 19:27, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- Bachelor of Arts is normally capitalised.
- Done Ktin (talk) 19:24, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- "towards urban design, including introduction" I would split these.
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:25, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Interestingly, Chandigarh doesn't mention "grounds-up" or "ground-up" (although to me the latter makes more sense).
- Done Ktin (talk) 19:27, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- "building a new township Kitimat" -> "building Kitimat, a new township, ..."
- Done. Ktin (talk) 20:33, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "designs and rigid design templates.[1] He met Arthur Erickson and they partnered on many design projects" "design" overdose.
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:28, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- "met Arthur Erickson and they partnered on many design projects.[3] ... Partnering with Erickson," repetitive.
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:27, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- "that would beat 71 other submissions to end up winning the competition." -> "that beat 71 other submissions to win the competition."
- Done. Ktin (talk) 20:18, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "and going for a " -> "and adopting a"
- Done. Ktin (talk) 20:30, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Earlier in 1963," reads odd, like you're saying "earlier in the year". Do you mean "Earlier, in 1963, ..."
- Done. Eikes. Yes, I "meant Earlier, in 1964, ...". Fixed. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 20:18, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "architect, Ron Thom, to win"' our article calls him Ronald, any reason we don't here?
- Done. Ktin (talk) 20:18, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "He became a ..." he ... he ... he ... he .... mix it up a bit.
- Done. Ktin (talk) 01:31, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- "her modernist house" overlinked.
- Done Ktin (talk) 20:18, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- "Source(s):" well, there are four, so just "Sources:" would be fine.
- Done Ktin (talk) 20:18, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- I would expect "notable" works to have articles.
"* Done changed. Ktin (talk) 19:33, 1 April 2021 (UTC) That's all I have for a first pass, on hold. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 19:54, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
- @The Rambling Man: Many thanks for this detailed and thoughtful feedback. Let me work on these pointers and will notify you once the changes are ready for your eyes. Ktin (talk) 20:11, 31 March 2021 (UTC)
Another set of comments
editI had thought of reviewing this article but then didn't have the time. But I made a few notes at the time, which I have reproduced here for whatever they are worth:
- His father was a very well-known film actor, not just theatre.
- Done. Please have a look and let know if you'd need any additional edits. Ktin (talk) 01:31, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Geoffrey was raised by his famous father, how did that affect him?
- Didn't get a specific answer to this one. Is there any specific line that you are thinking around? Not been able to find much. Ktin (talk) 01:37, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Sources are dominated by obituaries, would be good to have some other kinds of sources.
- Added some more info from newspaper archives from the local library. Ktin (talk) 02:20, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- In particular would be good to have some real architectural criticism.
- fns 3 and 4 are to the same thing
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:34, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Why did his partnership with Erickson end?
Didn't get a specific answer to this one, but, it appears that ~1972 was when ran for / became a member of the city council and the partnership ended at that time. Let me know if that helps. Ktin (talk) 01:36, 19 April 2021 (UTC)- Done Managed to get some more details from Newspaper archives from that period. Ktin (talk) 02:10, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- '... due to agonies ...' – that word seems a little over the top.
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:34, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- In what branch of Canadian military did he serve, and in what role?
- Done Ktin (talk) 01:32, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
Needless to say, you are free to act on these comments or not as you see fit. Wasted Time R (talk) 17:26, 1 April 2021 (UTC)
- Ktin let me know when you think you might address these? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:33, 7 April 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for your patience on this one The Rambling Man. Certain off-wiki / IRL activities have meant that I have not been able to spend much time on Wiki, and this is expected to continue through mid-next week. Please can I request some additional time to get to this. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 16:05, 7 April 2021 (UTC)
- Thanks for your patience The Rambling Man. Have incorporated most of the requests. Please have a look at your convenience and let me know if you'd need anything more from my end. Cheers. Ktin (talk) 02:21, 19 April 2021 (UTC)
- Ok, that's fine, good to go. The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 11:59, 21 April 2021 (UTC)
- Ktin let me know when you think you might address these? The Rambling Man (Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!) 10:33, 7 April 2021 (UTC)