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Talk:Donda/GA1

< Talk:Donda
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 2 years ago60 comments3 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Realmaxxver (talk · contribs) 22:36, 28 November 2021 (UTC)Reply


Going to add some comments soon. Right away I will say that the "Cover art" section feels too short to be it's own section. Given that the section deals with how the album packaging looked before album release, it could work as the first subsection of "Release and promotion". Realmaxxver (talk) 22:36, 28 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Thanks for picking this up, as the retention period for Kanye West studio albums GT is literally today! Regarding your above comment, I was actually not the one who added a separate section for the cover and this has now been moved into release and promotion as a sub-section. --K. Peake 09:27, 29 November 2021 (UTC)Reply
To be honest, I did not know about the retention period thing. Realmaxxver (talk) 21:28, 29 November 2021 (UTC)Reply
Realmaxxver I have worked in all of your suggetstions apart from in areas where I disagreed and if you have any responses to my questions about implementation, please add. --K. Peake 22:11, 19 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

Media review

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  • When hovering over the images, they link to DaBaby and Marilyn Manson (Although already linked in the image caption)

Besides that, the images are okay. Realmaxxver (talk) 04:10, 30 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

I've gone and tracked down sources and added them to the pages for the images similarly to Donda (Mercedes-Benz Stadium).jpg. Nicenice23 (talk) 09:13, 30 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Lead

  • "Guest vocals from the Sunday Service Choir, Jay-Z, Playboi Carti, Lil Baby, The Weeknd, Vory, DaBaby, and Marilyn Manson, among others, are featured." It could also be mentioned that Chris Brown was previously on the album; "Guest vocals from the Sunday Service Choir, Jay-Z, Playboi Carti, Lil Baby, The Weeknd, Vory, DaBaby, and Marilyn Manson, among others, are featured, and the album previously featured Chris Brown."
  • "followed by a second event there on August 5 that set a record for the biggest Apple Music livestream ever." WP:DUPLINK at "Apple Music livestream"
  • "and is set to be followed by both "Believe What I Say" and "Off the Grid" in November." needs to be updated now.
  • "Donda is nominated for both Album of the Year and Best Rap Album at the 64th Annual Grammy Awards," replace "is nominated" with "is a nominee"

Background

  • "On June 26, 2020, West unveiled a collaboration between his fashion company Yeezy and clothing retailer Gap alongside the launch of the #WestDayEver promotional campaign on Twitter," change to "On June 26, 2020, West unveiled a collaboration between his fashion company Yeezy and clothing retailer Gap, and also launched the #WestDayEver promotional campaign on Twitter,"
  • "One of the projects was a music video for the track "Wash Us in the Blood" that features fellow rapper Travis Scott, directed by Jafa; the video was released on June 30, following a teaser in which West officially announced the album's title as God's Country.[2][3]" The song itself was released on the same day of the music video, which should be mentioned; maybe something like "One of the projects was a music video for the track "Wash Us in the Blood" that features fellow rapper Travis Scott, directed by Jafa; the video was released on June 30, the same day the song was released, which followed a teaser in which West officially announced the album's title as God's Country.[2][3]"
  • "On July 17, Consequence posted a video of West in the studio with Tyler, the Creator on Instagram.[16] The caption of the post suggested a summer 2021 album release.[16]" could be merged into two sentences, like "On July 17, Consequence posted a video of West in the studio with Tyler, the Creator on Instagram,[16] whose caption suggested a summer 2021 album release.[16]" there is also WP:CITEKILL here.
  • "Immediately following the commercial's debut, Def Jam reaffirmed the album's release date and revealed that the Atlanta listening event would be globally livestreamed on Apple Music.[21][22]" May be a bit redundant, might be better to either remove "immediately" or replace "following" with "after"

Recording

  • "That same month, GOOD Music president Pusha T stated in a Discord interview that he had been recording with West recently.[24] Pusha T was planning to meet with West on March 16, 2020, to complete a project, but cited "flights slowing down" due to COVID travel restrictions as the reason for a delay.[24]" More WP:CITEKILL
  • "After "Hurricane" was first previewed, it went through various iterations, with contributions from artists such as 6ix9ine, KayCyy, and American musician Ty Dolla Sign.[31][33][34]" It could be mentioned that Ty Dolla Sign would be featured in "Junya pt 2", like "After "Hurricane" was first previewed, it went through various iterations, with contributions from artists such as 6ix9ine, KayCyy, and American musician Ty Dolla Sign.[31][33][34], of which the latter would feature on "Junya pt 2" "
  • "However, none of their contributions made the final cut, which features vocals from Lil Baby and Canadian singer the Weeknd.[34]" multiple different comments with this one:
  • Does "However, none of their contributions made the final cut" refer to on the song or on the album? see previous comment.
  • WP:CITEKILL with this sentence and the sentence before this.
  • replace "which features" with "and they would be replaced with"
  • "Court filings obtained on June 14 revealed that West was recording for the album in Honolulu, Hawaii, after reportedly "freaking out" during his deposition in an ongoing lawsuit with tech company MyChannel; he held sessions at Island Studio in the city.[36][37][38] Singer-songwriter Syleena Johnson worked on music in San Francisco on July 15, 2021, indicating via an Instagram post that she was collaborating with West.[39]":
  • Change layout of the first sentence to "Court filings obtained on June 14 revealed that West was recording for the album in Honolulu, Hawaii, where he held sessions at Island Studio, after reportedly "freaking out" during his deposition in an ongoing lawsuit with tech company MyChannel.[36][37][38]"
  • replace "on July 15, 2021" to "a month later"

Scrapped tracks

  • I think this subsection could work better as a "Songs" subsection
  • "A song titled "Never Abandon Your Family" was previewed at the respective listening events for Donda on July 22 and August 6, 2021.[52]" replace "respective" with "first two"
  • "Rapper Soulja Boy originally recorded a verse for the track "Remote Control", although he was not included on the final version of the song." add to the end of the sentence; "Rapper Soulja Boy originally recorded a verse for the track "Remote Control", although he was not included on the final version of the song, being replaced with Young Thug."

Music and lyrics

  • "Donda covers the stylistic groundwork of West's previous albums;[67][68] it has been described as a hip hop,[69][70] gospel,[71][72] progressive rap,[70] and pop record.[73][74] The album includes elements of trap, drill, boom bap,[75] hip house, and rock.[76]" merge these two sentences into something like "Donda covers the stylistic groundwork of West's previous albums;[67][68] it has been described as a hip hop,[69][70] gospel,[71][72] progressive rap,[70] and pop record,[73][74] but Donda also includes elements of trap, drill, boom bap,[75] hip house, and rock.[76]"
  • "References to addiction and mental instability are prominent,[67] as well as Kanye West's ego and his family,[71] including the collapse of his marriage with Kardashian and thoughts about Donda.[68][73]" suggesting changing "Donda" to either "Donda West" or "his mother"

Songs

  • "The album's opening track, "Donda Chant", consists of singer Syleena Johnson chanting Donda West's forename repeatedly for nearly a minute.[67][79]" Syleena Johnson is already linked in the Recording section
  • "It contains a Drake diss from West, who alludes to Certified Lover Boy's delayed release.[77][78]" I was originally going to suggest you change "who alludes" to "which alludes" but after looking at the sources, I do not know what this is supposed to mean.
  • ""No Child Left Behind" is the album's final track before the second versions of songs and features Vory uttering the titular phrase in reference to the education act signed by 2001–2009 US president George W. Bush," This is also WP:EASTEREGG, and the link should be changed from "education act" to "the educational act"

Release and promotion

  • "along with an August 27 release date, before the date was revised to six days later.[97][98] Conflictingly, Apple Music displayed the release date to be August 15, before one set for five days later appeared on the service.[97][99]" This seems a bit repetitive. I would suggest replacing "for five days later" with "for August 20"
  • ""Hurricane" reached number 12 on the Swedish Singles Chart, while it debuted five places higher on the UK Singles Chart.[113][114]" → ""Hurricane" reached number 12 on the Swedish Singles Chart, with it debuting five places higher on the UK Singles Chart.[113][114]"
  • " On November 30, 2021, "Believe What I Say" and "Off the Grid"were released as singles to US rhythmic and urban contemporary radio stations, respectively," forgot to add a space after "Off the Grid"
  • "A music video for "Come to Life" was released on September 2, 2021.[119] The video features footage from the album's third listening event at Soldier Field, showing West setting on fire then reuniting with Kardashian.[119] A music video for "24" was released on September 16, 2021.[120] The video begins with footage from Donda's second Mercedes-Benz Stadium listening event of West ascending towards the sky, before he rises above the stadium and floats around among clouds.[120]";
  • WP:CITEKILL is also seen here: "A clip for "Donda Chant" was shared exclusively to Instagram by West on September 19, 2021.[121] The black-and-white visual incorporates aerial footage from the album's Soldier Field listening event that shows the replica of Kanye West's childhood home, on which flashes of old pictures of Donda are projected.[121]"
  • change the passage on the 24 music video to "A music video for "24" was released on two weeks later, and begins with footage from Donda's second Mercedes-Benz Stadium listening event of West ascending towards the sky, before he rises above the stadium and floats around among clouds.[120]"

Cover art

  • Suggest changing the value in the direction= parameter in the {{Multiple image}} template to horizontal
  • "A woman is shown in monochromatic red on the painting and a matching ponytail flows behind her," change layout to "In the painting, a woman is shown in monochromatic red and a matching ponytail flows behind her,"

Streaming performance and updates

  • "The album also set a new record by reaching number one on Apple Music's top albums chart in 152 countries in its first day, and earned the third-biggest first day debut streams for an album.[129] West and Donda broke the 2021 record for the most-streamed artist and album in one day on Apple Music, while 19 of the top-20 tracks on the service's Top 100 Global songs chart were from the album.[129]":
  • "West and Donda" seems unnecessary
  • This is more of a general comment for this section, but in the text before the subsections, the use of dates in this section can get a bit repetitve. For example, in places like "On August 20, 2021, the service listed a release date of August 28, one day after Donda's third listening party; Thiam reaffirmed that the release would come after the event.[100] On August 27, 2021," the last date of "August 27, 2021," should be "August 27"
  •   Comment: I avoided writing out full dates when I didn't need to, but they are important to be used if the year has not been mentioned on the previous occasion for proper context. --K. Peake 08:02, 16 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

Listening events

  • "West held a private listening event for the album at ChurchLV in Las Vegas on July 18, 2021, which required registration and was invite-only.[152] It started at 6:30 p.m. and finished at 8 p.m.[152]" WP:CITEKILL
  • "West was completely silent throughout and paced the length of the stage at points, where he was unaccompanied.[158][160] The listening event sold out Mercedes-Benz Stadium's 2021 capacity of 42,000, alongside setting a record for the biggest Apple Music livestream worldwide, with over 3.3 million viewers.[158][160]" more WP:CITEKILL
  • "The listening party had over 40,000 attendees, though only four of them took a shot of the Pfizer–BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine that they were invited to receive there.[165] It surpassed West's own record for the most popular livestream on Apple Music, drawing in 5.4 million viewers.[165]":
  • "though only four of them took a shot of the Pfizer–BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine that they were invited to receive there.[165]" might be a bit WP:EXCESSDETAIL
  • WP:CITEKILL

Critical reception

  • The first paragraph is really short, could it be combined with the next paragraph?
  • "Charles Lyons-Burt of Slant Magazine felt impressed with Donda, believing it to feature West at "arguably the most vulnerable and broken that [he] has allowed himself to appear on record".[84] Lyons-Burt also praised the themes and production, and concluded by labeling the album West's "most unforgiving self-portrait yet".[84]" WP:CITEKILL
  • "Marcus Shorter hailed Donda as the rapper's best album since Yeezus at Consequence, describing it as "ambitious, raw, indulgent, and, after several revisions, a cohesive vision".[73]" change to "Writing for Consequence, Marcus Shorter hailed Donda as the rapper's best album since Yeezus, describing it as "ambitious, raw, indulgent, and, after several revisions, a cohesive vision".[73]"
  • "Wood asserted that Donda registers more as a way "of maintaining Kanye's powerful social standing" than "an organized aesthetic experience", characterizing it as feeling "slapdash" due to the disorganized themes.[70] He went on to praise how the album takes from West's various eras of the past, such as Yeezus, Jesus Is King, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, and 808s & Heartbreak.[70]"
  • "Kornhaber gave the album a negative review, writing that "supposed transcendence comes to feel suspiciously like regression" while surrender feels like "self-exculpation".[69] He complained how the album "aches" for "a miracle to unfold" of similarity to the accompanying listening events and harshly asserted that it seems like "a career's worth of B-sides", despite crediting the highlights for being "pretty good".[69]"
  • "Jonny Coleman, writing for The Hollywood Reporter, called Donda a "slog", feeling confused as to what the album "is supposed to be the soundtrack for", admitting it is neither a "party record" nor inviting of introspection. Coleman also believed the album lacks spirituality besides literal references, saying it is "not really a radio record", and is "disposable and forgettable, like so much of culture spat down to us during COVID".[181] In particular, Coleman felt the album lacked thematic coherence and reverence for Donda West, viewing it as self-indulgent.[181]"

Commercial performance

  • "It reached the summit of the US Top Christian Albums and Top Gospel Albums charts too," change to "It also reached the summit of the US Top Christian Albums and Top Gospel Albums charts,"
  • "In Canada, Donda topped the Canadian Albums Chart.[195] On November 23, 2021, it was certified gold by Music Canada (MC) for shelving 40,000 album-equivalent units in the country.[196]" merge these into a single sentence; "In Canada, Donda topped the Canadian Albums Chart,[195] and on November 23, 2021, it was certified gold by Music Canada (MC) for shelving 40,000 album-equivalent units in the country.[196]"
  • "Elsewhere, the album entered atop the ARIA Albums chart in Australia, standing as West's fourth number-one release on the chart. This led to him joining 5 Seconds of Summer, Justin Bieber, Keith Urban, Kings of Leon, and Lady Gaga as one of the acts to achieve their fourth number-one album in the 2020s decade.[197] The debut increased West's number of chart-topping weeks to five, alongside giving the rapper his ninth top-10 release on the ARIA Albums chart. 19 of Donda's tracks debuted within the top-50 of the ARIA Singles chart; "Hurricane" charted the highest at number four.[197] The entries surpassed Taylor Swift's milestone of 16 debuts in the top-50, as well as the record held by both Post Malone and Michael Jackson for 17 tracks present within this ranking. The album also topped the New Zealand Albums chart.[197]" WP:CITEKILL
  • "The album also topped the New Zealand Albums chart.[197] By October 4, 2021, it had been certified gold by the Recorded Music NZ (RMNZ) for shipments of 7,500 units in New Zealand.[198]" merge the sentences; "The album also topped the New Zealand Albums chart,[197] and by October 4, 2021, it had been certified gold by the Recorded Music NZ (RMNZ) for shipments of 7,500 units in New Zealand.[198]"
  •   Done

Comments about prose finished! Realmaxxver (talk) 21:50, 18 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

Source review

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  • Realmaxxver Thanks a lot for the pass and being so constructive during this review, I was thinking as well that the article could become a FA with its large size, however I would read through this again in detail to check the standard is met then submit for a peer review. Also, I have submitted a supplementary nomination of the album for Kanye West studio albums, care to comment? --K. Peake 08:20, 20 December 2021 (UTC)Reply

Overall

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GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
    d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  2. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  3. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  4. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  5. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

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