Talk:Darejan Dadiani/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 20:41, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

Hi. I'm Calvin999 and I am reviewing this nomination.  — Calvin999 20:58, 26 August 2015 (UTC)

@Calvin999: are you continuing with this? sst✈ 09:19, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

I completely forgot I had opened this to be honest.  — Calvin999 10:37, 11 October 2015 (UTC)

@Calvin999:, @SSTflyer: So the question wasn't actually answered. Calvin999, are you going to review this nomination? — Maile (talk) 20:46, 14 October 2015 (UTC)

Yes I will today.  — Calvin999 08:19, 15 October 2015 (UTC)

• One connection issue
• Add her age to the date and place of death in the Info box
• The article title and info box says Darejan Dadiani but the lead just says Darejan?
• was the third wife of the Georgian monarch Heraclius II and, thus, the queen consort of Kakheti and then also of Kartli in eastern Georgia. → was Queen Consort of Kakheti, and later Kartli-Kakheti in Eastern Georgia, as the wife of King Heraclius II.
• Darejan wed Heraclius in 1750. Their 48 years of marriage produced 23 children. In the closing years of Heraclius's reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs. → Darajan married Heraclius in 1750 and their marriage lasts 48 years until his death in 1798; the union produced 23 children. In the final years of her husbands reign, Darejan exerted significant influence on politics and court affairs.
• whose progeny she tried to prevent from succeeding to the throne of Georgia. → What does progeny mean? I don't understand the sentence as a result.
• After the Russian annexation of Georgia, Queen Dowager Darejan was deported to Russia proper in 1803. → You need to say that following his death, I kind of helped you out with my suggestion above with this, but at the moment all the sentences are bit lumped together.
• was buried there, at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra. → and was buried at the Alexander Nevsky Lavra.
• Lead says Katsia-Giorgi Dadiani, Early life and marriage says Katsia (Giorgi) Dadiani. Pick one and be consistent.
• She was only 12 years old in 1750, when Heraclius, then reigning in Kakheti, chose her as his third wife, a year after his second wife, Ana Abashidze, died. → There are so many clauses here. It makes it difficult to read.
• Is this entire section attributed just to the final citation at the end?
• The couple's first better documented child, → This is poorly worded
• in the period → Remove
• In the last years of Heraclius II, → in what?
• her influence became to be felt. → Okay?
• In 1791 Darejan → Comma after the date
• , George, now King George XII, → the now King George XII
• , on one hand, and Darejan and her sons, on the other → This could be worded so much simpler
• Another major point at issue between → Same here
• neighbor → Should American English be being used here?
• In 1800 one → Comma after date
• You flick between Queen Dowager Darejan and just Darejan. Pick one.
• Ivan Lazarev, issued → No need for the comma
• Shouldn't Tsar be capitalised?
• Queen Dowager and her sons → If you're going to use this, then it should be 'The Queen Dowager...'
• Once, the general infuriated her → Way too conversational
• reached full age. → reached adulthood

Sorry it took so long to review. i completely forgot I had even opened it. Thanks for your patience. Next time, ping me much sooner! On hold.  — Calvin999 17:37, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

@Calvin999: I've addressed those issues. As for progeny, its her personal children/descendants born with Heraclius. Jaqeli 20:56, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

Oh there seems to be an issue with the date parameter in one of the references at the bottom of the article too.  — Calvin999 20:58, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

@Calvin999: Done. Jaqeli 21:24, 17 October 2015 (UTC)

PAssing. :)  — Calvin999 21:25, 17 October 2015 (UTC)