Talk:Andre Thomas/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 13:50, 6 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• Lead is huge for an article of this size, trim down by at least 30%.
• "execution of the mentally ill." did you say that it was determined that he was mentally ill?
• "Thomas committed the murders of Boren " Thomas killed Boren...
• "is 60 miles from" convert.
• "Despite his disadvantages" domestic disadvantages?
• "became pregnant with a baby " pregnant and gave birth to a baby?
• What's GED?
• "kicked them out of " non-encyclopedic tone.
• "U.S. dollar bill" could link, notorious document.
• "to use Coricidin cold medication recreationally" what does this mean? Is this drug well known for being more than just a cold remedy?
• "walked a few " walked the few.
• "was at work already, but" no need for already.
• "he got home" returned home.
• "faced an all-white jury" you only say a bit later that Thomas was black...
• "convicted of capital murder and" link capital murder.
• Date formats in the references should be consistent.

That's it for me for now. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:46, 6 September 2021 (UTC)

Thank you for this feedback. I think I have addressed your points. Let me know if the lead is short enough. I reworded things a bit in the process of condensing the lead. Regarding the Coricidin abuse, yes, unfortunately this is an over-the-counter medicine that can be abused, often by adolescents, to induce feelings of euphoria or "disconnection". At first I didn't think to look for a WP entry specific to this issue, but it turns out we do have one on the recreational use of dextromethorphan (one of the ingredients in Coricidin), so I added a wikilink. Larry Hockett (Talk) 00:26, 7 September 2021 (UTC)