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Talk:1900 Galveston hurricane/GA1

< Talk:1900 Galveston hurricane
Latest comment: 5 years ago by 12george1 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:21, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply


  • The infobox says "equivalent to $1066 million in 2018, adjusted for inflation" - insert joke about the present losing a billion dollars over a decade, so that's why you don't say billion here?
  • Most of these deaths occurred in the vicinity of Galveston after storm surge inundated the entire island with 8 to 12 ft (2.4 to 3.7 m) of water. Something about the wording could be better. --> Most of these deaths occurred near Galveston, Texas, after storm surge inundated the coastline with 8 to 12 ft (2.4 to 3.7 m) of water. Something like that?
  • The Gulf of Mexico shoreline of Galveston island was subsequently raised by 17 ft (5.2 m) and a 10 mi (16 km) seawall erected. - link to the seawall
  • The first observed hurricane of the season, the tropical cyclone was first detected by a ship well east of the Windward Islands on August 27. - avoid the two "first"s. I would rewrite this to put the "first hurricane of the season" part last. Maybe start the paragraph - "On August 27, 1900, a ship east of the Windward Islands detected a tropical cyclone, the first observed during the annual season.
  • Good note about date/timing
  • Did the hurricane dissipate near Iceland, or were they last observed there?
  • "It is likely that much of South Florida experienced tropical storm force winds, though mostly minor damage occurred overall." - I'd avoid the "overall", or at least specify minor damage in Florida.
  • "Hurricane force winds and storm surge inundated portions of southern Louisiana, though no significant structural damage or fatalities were reported" - again, add "in the state" or something
  • "Further north" - farther. I think I point this out in every GAN :P Far is distance. Further is to emphasize a point.
  • "and because wireless telegraphy was in its infancy, these reports were not available until the ships put in at a harbor" --> maybe "ships docked at harbor"?
  • The lead mentions the trajectory through the Caribbean Sea and DR landfall, but not in the MH. How come? Likewise, you mention Gulf of St. Lawrence there, but not in the MH.
  • "Assumption became fact as the official government reports stated, wrongly, that the storm was traveling northeast in the Atlantic." - who said this quote? And is there a way to say it without the quote?
  • The storm was reported to be north of Key West, Florida, on September 6, - you end with a comma, but it looks like the end of the sentence. Also... was that still the case after reanalysis? The track looks like it goes west of the island.
  • I had actually thought about getting rid of that sentences for that very reason. Apparently the storm was (at the time) thought to have made landfall in southwest Florida. So obviously this is inaccurate. The source also does not name a specific ship or anything like that. Should I maybe just mention that the storm bypassed Key West on that date?--12george1 (talk) 03:43, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • In the early morning hours of September 7, the Weather Bureau office in New Orleans, issued a report of heavy damage along the Louisiana and Mississippi coasts. Details of the storm were not widespread; damage to telegraph lines limited communication. The Weather Bureau's central office in Washington, D.C., ordered storm warnings raised from Pensacola, Florida, to Galveston. - why is this is in the MH? Ditto The Galveston Weather Bureau office raised its double square flags; a hurricane warning was in effect.
  • due to tensions remaining in the aftermath of the Spanish–American War - "remaining" seems unnecessary
  • "To them, the storm appeared to have begun a long turn or 'recurve' that would take it first into Florida, then drive it northeast toward an eventual exit into the Atlantic." - who said this, and why is the quote in the article instead of written into your own words?
  • In the preps section: On the morning of September 8, the swells continued despite only partly cloudy skies. - this feels odd, separate from what came earlier in the paragraph. You should move the forecasting stuff either to the first paragraph or its own one. But also, you mention the swells continuing, but never mentioned them in the first place. It's just odd.
  • The Cline controversy seems a little clunky. Too many "claimed", "called into question", "Supporters point." IDK, it just seems off. Maybe I've been staring at my computer too long. I'll pick this review up later, but good job so far. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:21, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
More
  • " and up to 2.6 in (66 mm) of rainfall recorded on the island." - is it "up to", or was 2.6 in of rainfall actually recorded? Likewise "up to 12.58 in (320 mm) in a 24‑hour period"
  • Heavy rainfall fell - avoid "fall fell"
  • Watch out for overlinking in Impact section
  • because the city had "weathered them all - again, quotes
  • It was actually a quote from the author of the article. Also kinda contradicts Cline's logic about how a strong hurricane wouldn't strike Galveston. So I decided it would be better to just delete it--12george1 (talk) 19:18, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • The hurricane left "considerable damage" in the Palm Beach area. - according to?
  • Winds and storm surge caused severe damage to rice crops, with at least 25% destroyed. - statewide?
  • Two men went missing and were presumed to have drowned after sailing away from Fort St. Philip and not returning in a timely manner.[51] However, they were both later found alive. - this seems misleading. The presumption of drowning occurred 119 years ago, so I don't think that's needed. Maybe say they were initially presumed drowned until they turned up? I'm not sure here.
  • with many cities reportedly nearly or completely losing all buildings or homes - awkwardly written
  • Streets were littered with branches from shade trees - so not just any tree, but a tree that gives shade? As in... most trees?
  • Modern estimates later placed the storm's central pressure at 930.9 mbar (27.49 inHg), but this was subsequently adjusted to the storm's official lowest measured central pressure of 935.7 mbar (27.63 inHg). - why even mention the 930.9 mbar if it was also adjusted? Because it was so long ago, "modern" can be any time since the 1950s. It just seems like a bit too much detail for the average reader to care, and I think it would be stronger just sticking with the official lowest pressure of 935.7 mbar. Also, what was the basis for that pressure reading? That could go in the MH.
  • The storm destroyed about 7,000 buildings of all uses in Galveston alone - I feel like this should be mentioned when you mentioned the destroyed houses. Have this sentence lead into "which included 3,636 destroyed homes."
  • I'm not a fan of mentioning the three different damage totals. The initial $25 million (from 118 years ago) lends well to the final damage total of $30 million by Isaac Cline, so I don't think both need to be mentioned. Then you can mention the breakdown in damage, which is rather useful to have.
  • Because of the destruction of the bridges to the mainland and the telegraph lines, no word of the city's destruction was able to reach the mainland. - I'd add "at first" or something to end. Eventually the word got out
  • A canvas conducted by the Morrison and Fourmy Company - canvas?
  • It is believed 8,000 people—20% of the island's population—had lost their lives. - all on Galveston?
  • The extratropical remnants of the cyclone re-intensified to the equivalence of a tropical storm and continued to strengthen - that's not exactly true. The hurricane weakened into a TS before moving into a TS, and then a TD over Kansas. Maybe mention the restrengthening after you mention the Oklahoma part?
  • "A long bridge, along with a few train cars, were swept away." - where, and how long?
  • The city of Marshall experienced "the severest windstorm of the season" - according to?
  • 5 mi (8.0 km) - rounding
  • Losses Crystal Beach reached about $5,000. -grammar
  • with reportedly "hardly an apple left on a tree in the entire state" - according to?
  • Prior to the storm, the apple crop was considered the largest in years. - seems unnecessary
  • A new bathhouse at Harvard University lost a portion of its tin roof and its copper cornices. - the "new" seems unnecessary
  • Any Maine impacts?
  • In Ontario, tides in Lake Ontario ranged from 8 to 10 ft (2.4 to 3.0 m) above normal, wreaked havoc on vessels, beaching several boats, destroying a number of boats, and setting some others adrift. - grammar is a bit off.
  • Peak winds reached 49–77 mph (79–124 km/h) in Toronto - if you're saying peak winds, why mention the low end of the range?
  • The majority of loss of life in Canada occurred due to numerous shipwrecks off the coasts of Saint Pierre and Miquelon, Newfoundland, and Prince Edward Island. The overall death toll in Canada is estimated to be between 52 and 232, making this at least the eighth deadliest hurricane to affect Canada. The large discrepancy between the fatality figures is due to the fact that many people were reported missing in Saint Pierre and Miquelon - since St. Pierre and Miquelon isn't part of Canada, the deaths there shouldn't affect the Canadian death toll, right? Or, could you mention the death toll less the St. Pierre and Miquelon total?
  • I'm not sure if I can. The source says, "The Galveston hurricane was responsible for 52–232 deaths in Canada, mostly due to damage sustained by fishing and shipping vessels off Newfoundland and Prince Edward Island. The large discrepancy between confirmed and unconfirmed deaths is almost entirely in the numbers of missing people from St. Pierre." So both totals are combined--12george1 (talk) 19:18, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • The final death toll is not known with certainty, but the most conservative estimate is around 6,000. Most historians believe the loss of life to be in the area of 8,000 with some suggesting as many as 12,000 perished - you already covered this in impact
  • The authorities passed out free whiskey to sustain the distraught men conscripted for the gruesome work of collecting and burning the dead. - nothing is wrong with this sentence except for how harrowing it was. THE FEELS!
  • Reporter Winifred Bonfils, a young journalist working for William Randolph Hearst, was the first reporter on the line at the hurricane's ground zero in Galveston. I'd remove the first "reporter"
  • Within three weeks, cotton was again being shipped out of the port. - within three weeks of the storm, or from September 12?
  • The Galveston city government was reorganized into a commission government - when?
  • including the 3,000 short tons (2,700 t) St. Patrick's Church. - grammar?
  • Maybe I was celebrating St. Patrick's Day? No wait... blame the template! :P

That should be it for the review. Great work on this very important storm, User:12george1. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 16:04, 9 May 2019 (UTC)Reply

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