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Wikipedia:WikiProject Articles for creation/Help desk/Archives/2014 June 10

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June 10

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00:29:29, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Microbilo

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Microbilo (talk) 00:29, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

My Article submission has been rejected three times and the raised issues has been raised has been resolved to the best of my ability. I haven't submitted it for a 4th review. So, I need help from anyone that can edit the entire draft and include only verifiable sources and make any further corrections they think that's necessary. Can Only one referencing 'Poker Knave' which seems to be a secondary source be accepted as a single referencing? The link to Newpaper publication 'The Sun Newspaper UK' is a secondary source, but only allows those with paid subscription to have full detailed access to it's publications. I grant anyone who's knowledgeable of the system to give it a beneficial edit and proper moderations. All contributions are welcomed and appreaciated. Thanks for your help. Microbilo (talk) 00:29, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Microbilo. Perhaps someone else can help you improve this submission further; however just as a side note, the Sun(('s}} website being behind what we call a Wikipedia:PAYWALL is not an issue at all, and does not directly affect its suitability as a reliable source. (Though some would perhaps argue that the Sun itself is not in fact a reliable source, especially for material about living people.) Arthur goes shopping (talk) 06:41, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Please also note that because you have asked this question more than once, there are additional replies further up the page, in the other location where you asked. Arthur goes shopping (talk) 06:42, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

01:20:17, 10 June 2014 review of submission by JSOR11

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Hi, I just want to know what is wrong with this article and how I can fix it- I have had other editors look at it from the tea house and they gave it the ok! I am not sure what is wrong- please I would like to have this article posted!

Sincerely, JSOR11 (talk) 01:20, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@JSOR11: I told you what was wrong when I reviewed it: "Fails WP:NPOL, WP:GNG, and WP:ANYBIO. Please read WP:RS and WP:42." Instead of trying to advertise your candidate ahead of the election, wait for her to win and then write the article with the following news coverage. Chris Troutman (talk) 06:44, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

06:19:13, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Etiqa-my

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Hello. I'm not sure what's wrong with the article. I want to create a wiki page about Etiqa. I've checked through the website and there are no page about Etiqa yet. Please advise. What can i do to improve.


Etiqa-my (talk) 06:19, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Etiqa-my. There are two big problems with your draft. First, it does not establish the importance of the subject by providing references to independent reliable sources that talk in detail about the subject. For example these could be newspaper reports or financial industry magazine articles. The huge listing of awards that you have included is not very useful for this purpose because it is not at all clear that any of these awards are significant and well known in themselves. Ideally, you could provide your references to sources as inline citations - see Wikipedia:Referencing for beginners - and the facts stated in your draft should be based on what the sources say about the subject.
The second big problem is that your draft reads very much like an advertisement or like what a marketing agency hired by Etiqa might say about how they want to represent the brand. So for example, none of "performance with conscience, crystal clear, hand-in-hand, and rock solid" are clear neutral quantifiable facts such as one would expect to find in an encyclopedia. (Another aspect of this problem is that you cannot copy and paste material created by the company into Wikipedia, for copyright reasons.)
Perhaps one way to help partly resolve these problems would be to focus on writing about the company and the business, rather than about the brand. I see there is already a Wikipedia article Maybank - perhaps Etiqa should merely be a redirect to that article?
Please read our page about Wikipedia:Conflict of interest, particularly the part about promotional usernames; you may need to change your username. Arthur goes shopping (talk) 06:33, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks alot for the reply. I'll be doing some changes and re-submitback the article. Yes, Etiqa is Maybank sub company for Insurance and Takaful. Once the article is approved, will get Maybank to relink to Etiqa.

Hi there. How can i insert the sidebar. For me to put the Etiqa logo image, etc. similiar like Maybank. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Etiqa-my (talk • contribs) 07:56, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply] 

— Preceding unsigned comment added by 129.194.252.40 (talk) 06:44, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
For that you want Template:Infobox company. I do really think, though, that you would have more success improving and expanding the Maybank article, rather than trying to create a new article to replace it. Arthur goes shopping (talk) 09:02, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

07:00:35, 10 June 2014 review of submission by A1unlimited

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The first rejection comment was that the article is not in neutral tone, and the source Abode Magazine is impenetrable and would be better to go the page number. I explained that the link is a digital issue of the magazine and you have to flip to the page number that I stated, or maybe just delete that source. Then the reviewer replied he must have missed the page number and not to delete the source if it is a good source. So I revised the article in a neutral tone, copying an existing similar article in Wiki. Still rejected stating I used peacock terms. I can't see any. Please can you help me. Thanks. A1unlimited (talk) 07:00, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

A1unlimited (talk) 07:00, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The submission is only four lines long a stub, so how it can twice be failed for WP:NPOV or writing style is incomprehensible to me. Moving on, I don't believe that Maristela meets the notability requirements at WP:ARTIST and I don't believe the existing sources give the level of significant coverage required to satisfy WP:ANYBIO. A lack of demonstrated notability is the problem here, rather than writing style. You need to edit the submission to explain why Maristela is notable enough to meet the criteria at WP:ARTIST/WP:ANYBIO. Bellerophon talk to me 09:02, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

09:26:31, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Stats sanx

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Hi, My draft data editing was rejected. The comment given was the subject already exist. But I could not find anything on wikipedia which talks about theory of editing survey data. It is not editing in the conventional way which means editing a book or an essay. The topic I wanted to create is what National Statistical Institutes use to edit their survey data that they collect. The page i was pointed to to make my edit was Data editing which is a page on editing audio and visual files. What I wanted to create was a page on statistical editing which involve numbers on a spreadsheet and how to determine whether these are believable or not and whether they will give good statistical estimates for e.g., the proportion of people in UK who have a total wealth of greater than 200 million pounds. Can you please look at my page and give me constructive ideas about how to improve it so that it can be added as a wikipedia page Draft:Data editing Thank you Stats Sanx Stats sanx (talk) 09:26, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The submission relies on a single source (Waal). We need to see that there are other sources that discuss Statistical Data editing in order to give a balanced viewpoint. You need to find a couple of other sources that discuss the subject. Bellerophon talk to me 11:15, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

10:32:04, 10 June 2014 review of draft by 58.179.34.40

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58.179.34.40 (talk) 10:32, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Your draft is at Draft:Elizabeth Martin Artist. Newcastle New asouth Wales. However, it is not appropriate to post the summary of your PhD thesis on Wikipedia; Wikipedia is not for this type of research. In any case, the draft as submitted does not contain references to independent reliable sources that establish the notability of the subject, as required by Wikipedia:General notability guideline. (A more specific guideline for creative artists is at Wikipedia:CREATIVE.) Arthur goes shopping (talk) 10:52, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

12:14:21, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Golddog9

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Golddog9 (talk) 12:14, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I've typed up an article Draft:Seafest. However for some reason nothing comes up when I preview the page. It has been typed just like it was in my sandbox and everything worked fine, just nothing appears when i'm creating an article.— Preceding unsigned comment added by Golddog9 (talk • contribs)

Take a look now; it has been fixed by User:Twsx. Arthur goes shopping (talk) 12:30, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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Submission seems to be at both User:JDUB2310 Please pick one of those two, and work on that one only, then submit it. Please do not post entire article submissions/drafts here. --Demiurge1000 (talk) 16:52, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Jesse Irwin, (born November 29, 1967, in New York City ), is a retired baseball and soccer player. He played both sports in the U.S. and overseas. He appeared in 8 World Series tournaments, in the MABL, winning 6 titles, and in three National championship soccer games, winning 2 titles. High School career: Jesse played baseball, basketball, and soccer at Tamalpais High School, Mill Valley, California, from 1982-85. As a senior, in 1985, he was named as the team's M.V.P., and was selected to the First Team All League as a goalkeeper. In the Summer of 1986, he played soccer for The Dixie Stompers U-19 California State Team, coached by the legendary Stephen Negoesco(Hall of Fame coach, University of San Francisco). The Dixie Stompers lost in the California State Title game 3-2, in Sacramento, California, in August of that same year.

Collegiate Career: In 1986-1987, he would play soccer at the City College of San Francisco, earning M.V.P. honors in 1987, and was selected to the First Team All C.C.S.F. in 1987. In 1989-90, he played baseball at Pierce College, Tacoma, Washington, earning a selection to the First Team All P.W.A.C.C., with a Batting Average of .440, 5HR's, 31RBI's, 22 Stolen Bases.

Professional and Amateur Career: He would have brief stints with The Houston Astros and The Philadelphia Phillies, playing Instructional baseball from 1990-92. In 1994, he played both baseball and soccer in The Netherlands. Signing a contract with The Diemen Survivors of Holland's Hoofklasse Baseball League, winning the Dutch Championship in 1995. He played soccer for The Black Sheep (Zwarte Schappe), in Holland's third division, playing for former Dutch National Team player, Johnny Rep (team coach). He played briefly in the Mexican Winter League for the now defunct Astros de Monclova, where he appeared in 37 games, finishing with a Batting Average of .298. He returned back to the U.S. in 1996, playing soccer for The Greek American's Soccer Club (San Francisco), in the Major Division of the California Premier Soccer League. Winning National Titles in 1996, 1998. He would win 6 World Series Titles with The Bay Area Rockies and The Chicago Madbirds of The MABL/MSBL, in 2001, 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007. He was selected to the BAMSBL Hall of fame in 2015.

Coaching Career: In 2002, he was the goalkeeper coach for The Tamalpais High School Soccer Team, winning the N.C.S (State Championship), the first in school history. He coached the College of Marin Mariner's baseball team from 2005-2009, as an infielder and bench coach. He coached The Marin Merchant's of The Sacramento Rural League(Independent League), in 2009, 2010. — Preceding unsigned comment added by JDUB2310 (talk • contribs) 15:20, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

15:32:35, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Montereymills

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My article has been rejected yet another time due not being adequately supported by reliable sources. I was sure to use reliable sources in this article and non-bias as well. I utilized articles that were published by textile based web sites such as Manta, American Brush Manufacturers Association, Yarns and Fibers, and Knitting Industry. Please advise on how I can revise this article so that it can be approved for publication.

Thank you, Christie

Montereymills (talk) 15:32, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • I see two principal problems with your article. Firstly, although you have added sources, they look promotional in nature, like a press release. They don't seem to be somebody who independently wanted to write about Monterey Mills without any prompting to do so. One of the sources, the Southern Press one, is a dead link. The second problem is that the language has far too much puffery and promotional terms, such as the closing sentence, " Monterey has grown and matured into an innovative and highly respected company and can product higher density fabric than anyone in the world." We need articles to be written in a neutral and partisan tone. I had a look for sources, but I can't see anything that indicates the company is one of thousands of fairly stable businesses, that aren't particularly noteworthy to belong in an encyclopedia. Sorry. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:07, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

15:58:57, 10 June 2014 review of submission by JKrempin

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I made edits in April to the original TeamSupport submission that was denied in October but it doesn't look like the new content has been reviewed. Did I not re-submit it correctly? Please let me know how I can get the new copy submitted for approval. Thank you! JKrempin (talk) 15:58, 10 June 2014 (UTC) JKrempin (talk) 15:58, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@JKrempin - You never resubmitted it, I have now done so on your behalf. Please do not remove any of the reviewing related stuff on the page, your previous edit stripped it all out so I recovered it from an earlier version. Roger (Dodger67) (talk) 16:38, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
@JKrempin: I have reviewed it. I hope I;ve given you a pretty good clue about how to proceed in the review. Fiddle Faddle 16:51, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

16:35:55, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Rantankamus

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Rantankamus (talk) 16:35, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I am requesting assistance. I revised and resubmitted an article for Cheers Elephant.

1. How do I view my revision? The current page for Cheers Elephant does not show my revisions. It does state however that the article is pending review.

2. Can I re-revise the article while review is still pending?

Thank you,

Rantankamus (talk) 16:35, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You probably either forgot to press "Save page" when you improved the draft, or the browser timed out when you pressed it and lost the changes. To avoid this, what it sometimes useful is to copy the draft into a local application such as Notepad, and work on it there, then copy and paste the contents back into your draft. Regarding the article itself, I have seen a lot of band articles, and unless this one has evidence of releasing an album that hit the Billboard charts, it's unlikely to pass. Sorry. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:41, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, you're in luck. I played a Cheese Elephant track to my other half who said, "That's great, why aren't they on Wikipedia?" So I dug out some more reliable sources myself and have given the band their full discography and a few other bits that help cement their notability, so I can pass the review. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 18:12, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Very appreciative of your help! I've added an additional source and did some clean up. - Rantankamus (talk) 21:02, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

22:54:57, 10 June 2014 review of submission by David Condrey

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I've been trying to properly write this page for a while now and it's now been declined twice, I'd hate to abandon my work but I'm at a loss as to what I should do next with it. The first time it was declined the only comment was the default wiki comment related to advertising content so I truncated the article of any content that I thought may be construed as one-sided or non-factual. Today it was reviewed again, same comment. I'd very much appreciate some sort of constructive criticism which I can actually act upon. Also, I just a side note, I used other articles of similar topic as a guide when I started this page because I'd never written a page before and those pages are quite a lot more toned as advertisements than this page. Thank you. David Condrey (talk) 22:54, 10 June 2014 (UTC) David Condrey (talk) 22:54, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello David. I disagree a little with the latest decline reason - to me the key issue here is whether the notability of the organisation is established (though the decline reason provided does also give some links to how that is done). The sources in your draft so far either only have very brief mentions of the organisation, or are interviews so do not really prove notability, or appear to be advertising/promotional material, or do not appear to be reliable sources. Obviously the business has been successful in its region and has also managed some innovative advertising and promotion, but it does not seem to meet our requirement Wikipedia:CORPDEPTH. It may be that a few more sources, particularly material like newspaper coverage, may be enough to push it over the boundary to be enough for an article.
Incidentally it is rarely worth using an existing Wikipedia article as a guide to how to write a new one unless you are confident of its quality. You can find a list of recognised Wikipedia Good Articles about businesses at Wikipedia:Good articles/Social sciences and society#Businesses & organizations. Arthur goes shopping (talk) 06:29, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

23:21:07, June 10, 2014 request for review by DJ DUBAI

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@DJ DUBAI: It has no references, at all. Your subject also fails WP:NBAND. Please read WP:RS, WP:GNG, and WP:ANYBIO. Chris Troutman (talk) 00:37, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

23:23:03, 10 June 2014 review of submission by LEBOLTZMANN2

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Need some help; not a re-review at this time. My article was rejected because it was Original Research. I had not thought of it as original since the information had already been published in a journal. As to research, there is no new information, more of a different presentation of what is already known. So I could use a suggestion as to what sort of chages would make the article not original research. If that is not appropriate, help me understand this perspective. LEBOLTZMANN2 (talk) 23:23, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

23:24:23, 10 June 2014 review of submission by Didibagle

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Didibagle (talk) 23:24, 10 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Hello Didibagle, do you have questions about this draft that we can help you with? Arthur goes shopping (talk) 06:16, 11 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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