Wikipedia:Peer review/Lebanon national football team/archive1

Lebanon national football team

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Hi, as I am looking to nominate this article for FA, it has been suggested to me to start a PR before doing so. With relatively major events happening recently (1. Lebanon's first participation through regular qualification at the AFC Asian Cup; 2. Hassan Maatouk becoming the new national team's top scorer), I thought it was an appropriate time to nominate the article.

Thanks, Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 17:56, 12 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Kosack

Lead

I would use the full name of the AFC in its first use with the abbreviation in brackets directly after. FIFA is more commonly know and the article is at the abbreviation so you may be able to avoid doing the same for that one.
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Lebanon had never qualified for a major competition through qualification (although they hosted the 2000 Asian Cup), however, they reached the main stages via qualification", three uses of qualified/qualification in the same sentence is quite repetitive.
- ~~I have no idea on how to improve this, do you have any ideas?~~ Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 23:42, 3 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Lebanon's main stadium is the Camille Chamoun Sports City Stadium in Beirut, however they also play at other stadiums such as the Saida International Stadium in Sidon", again some repitition here, four uses of stadium in a single sentence.
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

1933–1957: The beginning

"representatives of thirteen associations", what associations were they?
- The website I used as a source (the official Federation website) only states that "representatives of thirteen associations/societies met". Not sure about the nature of such associations, though I assume them to be "sporting associations". Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"Beirut's International team", forgive me if I'm missing something but Beirut is not a country so can't have an international team. Was it simply a representative team?
- The source reads: "And the third game was played on Saturday, January 27, against the International team of Beirut". I would guess it was a sort of "Beirut XI". Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
What are Renaissance athletes?
- The source reads: "A selected team from the Varsity and Renaissance will play the Roumanian team on the following dates". I'm guessing these are denominations for different sections of athletes at the AUB university. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
"with Kamil scoring Lebanon's first official international goal", was Kamil his full name?
- Kamil is his surname, however I couldn't find any other information other than the RSSSF report on the match (unfortunately, all the Lebanese players are listed by surname in that match). Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Just a quick glance over the first two sections to get you started. Also there are a few major points that are prevalent throughout the article that need to be addressed:

Always try to ensure that a paragraph ends with a source, even if the source is included further on in the text. Otherwise it appears to the reader as though the information is unsourced.
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 23:25, 23 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - There are still several paragraphs that end with no reference, the last two of "Failed qualifications and match-fixing" for example. Kosack (talk) 07:35, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 15:46, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Try to avoid very short paragraphs. For example, in the 2006–2014 section you have "The Lebanese team then lost to Uzbekistan 0–1 on the road. In the following match they hosted South Korea in Beirut and led 1–0 until South Korea scored the equalizer in the 97th minute, eliminating Lebanon."
- The problem is that if I were to expand every "short" paragraph we would end up with a boring detailed account of matches played in a certain period. For example, I don't think it's relevant to talk about who scored which goals in all the matches of the third round of qualifications for the World Cup, unless something relevant actually happened. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - All I can say is that short paragraphs comprised of few sentences are certainly frowned upon at FAC. In the Post-Civil War section for example we have seven paragraphs with the number of sentences in each being 2, 2, 3, 3, 2, 3 and 2. This is certainly the worst example of it in the article but there must be a way to knit some of these together. Kosack (talk) 07:22, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:11, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

RetiredDuke raised two very important points at your FAC, the quality of sources in particular will be a major sticking point at FAC so ensure you use sources that are thoroughly reliable.
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 23:38, 23 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Probably don't need all those see also links as most, if not all, are in the main template just below.
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I hope this helps you out, if I find the time I'll try and get back here to help out more if you need it. Good luck. Kosack (talk) 20:21, 12 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack thanks for your input, I highly appreciate it! I have taken care of a couple of issues you have raised, and commented on the rest. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:00, 13 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

"The Lebanese national team disputes their home games in various stadiums throughout the country." I don't think disbutes is the right word here, do you mean distributes?
- Done I miss-translated the Italian "disputare" (meaning "to play", or " to challenge") into "to dispute". I have fixed this. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:15, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
In the recent call-ups section, do we need to link to the current squad when the link barely moves?
- Done I merely copied the section from Belgium's article. I have removed the link. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:15, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The references need to be consistently formatted, I can see various publishers missing and quite a few pages without authors where available (rsssf links for example).
- I will take care of this in the near future. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:15, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]
HawkAussie's point about adding some prose to the competition record still stands.
- Same here, this will be taken care of later on. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 16:15, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

A few more issues to look at. Kosack (talk) 07:35, 6 July 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by HawkAussie

This is probably a good suggestion but maybe have some prose in the Competitive record section of the article as that entire section just seems to be tables which is not a good sign if you want the article to try and get to FA. A good example of this is probably the Belgium national football team which is currently at FA status. Another thing is the duplication links for the squads as you already have those in the tournament section so you won't need them in the previous squad section.
- I have taken care of the previous squad links. As for the prose, I will take care of it later on. Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 00:54, 22 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

These articles also don't have the recent results on this page as this could be a sign of WP:RECENTISM. The statistics section could probably be shrunk to only the top goalscorers and the most capped players with the other sections of the article being moved to a seperate page. I will probably think of more as time goes pass. HawkAussie (talk) 01:43, 19 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Done Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 17:34, 22 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@HawkAussie Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate your input! Nehme₁₄₉₉ (talk) 00:54, 22 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]