Wikipedia:Peer review/Judgment Day (2008)/archive1

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because… I would like to have suggestions be made for the article to try and aim the article to Feature article status. Any comments would be appreciated.

Thanks, --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 20:32, 3 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]


Comments from WillC

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  • I don't think main event needs a link. It is too common a word.--WillC 02:54, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Too much detail on a steel cage match. I would change it too: The main event was fought in a ring surrounded by four sheets of mesh metal in what is called a Steel cage match for the WWE Championship, in which Triple H defeated Randy Orton to retain the championship.--WillC 02:54, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add (PPV) next to the first mention of pay-per-view and then change all of the other pay-per-views to PPV.
  • Add part of the reception to the third paragraph.
I'll finish this later. I'm surprised I got this much done.--WillC 02:54, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:11, 4 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Background
I'll do the Event after these are done.WillC 22:33, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Event
I'll do the aftermath after all of these are done. I believe you should cut down alot of the event section. To a point it doesn't read like a play by play and more of just notable point report. Link all the names of the moves that are in the article instead the description. That will help clam the sea of blue.WillC 23:28, 12 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Aftermath and Reception

SRX's Comments

edit

Lead

  • Seven professional wrestling matches were featured on the event's card. - This should be placed as the first sentence in the second paragraph of the lead
    • Check.
  • Main event is not as common as most people believe, so a link will help.
  • The main event was fought in a ring surrounded by four sheets of mesh metal, dubbed as a Steel cage match, for the WWE Championship, in which Triple H defeated Randy Orton to retain the championship. - this is actually too much OOU for the lead, how about In the main event, WWE Champion Triple H defeated Randy Orton to retain the championship in a ring surrounded by four walls of mesh metal, called a Steel Cage.
    • Check.
  • Since you are using brand differentiating in the lead, the above sentence should reflect that by saying it featured Raw wrestlers.
    • Example?
  • The Undertaker won the match by countout, but did not win the title since championships cannot be decided by countout or disqualification. - since sounds awkward, how about because
    • Check.
  • The predominant match on the SmackDown brand was Edge versus The Undertaker for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship. - from not on
    • Check.
  • The primary match on the ECW brand was a tag team match for the WWE Tag Team Championship between champions, The Miz and John Morrison, and Kane and CM Punk, which Miz and Morrison won to retained the championship. --> In the prime match from the ECW brand, WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison defeated Kane and CM Punk to retain the titles.
    • Check.
  • Judgment Day received 252,000 pay-per-view buys, up on the Judgment Day 2007 event figure of 242,000 buys. --> Judgment Day received 252,000 pay-per-view buys, and was instrumental in helping WWE increase its pay-per-view revenue by $21.9 million compared to the previous year.
    • In addition, is the total # of ticket buys not available? Plus, no need to link to the USD because the event is American.
      • No, check the quarterly results.
  • When the event was released on DVD, it reached the third peak position on Billboard's DVD Sales Chart. --> When the event was released on DVD, it peaked the third position on Billboard's DVD Sales Chart.
    • Check.
  • If I were you, I would find other receptions from other websites, it doesn't matter if they are unreliable because we just want receptions, so in that way in the lead you can sum up what all of them said.SRX 15:27, 20 December 2008 (UTC)
  • The Undertaker won the match by countout, but did not win the title because championships cannot be decided by countout or disqualification. - this is only in WWE, so specify that.
  • Featured matches on the undercard included Shawn Michaels versus Chris Jericho and John Cena versus John "Bradshaw" Layfield (JBL). - it was discouraged to use "featured matches." Use the example I gave at Over the Edge (1999)'s lead, which had the matches that had more promotion than others. Since this is a PPV about brands, see Survivor Series (2007)'s lead about the matches, as it provides a good example on how to word this section.
  • Seven professional wrestling matches, performances with pre-determined outcomes between wrestlers with fictional personalities that are portrayed as real, were featured on the event's card. The buildup to the matches and the scenarios that took place before, during, and after the event were planned by WWE's creative staff. The event starred wrestlers from the Raw, SmackDown and ECW brands – storyline expansions of the promotion where employees are assigned to wrestling brands under the WWE banner. Wrestlers portrayed either a villainous or hero gimmick, as they followed a series of events which generally built tension, leading to a wrestling match. - use the prose I used at Survivor Series (2007), as it is the most updated version of this intro.--SRX 17:56, 21 December 2008 (UTC)

Comments from WillC part two Like I said, I was going to wait a week or so and re-read it. I'm about to start my second review.--WillC 05:02, 31 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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