Wikipedia:Peer review/Islamic architecture/archive1

Islamic architecture

I have extened the article and added pictures (to once what have been a dull article) in a massive construction work on the article. I have nominated the article on the WikiProject Achitecture but no-one (apart from me) supported the article to be extened, therefore I extened the article by myself, added more information, merged some articles to the Islamic architecture, added a gallery and I have added sources. And now I want someone...anyone to read the article so it can become a featured article. Thank you!

Abdullah Geelah 19:24, 9 September 2006 (UTC)

Very nice work. Not heavily referenced enough for a good article, but well laid out. Policy wanks may object to the gallery. You've taken on a huge subject in effective summary form. Durova 02:39, 12 September 2006 (UTC)

I really like this article and think it has great potential. A few comments:-

• The Lead needs expanding.
• The first couple of paragraphs after the lead are a bit too list driven. I'd generally put lists at the end of the article and begin with prose summary style.
• You'll need to thoroughly reference the article, preferably with in-line citations (This is the bit everyone hates, but it'll need to be done to get GA or FA status).--Mcginnly | Natter 10:41, 14 September 2006 (UTC)

You need to remove the gallery. Wikicommons is for image galleries. There are plenty of pictures already. You should expand inline refs throughout the article, and there is a problem with exiting inline citations. Medvedenko 04:10, 24 September 2006 (UTC)

This is a very nice article. Please remove the gallery, as Medvedenko has said. Many of the sections (especially the lead) are too short. The templates and images alongside them create gaps in the text. The lead talks too much about Persian architecture; spend that space discussing what Islamic architecture is, not what it isn't. The last sentence of the section on Fatimid architecture doesn't make sense. The images are very nice. NatusRoma | Talk 03:59, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

Very pretty. At first it looks like there is too much images in the article, but it's really the paragraphs that are too short. --SidiLemine 11:43, 30 September 2006 (UTC)

I think the text needs a bit of work to remove some heavy repitition of words that makes it seem to "labour the point". For example:

One of the first civilizations that Islam came into contact with during and after its birth was that of Persia. The eastern banks of the Tigris and Euphrates was where the capital of the Persian empire lay during the 7th century. Hence the proximity often led early Islamic architects to not just borrow, but adopt the traditions and ways of the fallen Persian empire. Islamic architecture borrows heavily from Persian architecture and in many ways can be called an extension and further evolution of Persian architecture

There is a repeating of "borrow from... Persian". Really, the last sentence is unnecessary. This pattern occurs in a number of places.

QuiteUnusual 20:18, 2 October 2006 (UTC)

The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question.

• Per WP:CONTEXT and WP:MOSDATE, months and days of the week generally should not be linked. Years, decades, and centuries can be linked if they provide context for the article.
• Per WP:WIAFA, Images should have concise captions.
• Per WP:MOSNUM, there should be a non-breaking space -   between a number and the unit of measurement. For example, instead of 18mm, use 18 mm, which when you are editing the page, should look like: 18 mm.
• Per WP:MOS#Headings, headings generally should not repeat the title of the article. For example, if the article was Ferdinand Magellan, instead of using the heading ==Magellan's journey==, use ==Journey==.
• Please alphabetize the interlanguage links.
• There are a few occurrences of weasel words in this article- please observe WP:AWT. Certain phrases should specify exactly who supports, considers, believes, etc., such a view. For example,
  • arguably
  • correctly
  • is considered
  • might be weasel words, and should be provided with proper citations (if they already do, or are not weasel terms, please strike this comment).
• Watch for redundancies that make the article too wordy instead of being crisp and concise. (You may wish to try Tony1's redundancy exercises.)
  • Vague terms of size often are unnecessary and redundant - “some”, “a variety/number/majority of”, “several”, “a few”, “many”, “any”, and “all”. For example, “All pigs are pink, so we thought of a number of ways to turn them green.”
• Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that the it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 2a.

You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, Ruhrfisch 14:17, 13 October 2006 (UTC)

• P.S. The footnotes can be found here for now. Ruhrfisch 14:52, 13 October 2006 (UTC)