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Wikipedia:Peer review/David Lovering/archive1

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David Lovering

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As with Joey Santiago, I'm looking to take this to featured status soon. Any comments on comprehensiveness, arrangement or quality of prose welcome. (Note I haven't been able to locate a free image, so suggestions on that front welcome.) CloudNine (talk) 19:29, 5 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Although you have probably already considered this, there are a few semi-decent free images that feature Lovering on Flickr [1]. Unfortunately, there aren't any clear shots focusing specifically on Lovering; you may want to crop him out of an image of an ovation for the lead, like this. --Brandt Luke Zorn (talk) 00:27, 9 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]
I've looked through those, and they aren't really of sufficient quality (esp. the ovation ones) for readers to clearly see Lovering. CloudNine (talk) 13:17, 10 December 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Review by WesleyDodds

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Somewhat slight--particularly in the Early Life section--compared to the other Pixies band members articles you've written, but he's the drummer so what can you do. Pretty good overall; there's some grammer cleanup that needs to be done but hopefully I'll get around to doing that myself. A few specific comments:
  • Indeed. I've submitted in a less-complete state than my earlier projects, as a kind of experiment. It still needs copyediting for flow and other things. The Early life section (and others) is about as comprehensive as possible unfortunately; the oral history of the band doesn't cover Lovering's early life, for example. Could you perhaps take a look in the Spin article when you have the time?
  • "Active since 1985, he is best known as the drummer for the alternative rock band Pixies." Try "He is best known as the drummer for the alternative rock band the Pixies, which he joined in 1985".
  • Done. I wasn't sure about that sentence, as he did drum in local bands before 1985.
  • Write "Pixies bandmate Joey Santiago's band The Martinis" in the lead.
  • Done. I think I removed it initially because "Pixies bandmate(s)" appears twice in the lead.
  • You don't need the reference for Cracker in the infobox anymore.
  • Done. Moved it into prose.
  • You link to Frank Black/Black Francis a number of times in the article.
  • Hopefully I've fixed this.
  • Two sentences in the last paragraph of the Scientific Phenomenalist section start with "He also". Rephrase.
  • Fixed. I've rephrased quite a bit of that section.
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