Wikipedia:Peer review/Ada Winifred Weekes Baker/archive1

Ada Winifred Weekes Baker

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch • Watch peer review

This peer review discussion is closed.

I've listed this article for peer review to check on structure, grammar and to check on its overall quality. It is my good faith belief it is complete, anything missing I consider to be ephemera, however I am not against people arguing that I’ve missed something!

In particular, I’m not clear about the title. I suspect it should be "Ada Baker" only and the disambig page is wrong, with a “for any article about Ada Bakker, see Ada Bakker”, but I’m not certain...

Thanks, Chris.sherlock (talk) 16:40, 22 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by User: shaidar cuebiyar

First up, an awesome effort! There's a lot of work here and I'll work through it slowly (sorry!): generally from top to bottom. Although you haven't said so, I'm assuming you're heading for GAN or FAC. In any case, all the best, whatever you choose.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:07, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and Lead

Add a Template:Distinguish hat-note referring to the similarly named Ada Bakker, before taking over the dab page for this artist. You could add another hat-note at the other article to lead back here.
Consider using Template:Infobox musical artist
If sticking with current infobox, where is the spouse name? Although not divorced the couple appear to have been separated from early 1890s, certainly by 1908. Furthermore, there's no mention that he died in 1937.04:45, 6 October 2020 (UTC)
At, other–names: why is Madame considered to be a name? This is a term of respect.
For Lead: reword before moving to Sydney > before returing to Sydney
Delete POV, e.g. "successful", "influential"
Del long-winded, e.g. "what is now", "where she reestablished herself"
Del inaccurate/redundant terms, e.g. "Sydney-based", "only a few weeks"
- For the later, AuB has "Ada worked until she was 82", which occurred in December 1948. More than "a few weeks"
Del double spaces between sentences.
Shouldn't marriage and separation be mentioned in the Lead?

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 02:07, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Early life...

Why August and not December? (see infobox and AuB)
AuB has "ninth child of..." Should be mentioned.
Her mother died on 18 March 1885, (see here).
Was her father also known as a hotelier or licensee? See ref [2]. Died 3 July 1900 (see here)
Clarify she started music classes Missing a word: taking? teaching?
First time its used, wL [[Australian pound|£]]
I noticed that Mr C H Hall was also a singer in Wagga Wagga (see here)
How do we know that Baker married after becoming pregnant?
Del "It later came to light that", "appeared to have" and "rather": as superfluous.05:40, 6 October 2020 (UTC)
How do we know that Baker's brother threatened to "break his head"? From my reading it seems Baker herself threatened Hall with getting her brother to beat him.
Check dates dmy e.g. October 25, 1890
Reconcile "Between 1891 and 1893 ..." with "playing lead for four years in ..." The given span is three years.
A bit vague: "Many years later" try "Decades later" or "In 1936" or similar.

shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 04:45, 6 October 2020 (UTC)more to follow.[reply]

How is February 1891 after she returned from India/China?
that Charles had been > that Hall had been. Generally avoid over familiarity.
Ada and Charles never > Baker and Hall never
At the end of this section, should state that they had separated and that Hall died in 1937.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 05:40, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Move to Western...

Add in something like , with Baker aboard, before Rickards'
and stayed in Perth. > and remained.
established herself > worked Simpler.
Del 's time in Perth was not without drama, as in December 1898 she > Baker, in December 1989,
AusEng e.g. centered
Change with the Gardens > with the proprietors
Del "she claimed ": already included under assertion, earlier in that sentence.
Check spelling, e.g. Kalgoolie
Del "had evidently": simpler.
Would an average reader understand what is meant by "a Coolgardie or Kalgoorlie reason"?
, as the only reason > , determined that the only reason clarify.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 06:26, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Return to Sydney

Trim in the late part of 1907 > in late 1907
Change one of the two "with her first concert being held" in nearby sentences.
Del "Friday": day of week
How is Madame a title? How is this the "the earliest reference" to same? This ref only cites her as "Miss Ada Baker". The earliest known press reference to "Madame Ada Baker" appears to be here. There may have been earlier ones.
Fix extra space: [[British Red Cross |British Red Cross Society]]
Replace Madame Ada Baker's Pymble Cecilia Ladles' Choir > [it]
Trim and a number of other charities > and other charities
In the last ¶: remove unnecessary in from brackets before year of a performance.

More to follow.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 09:09, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Later life

Remove "deeply"
Replace 2nd mention of "Music Teachers' Alliance" with "alliance"
Need a ref tab for "after she was injured in a motor vehicle accident."
Check the ref for her street: I can't find it in there.

I've had a go. Enjoy.shaidar cuebiyar (talk) 11:55, 6 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]