Wikipedia

Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Rachelle Ann Go/archive1

< Wikipedia:Featured article candidates
The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by Gog the Mild via FACBot (talk) 2 May 2024 [1].

Rachelle Ann Go

edit
Nominator(s): Pseud 14 (talk) 01:10, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

After previously working on a Filipino music BLP of a band, here's my next work on singer and actress Rachelle Ann Go. She began her career in pop music after winning a talent show in the Philippines, before transitioning to musical theatre. Some of her earlier roles on stage include Ariel from The Little Mermaid and Jane Porter from Tarzan. She had her international breakthrough portraying a hardened bargirl in the 2014 West End revival of Miss Saigon, reprising the part on Broadway in 2017. She followed this with more prominent roles on West End, playing Fantine in Les Misérables and Eliza Schuyler in Hamilton. Constructive criticism, in any form and from anyone, will be appreciated. Happy to address your comments and thanks to all who take the time to review. Pseud 14 (talk) 01:10, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from ZooBlazer

edit

Saving a spot. -- ZooBlazer 18:21, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • "Go then competed at the 2004 Shanghai Music Festival and the 2005 Astana Song Festival, each winning the Silver Prize and Best Song" --> Needs a little rewording. It doesn't make it sound like she won.
I've tweaked it a bit for clarity. Hopefully that reads better. Happy to change if still ambiguous.
  • "Go's father raised her to pursue musical interests and would encourage her to perform in front of a crowd" --> Go's father raised her to pursue musical interests and encouraged her to perform in front of crowds
Done
  • Link bachelor's degree
Done
  • "where she later advanced as one of the ten grand finalists" --> this might just be a personal preference, so feel free to ignore if you disagree, but what about "where she would advance as one of the ten grand finalists"
Done as suggested.
  • 'featured vocals on a cover "Love of My Life"' --> featured vocals on a cover of "Love of My Life"
Thanks for catching this. Done
  • "The track list initially contained songs Go had written, but decided against including it" --> this refers to the unreleased songs, correct? "...songs Go had written, but she decided against including them"
That is right. I've revised per your suggestion.
  • Link DVD
  • "a concert staged at the Music Museum on October 26, 2012" --> The paragraph starts with "Go began 2012", so you could probably just make the date October 26 without the year
Agreed. Done.
  • Link R&B in its first use
If this the R&B singer Alicia Keys (I think), I've linked it now.
  • She also considers Patti LuPone as one" --> Start the sentence with Go to avoid any confusion as the previous sentence was about what Salonga said
Good point. Done
  • "Early in her career, Go's singing style has drawn comparisons to Carey" --> drew comparisons
Done
  • Unlink Celine Dion from the influences section as it is a DUPLINK
Unlinked

That's all from me. Another great article from you. -- ZooBlazer 17:42, 30 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@ZooBlazer: thanks very much for your review. All comments actioned and addressed. Let me know if I might have missed anything. Thank you for sparing your time. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:09, 30 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Looks good to me. Happy to support! Good luck the rest of the way with this nom. -- ZooBlazer 22:20, 30 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Image/media review - passes

edit
  • Both images are properly licensed, have alt text, and use makes sense in the article.
  • There's one sound sample. It is under 10% of the full song, properly licensed, and its use fits the article.

I'll be back with prose comments later, but I did the image review and found no issues, so it passes. -- ZooBlazer 18:21, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for doing the image review, and appreciate your time in having a look. Pseud 14 (talk) 18:30, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

edit
  • "performed rock-influenced covers in the live album" => "performed rock-influenced covers on the live album"
Done
  • "eponymous brand of bridal line" => "eponymous brand of bridal wear"
Done
  • "were impressed of the overall production" => "were impressed with the overall production"
Done
  • "Described as a "hodgepodge" of wide-ranging global influences, Go again employed" - it (presumably) wasn't Go who was described as a hodgepodge. Presumably it was the album that was described in that way?
Oh right, I see where my error is. Thanks for catching that. I've revised it so that it begins with The album was described as ..., and Go again..
  • "Go recorded "Paano" for the compilation album GV25" - album title should be in italics
Thanks for catching this too. Done
  • "Critics were generally enthusiastic with the depth of her characterization" => "Critics were generally enthusiastic about the depth of her characterization"
Done
  • "While for her cover album Falling in Love" => "For her cover album Falling in Love"
Done
  • "and has sang "Butterfly" and "Never Too Far" in one of her first headlining shows" => "and sang "Butterfly" and "Never Too Far" in one of her first headlining shows"
Done
  • "A reviewer from The Philippine Star has characterized her debut album as" => "A reviewer from The Philippine Star characterized her debut album as"
Done
  • "As of 2020, they reside" - 2020 was four years ago, so if no more up-to-date info is available this should be "As of 2020, they resided"
That is correct, they still live here. Done as suggested.
Thank you for your helpful review ChrisTheDude. All comments have been actioned. Let me know if I might have missed anything. And thanks for the edits you did a while back on instances that require BE'ing. Pseud 14 (talk) 16:03, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h

edit

Hi @Pseud 14: I have one minor concern: After Go's musical transition to theater in 2011,[126] reviewers were appreciative of her clear and sweet-sounding vocals… I recommend changing “were appreciative” to “appreciated” for conciseness.  750h+ | Talk  14:56, 22 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for driving by 750h+. Done as suggested. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:00, 22 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Support. I don’t have anything else. Great work, your articles are always nice to read!  750h+ | Talk  15:02, 22 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Averageuntitleduser

edit

I plan to review this. Averageuntitleduser (talk) 12:11, 24 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Averageuntitleduser, sorry to chase you, just checking in if you're getting around to reviewing? Pseud 14 (talk) 15:20, 27 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Apologies, yes, it is on my roster today! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 16:17, 27 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I've only got minor nit-picks so far. The article feels very fluid and addresses thoroughly the recording, style, and reception of her works. I'll be finishing up tomorrow, in the meantime, feel free to revert any of my copy changes.

  • "Pasig, Metro Manila" — as done in the infobox, combine the second unit's link into the first.
Done
  • Perhaps add "contest" before "Birit Baby" for clarity. It is implied, but would still soften the surprise.
Done
  • Perhaps add "her rendition of (Regine Velasquez's)" before "Isang Lahi", this likely doesn't require a source, but it'd be easy nevertheless.
Agreed. I have added as suggested
  • Perhaps expand "OPM" and then bracket it.
Done
  • "wrote that the album is 'another proof..." — a more common phrase would be: "wrote that the album is more 'proof...".
Done
  • "(2009)" — for internal consistency, perhaps move the "2009" before "fifth studio album".
Since the sentence begins with Also that year (which I just realized) referring to 2009, I dropped the enclosure or putting 2009 before it. Hopefully that still works. 2009 nth studio album is not usually a practice I have seen in music articles. I think it's either 2009 studio album or nth studio album.... In this case, I think it would be preferable to go with the chronology.
Silly me, you're right! And yes, I wasn't fully convinced with my suggested formatting.

Comments after the initial review:

This was a butter-smooth read and quite comprehensive. I'm left with only some minor comments. Feel free to revert my copyedits or ask for clarification on my comments! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 04:15, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • "including working on creating melodies for certain tracks" — I'm not sure about the emphasis on this, it's sort of implied in nature and by the "writing material" bit. Perhaps incorporate it into the sentence: "she began writing material and contemplating meoldies", feel free to play around with it.
Agree that it is implied, so I drop it altogether and just stuck with "writing material"
  • "In the same year, Go recorded a version of" — what year? Presumably 2015, especially with the sentence afterwards, but it isn't fully clear.
Correct, when we begin with in the same year or that same year, it usually follows a work with a year in brackets - in this case the live action film Cinderella with the release year in the parenthetical, or the 2015 film so and so...
Ah, but in this case, it precedes when the year "2015" is established. Would something like this work: "In the same year, 2015, Go recorded a version of...", or "Later that 2015..."?
@Averageuntitleduser: I'm not a fan of In the same year, 2015, Go recorded.. tbh. I think later that year works, because the paragraph already begins with After her work with Miss Saigon finished in 2015. The film itself is bracketed with the release year of said work ie Cinderella (2015), and the sentence in question is already followed by a statement that indicates year after In March 2016, it is fairly explicit that the recording and release occurred in 2015. Pseud 14 (talk) 23:06, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
An elegant change!
  • "she resumed her role when the production reopened and had a limited run for the show's concert edition in 2021" — perhaps rework this part. For some reason, I first read it as her having the limited run. I had to rack my brain around it for a while.
I added and also had a limited run, as two things happened; she returned to the role when it re-opened, and participated in the staging of a live concert briefly.
  • As there's already Newsweek, could we replace the Daily Mirror source? This Observer review gets across a similar idea and describes her "full-throttle", empowering belting.
This is a good replacement, thanks for the suggesting. Added.
  • "from maternal experience with her roles on stage" — "with" feels a bit weak here, perhaps something along the lines of: "from her onstage enactments of maternal experiences".
Done
  • "and gaining" — removing this would make the sentence stronger. It currently reads: "She also credits theater work in [...] gaining maturity as a singer", which is a bit clunky.
Done
  • Perhaps swap "took part" and "(returned to) perform" across the two charity event sentences. This would make it more immediate what she did at the first event.
Done

Averageuntitleduser. Your comments have been very helpful. I have provided my responses above. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:09, 28 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for the additional comments Averageuntitleduser. All actioned and addressed. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 13:12, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Upon a final look-through, I'm happy to support. Another lovely music bio! Averageuntitleduser (talk) 23:35, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Averageuntitleduser! Really appreciate your time and the thoroughness of your review. Pseud 14 (talk) 23:54, 30 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Source review

edit

I see no major prose issues, so a source review should be your last hurdle! A spotcheck will be necessary since this is a BLP. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 10:56, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • Ref 22 has no links- is there a reason for that?
I used the newspaper article as an offline source, as I could not find it archived online. I stumbled upon the full article posted to an online forum for verification, but for some reason it doesn't work anymore when I tried accessing it (at least for me). Alternatively, this link also provides the lists the nominees, but I have reservations if it is high-quality enough to be used. So I stuck with an offline source instead, as that seems to be much more acceptable (hopefully). Pseud 14 (talk) 12:43, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm impressed to find no other problems- well done! Spotcheck coming soon MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 10:56, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for taking on the source review MyCatIsAChonk. Provided my response above. Really appreciate your time in doing it. Pseud 14 (talk) 12:43, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

All good on 22. Spotcheck now, choosing randomly, AGF for Tagalog sources:

  • 2: all uses good
  • 3: all uses good
  • 11: good
  • 21: good
  • 36: good
  • 44: good
  • 53: good
  • 70: good
  • 80: good
  • 93: good
  • 106: good
  • 118: good
  • 133: good
  • 145: good

I'm impressed to say that all spotchecks and the source review pass- very well done! Sorry for the delay- I am very impressed by your in-depth work, and hope to see more in the future. MyCatIsAChonk (talk) (not me) (also not me) (still no) 22:51, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for doing the spotchecks MyCatIsAChonk. I really appreciate your time and effort. Absolutely no need to apologize. You've taken the time out of your busy schedule to provide your feedback and review, so I'm most grateful for it. Pseud 14 (talk) 22:57, 25 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Drive-by comments

edit
  • "Under the record label, she released four more studio albums". What record label?
It should be the same record label, Viva Records, which is mentioned initially in the lead. She signed with Viva Records in 2004
Then how about 'Under the same record label'?
Agreed and revised.
Originating in theatre terminology means, she was the first actress to play the part in the production in West End, when the musical premiered. Some sources online to support that as well, as a broadly used term. Hopefully that provides clarity [2] [3] [4]
I assumed so. I suspect that it will have non-aficionados scratching their heads. Is there a more broadly comprehensible way of expressing it? (Eg '... after being the first actor to play Eliza Schuyler ...' or similar.)
Made some tweaking to work around it. Hopefully this reads better for her portrayal of Eliza Schuyler in the original 2017 West End company of Hamilton.
Thanks for your comments Gog the Mild. Provided my responses above. Let me know if edits need to be made or if they are satisfactory. Thanks. Pseud 14 (talk) 14:56, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Gog the Mild (talk) 15:28, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for the suggestions Gog. All actioned. Let me know if there's anything I may have missed. Pseud 14 (talk) 15:36, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Those both look fine. I am researching one other thing, and hope to get back to you on it later today. Gog the Mild (talk) 15:40, 1 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Hi Gog, sorry for the ping. Just checking in on the item you were trying to research about. Slightly curious as well :) (or hopefully I could help check too). Pseud 14 (talk) 21:10, 2 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I have been taking advice re "her portrayal of Eliza Schuyler in the original 2017 West End company of Hamilton" as to whether this use of "company" is acceptable theatrical cant. But! If it doesn't make sense to me then at best it is probably over-specialised and would similarly baffle many readers. So, would you have a problem replacing "company" with 'production', or some similar more generally understood word or phrase? Gog the Mild (talk) 21:48, 2 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Not a problem at all Gog. If it’s going to make it easier to understand, I have done so and made the change to production. Pseud 14 (talk) 22:02, 2 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]


The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
Retrieved from "https://en.wiki.x.io/w/index.php?title=Wikipedia:Featured_article_candidates/Rachelle_Ann_Go/archive1&oldid=1221951684"