User:Slakr/Admin coaching

Non-admins

My advice to people who want to be admins:

1. Avoid ANI, AN, and AN3. Don't put yourself in a position to be the subject of something on an administrators' noticeboard, and don't rally around anything on them. If you cannot avoid the ANs, only read them, but bar yourself from contributing to it.

That's all. You'd think there's more, and there sorta is, but really: everything goes back to the AN boards. If you're involved in a content dispute, don't be— you'll end up on an AN. If you're not spending enough time doing other things, you'll get worked up over something trivial on an AN. If you make too many incorrect CSD taggings, you'll get a yellow box of death, then you'll end up on an AN if you continue. If you're convinced you're always in the right, you'll end up on an AN.

Avoid them like the plague. They will suck away your soul.

Admins

See non-admins section directly above.

Avoid them like the plague. They will suck away your soul.

People who think I'm exaggerating

I'm not. The encyclopedia is a good place. The AN boards are where all of the shit hits the fan. It's there that people wonder whether the shit that has hit the fan is, indeed, really shit, and if so, whether it's stinky/gross/thick enough to warrant turning the fan down. On top that, there are plenty of people who, once the shit has hit the fan, will argue that the best way to clean the fan is to crank it up, sending the shit flying around the room.

A coarse metaphor? No. Spending too much time on them will have you truly believing the encyclopedia has gone to hell in a handbasket, when, in fact, it actually has not. Disagree with that last statement? You spend too much time on the ANs.

Parting thoughts

Something I once said on IRC:

WP:ANI is like a huge orgy. It's fun to watch, and sometimes it's fun to join in, but like any orgy, the larger it gets, the greater the chances are that someone will eventually try to stick a dick in your ass.