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“ | We can, because we have no choice. | ” |
— Motto of the Wikipedian resistance against the vandals |
Characters
editWikipedians
edit- Whoop whoop pull up – Jimbo's right-hand woman; granted steward privileges by Jimbo Wales (played by Christian Bale, digitally altered to appear feminine)
- Committed – A genderfluid friend of Whoop whoop pull up
- Jimbo Wales – Founder of Wikipedia and leader of the Wikipedians (played by himself)
- Thekillerpenguin – Bionic penguin who once single-handedly took down a vandal base; granted steward privileges by Jimbo Wales (voiced by Liam Neeson)
- Brambleberry of RiverClan – Leader of the WikiPumas; also responds to GhostRiver; granted steward privileges by Jimbo Wales (voiced by Elizabeth Banks)
- EEng – almost always correct (played by Robert Downey Jr.)
- Ézaro – Avid deletionist (played by Kenneth Branagh)
- Darius – a new user
- J Roodle – Darius’s mentor
Bots
edit- ClueBot NG – Wikipedia's main anti-vandalism bot
- ImageTaggingBot – Watches for unsourced images and images without license tags, but can be trigger-happy
Vandals
edit- Henrich V – A double agent
- A ding ding ding... – The leader of the vandals; has a ram's head and eagle talons.
- Vandal 1 – A nerdy twenty-something with large, owlish glasses; Ding's right hand man; hates Germans for some reason.
- Vandal 2 – A 300-pound brute who's all muscle, Ding's #3.
- Vandal 3 – A cowboy, Ding's #4 (played by Francis Carr)
- Vandal 4 – Your average joe, Ding's #5 (played by LeBron James)
- Vandal 5 – A slightly-less intelligent Vandal 4, Ding's #6
- Vandal 6 – An unintelligent football player, Ding's #7 (played by Tom Brady)
- Vandal 7 – Your average graffiti artist type, Ding's #8
- Vandal 8 – An anorexic ginger woman with razor teeth, Ding's #9 (played by Paris Hilton)
- Vandal 9 – A juvenile delinquent, Ding's #10
- Vandal 10 – Formerly a sockpuppet of Willy on Wheels, stolen for Ding’s use as his #11.
Happy Tree Friends characters
edit- Pop – Eking out a meager existence in the ruins of the Happy Tree Friends article (voiced by Aubrey Ankrum)
- Nutty – went insane in the aftermath of the vandals' attack (voiced by Micheal Lipman)
- Flippy – A serious army veteran with PTSD; usually friendly and helpful, but a little paranoid (voiced by Kenn Navarro)
- Mime – A deer who communicates through body language and pantomime gestures rather than words
- Disco Bear – Struggling to survive; nervous and paranoid (voiced by Peter Hermann)
- Russel – A free-spirited otter who dresses like a pirate (voiced by Francis Carr)
- Stacey – Russel's girlfriend (appears only as a corpse)
Other
edit- Sergeant SpotFin – a sergeant of the United Nation of Leopard Seal Army (voiced by Matt Stone)
- Phineas Gage – a stagecoach driver famous for surviving an iron bar passing through his head (played by Chris Pratt)
Timeline
editFlashbacks are interspersed throughout the indicate the bleakness of Wikipedia since the vandals have arrived.
- A flashback of the vandals' arrival in the Happy Tree Friends article and a subsequent attack.
- Whoop whoop pull up, Committed, and SpotFin (hereafter referred to as the main group) arrive at the Happy Tree Friends article through a lake. The submarine shrinks to fit in Committed's pocket. They explore the Happy Tree Friends article and find it mainly in ruin.
- The main group meets several HTF characters, including Pop, who has become cynical after the death of his son; Nutty, who tries to eat the characters; and Flippy, who saves them from Nutty, and allows the main group to stay at his home overnight.
- The main group briefly meets Mime, who attempts to communicate with them with pantomime gestures, but the Wikipedians do not understand and continue on. Only when they walk onto a battlefield do they realize that Mime was warning them. Whoop whoop and Committed enter the fight, while SpotFin, now unaccustomed to fighting rather than giving orders, looks for a place to hide.
- SpotFin finds an overturned slab of concrete, underneath which Disco Bear is hiding. After a brief conversation, SpotFin hides under the slab.
- Henrich V gives a monologue about the Vandals' plans to take over Dublin. At the end of Henrich's monologue, Thekillerpenguin, accompanied by Brambleberry of RiverClan, appears and shoots him dead. Jimbo calls three Wikipedians to investigate the roles of the Vandals.
- Whoop whoop pull up and Committed defeat the vandals at the Happy Tree Friends article and realize their opponents are not ordinary vandals, but Vandals.
- As the main group heads to the coast, they realize that Flippy is tailing them. They invite Flippy to accompany them on their mission to defeat A ding ding ding..., which Flippy enthusiastically accepts.
- The main group, now including Flippy, boats out in their U-boat and meets Russel. After a brief chat, Russel asks the main group what they are doing. After Whoop whoop explains the situation with A ding ding ding..., Russel asks to go with them, and the main group accepts.
- The main group arrives in Tampa City and finds it totally destroyed, with the bodies of various Wikipedians and vandals still lying around. Russel finds the dead body of his girlfriend Stacey, who died fighting for the Wikipedians, and swears revenge on the Vandals.
- The main group meets EEng and Phineas Gage outside a portal leading to Dublin. After Phineas is hit by a piece of metal, the main group enters the portal as EEng wishes them luck.
Scenes
editFlashback A
editThe Happy Tree Friends article. It is nighttime. A tree's silhouette looms against the starry sky. A shadow flits by, dwarfed by the tree. It is clearly an anthropomorphic animal (Happy Tree Friends character), but we can't tell who it is yet.
Cut to a close-up view of the animal. It is Pop, carrying his son, Cub, in his right arm. Cub is fast asleep.
Pop glances over his shoulder. He runs into an alley behind a convenience store. He glances around; the alleyway is empty. Pop sets down his son against the wall. Then, sighing contentedly, he slumps against the wall to sleep.
Pop's POV. The screen is dark, and we can hear Pop's snoring. A snort is heard, and Pop slowly opens his eyes. Two vandals are standing in front of him. One of the vandals is holding a samurai sword.
Back to third-person POV. Pop, now fully awake, screams and backs against the wall. A now-awake Cub slowly rises to his feet, staring at the vandals. The little child shows no signs of fear.
The sword-wielding vandal thrusts his sword at Pop's head. Pop barely manages to dodge.
Now starting to panic, Pop breaks away from the wall and starts to run away. The vandals chase him, and Cub cautiously toddles after them.
The sword-wielding vandal manages to get close enough to Pop to slash him in the back. Pop collapses.
Pop slowly raises his head, wincing in pain. A little blood can be seen coming out of his mouth. Suddenly he gasps in terror.
Cut to an over-the-shoulder view of both vandals. They are slowly advancing towards Cub. The cub is frozen with fear.
Close-up of Pop's terrified eye. Pop's fearful panting can be heard. As Pop's pupil constricts, his breathing becomes steadier, more closely resembling the deep breathing of rage.
Cut to the swordless vandal, grinning evilly. His grin rapidly morphs into an expression of fear as he is suddenly pulled offscreen. The sound of blood squelching is heard.
Startled, the sword-wielding vandal turns around, and his eyes grow wide with fear. Cut to Pop with the headless corpse of the other vandal at his feet. His pupils are constricted from rage, but his expression is otherwise unreadable.
The vandal charges towards Pop, sword raised, but just about he is about to hit Pop, Pop grabs the hilt of the sword, pries the sword out of the vandal's hands, and throws it to the side. The vandal scrambles to pick up his sword, but Pop gets the sword first.
The vandal closes his eyes tightly, readying himself for the final blow, but it doesn't come. The vandal slowly opens his eyes and glances around; Pop is nowhere to be seen. The vandal shrugs and starts to walk away, only to be stabbed in the chest from behind with his own sword. Emphasize the terror in his eyes as he realizes he is about to die.
The vandal's body flops to the ground, and Pop drops the sword. Cut to his POV; he slowly starts approaching Cub.
Pop slowly picks up Cub. Make this very tense.
Pop kisses Cub on the forehead and walks away. As he leaves, pan over to the dead bodies of the vandals.
Scene 1
editMedium shot of a lake in the Happy Tree Friends article. A U-boat billows up from the water.
The U-boat slowly appraoches the shore.
The Story of Willy on Wheels
editJimbo Wales’s tent. Jimbo is sitting on a chair as Kyle, Stan, and Butters sit on the floor in front of him. Der Erlkönig by Schubert starts playing.
Jimbo: Well, it's a long story. You see, what happened was that, when Willy on Wheels was still in good standing, I had a walk with him through the Foundation. Since it was getting dark, we had to take a short cut through the WikiWoods.
Kyle: What are those, and where are they?
Jimbo: Let's just say that they're far away south of the village pump, and that they're not a good place to get lost in. You see, in there is the King Vandal, the king of all vandals.
Butters: Ooh. Sounds scary. Vandals can be greater than Willy on Wheels?
Jimbo: Well, obviously, that's not very good for us, to say the least. Besides, Willy won't be very pleased…
Stan: What does the King Vandal have to do with Willy on Wheels?
Jimbo: Let me explain. See, the King Vandal is not a real user, but is an essence of vandalism. If he thinks you would be a good vandal, he'll come for you if you go close enough to his hideout. Which is in...
Butters: The WikiWoods?
Jimbo: Exactly. So the King Vandal entered Willy and got him to become the vandals' commander.
Kyle: So that's how it started! But how does the King Vandal choose?
Jimbo: Anonymous IPs are more susceptible to him. Account creation creates a shield around you that makes it slightly more difficult for him. (But not much more difficult. Especially if you're in a bad mood.) A few users get only partially affected by him, so that they have good edits as well as bad edits - but these are not so common.
Stan: Yes, but that's because more of them are becoming full-fledged vandals, right?
Jimbo: Yes, that’s exactly right, Stan. You’re so smart for your age.
Stan blushes.
The music stops as Brambleberry of RiverClan enters the tent.
Brambleberry of RiverClan: Jimbo! The Vandals are approaching our campgrounds!
Jimbo: That’s not good. How many?
Brambleberry of RiverClan: Easily 2,000 strong.
Jimbo: And how many of our soldiers are in camp now?
Brambleberry of RiverClan: Only about 700. The rest are either on the battlefield or at AFD or noticeboards.
Jimbo: That’s bad.
Kyle: Don’t worry, Mr. Wales! Us Freedom Pals will protect the camp!
Stan: Right! Every single one of us is here!
Stan and Kyle start to put on their costumes.
Butters: C-can we really beat 2,000 vandals? I mean, we have superpowers, but there are lots of them and-and only a few of us.
Kyle: (now in costume as the Human Kite) I don’t know, but we have to try!
Brambleberry of RiverClan: You can, because you have no choice.
Stan: (now in costume as Toolshed) Right! What Bram said!
Focus on Butters for a while.
Butters: Right. We have to try.
He picks up his hammer.
All: FOR WIKIPEDIA!