Talk:Trenck's Pandurs/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Nick-D (talk · contribs) 10:56, 22 January 2013 (UTC)

Comments

I'll post a review of this article over the next few days. Nick-D (talk) 10:56, 22 January 2013 (UTC)

OK, I've just read through the article. It's in pretty good shape, and seems sufficiently detailed for GA class. I have the following comments:

• Should the article simply be called Pandurs?

• The article had that title indeed when submitted to GAR in October. However, Pandur disambiguation page was created in the meantime. Pandurs currently redirects to this article though.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)
• I'm not bent on this title or another, but I think that some sort of disambiguation should be maintained. Do you have an alternate proposal?--Tomobe03 (talk) 19:45, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• Not really - I was thinking of just 'Pandurs', but it would be a bit confusing having 'Pandur' as one article and 'Pandurs' as another. Nick-D (talk) 09:50, 25 January 2013 (UTC)

• "The Pandurs took part in a military parade for the empress in May 1741; the unit included a military band consisting of twelve men equipped with flutes, a drum and cymbals. Considered pioneers of martial music in Europe, the group was named the Turkish band after Ottoman military bands." - too much detail for the lead, which should provide a short summary of the article (see WP:MOSBEGIN in particular)
• "The Pandurs did not use uniforms—their clothes varied, but were of Turkish style. Their oriental appearance was accented by shaved heads with rattails, and by the use of a bunchuk instead of a unit banner." - ditto

• Shortened both.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• "capturing or destroying Zobten am Berge, Strehlen, Klaus Castle, Linz, Deggendorf, Diessenstein Castle, Cham and Cosel fortress and took part in capture of Munich." - why is Munich not in the list of cities "captured or destroyed" if it was captured? - the current wording is a bit confusing

• Rephrased.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• Did this regiment really capture the various cities and fortresses single handed as the current wording of the paragraph which begins with "The Pandurs took part in War of the Austrian Succession..." implies? That seems unlikely given the way armies were organised and fought during this era.

• Indeed, that came off wrong. Rephrased.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• "The achievements of the Pandurs led by Trenck left a lasting mark on the culture and heritage" - which 'culture and heritage' is this referring to?

• Made an attempt to clarify.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• I suspect that the link to the armoured vehicle should point to Pandur I

• Changed link to Pandur II.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• What makes http://www.britishbattles.com/ a reliable source? Nick-D (talk) 10:37, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

• Not much - removing. The source was inadvertently left over from a previous incarnation of the article.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

Thank you for taking time and effort to review the article. I trust the article will genuinely improve as a result.--Tomobe03 (talk) 11:43, 24 January 2013 (UTC)

No worries - all those changes look great, and I'm pleased to pass this review. Nick-D (talk) 09:50, 25 January 2013 (UTC)

Assessment

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. Has an appropriate reference section:

   B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

   B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

   Nick-D (talk) 09:50, 25 January 2013 (UTC)