Treaty battleship has been listed as one of the Warfare good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: June 20, 2019. (Reviewed version). |
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Image copyright problem with Image:HMS Nelson (1925).jpg
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B class review
editPlease fix these. Thanks. Djmaschek (talk) 03:58, 24 February 2019 (UTC)
- Geneva naval conferences subheader: "The British proposed limiting battleships to be under 30,000 tons, with 1.5 inch guns." COMMENT: Should this read 15-inch guns?
- Battleships header: "(Addington 1994, p. 174)" COMMENT: Should this belong in a normal citation?
- Djmaschek, Thanks! It's sometimes hard to find such mistakes as you pointed out without new eyes on the article. Eddie891 Talk Work 12:52, 24 February 2019 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Hey Eddie I was just reading this article and my eyes spotted something. This sentence Specific naval treaties that emerged during this era include the Washington Naval Treaty in 1921 and the London Naval Treaty in 1930. in the background section hasn't a citation. Could you be so kindly to add a citation in the sentence? Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 15:13, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- CPA-5, sure, added! as an aside, do you think I could nominate this article for ga with a bit of improvement? It's a summary article, so I don't feel it needs to be super in depth. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:46, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Well I personally don't see any major problem. Do you personally have the books of the article? If it is a yes then sure you can nominate it. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 17:24, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- CPA-5, I have access to them through Project MUSE Eddie891 Talk Work 17:26, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Great! Go ahead try to make it a GA-class mate. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 17:38, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Well I personally don't see any major problem. Do you personally have the books of the article? If it is a yes then sure you can nominate it. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 17:24, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
- @Eddie891: Hey Eddie I was just reading this article and my eyes spotted something. This sentence Specific naval treaties that emerged during this era include the Washington Naval Treaty in 1921 and the London Naval Treaty in 1930. in the background section hasn't a citation. Could you be so kindly to add a citation in the sentence? Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 15:13, 17 March 2019 (UTC)
GA Review
editGA toolbox |
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Treaty battleship/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 23:48, 7 June 2019 (UTC)
I will review this one, comments to follow in next few days. Zawed (talk) 23:48, 7 June 2019 (UTC)
- Zawed, Just so you know, I will be completely offline from 21 June to 21 July, so, while you can comment then, I will not be able to respond for that time Eddie891 Talk Work 23:42, 13 June 2019 (UTC)
Lead
edit- There shouldn't be a need for a cite in the lead if everything has been been cited in the body. It seems that the term "Treaty battleship" isn't really used in the main body which seems odd given that it is the title for the article.
- Perhaps the second paragraph should refer to the Washington Treaty as the first of the naval treaties
Background
edit- The first sentence includes a quote; although there is only one word after the end of the quote to complete the sentence, the quote really could be cited. I assume it is Addington that is the source of the quote. Perhaps restructure the sentence so it finishes with the quote.
- You refer to World War I here but the Great War in the lead - use one or the other for consistency.
Treaties
edit- The first paragraph is just one long sentence. Suggest breaking it down a little. Doing so may also help with the parsing issue I had with "British ending opposition to including the..." Perhaps "withdrawing its opposition to the inclusion of the Monroe Doctrine"?
Washington Naval Treaty
edit- "Chapter II, part 2, detailed...": should the part 2 be capitalised (like Part 3, Section II which appears later in this part of the article)?
Geneva Naval Conferences
edit- Given the main purpose of these conferences seemed to be around establishing limits for cruisers etc..., what were the proposals in this regard? I ask since a proposal for battleships is mentioned.
- All I felt merited inclusiton was about the British proposal, particularly as this article follows treaty battleships. I can certainly add stuff about cruisers if you want. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:47, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- Good point, I hadn't considered that. Putting material about cruisers would be a bit off topic so won't insist on it. Zawed (talk) 09:17, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- All I felt merited inclusiton was about the British proposal, particularly as this article follows treaty battleships. I can certainly add stuff about cruisers if you want. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:47, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- Also, this section appears to only discuss the first conference. What about the second? Perhaps one or two sentence summary for this section.
- "The Conference ended"; plural since you use plural in the heading
London Treaties
edit- This section starts off with "These limits were reiterated by the London Naval Treaty of 1930..."; what limits? Those not reached in Geneva or existing limits? (the use of reiterated suggests the latter).
- The second treaty is linked but not the first.
- Were the treaties ratified?
Battleships
edit- Perhaps mention the term "Treaty battleship" here?
- The problem over use of the term (which you also mentioned earlier) is that very few ships were built that can properly be called 'treaty battleships', and the term essentially applies to the lack of battleships, making it hard to use. Eddie891 Talk Work 21:47, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- I feel this section would work better if the first sentence was deleted - the ships appear to be discussed later anyway. I also note that Hood appears to have been commissioned prior to the Washington Treaty so why the exception? I can understand the others as briefly checking them they had to enter service.
- If you note later "The Royal Navy scrapped or stopped construction on sixteen ships as a result of the Washington Naval Treaty. " -- I presume Hood would have been scrapped... Eddie891 Talk Work 21:47, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- "(the American and Japanese ships having been converted)"; converted from what to what? Note I think it isn't necessary to have this as you discuss the ships in the following paragraph.
- "The treaty limitations..." are still referring to the Washington treaty or all of them (see next comment)?
- "The treaties also inhibited development ..." which treaties or all of them?
- Make it explicit that Nelson and Rodney are treaty battleships
Bibliography
edit- Should the treaties be here rather than being linked directly from the references?
- I couldn't figure out how to do that and cite specific sections... Let me know if you think there's a good way to do it Eddie891 Talk Work 21:59, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- Honed listed but not actually cited
- It looks like you have grouped sources by books and websites? If not then the last 7 are out of order. If yes, perhaps use headings to differentiate them.
- Hackett, Bob; Kingsepp, Sander & Ahlberg, Lars is out of order, and needs an access date.
- There are two references for Milestones, but the short text for the references don't reflect this.
- the second milestone is now named "State Department MilestonesB" Eddie891 Talk Work 21:59, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
Other stuff
edit- Image tags look fine.
- No dab links
- External links check out OK
Review comments done, will check back in a few days. Perchance you don't get time to respond in light of being offline for a month as you mentioned above, I will place this on hold. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:42, 16 June 2019 (UTC)
- Zawed, fixed all (I think) Eddie891 Talk Work 21:59, 17 June 2019 (UTC)
- Eddie891: this is looking pretty good now and I have made a few extra tweaks. I noticed one thing I missed first time round in the battleships section. The sentence: "Upon the signing of the Washington Naval Treaty, Amagi and Akagi were abandoned and Kaga and Akagi were converted to 30,000-ton aircraft carriers." Akagi is mentioned twice here and there is no context for Amagi (it could be provided by a change along the lines of "Upon the signing of the Washington Naval Treaty, the planned battlecruisers Amagi and XXXX (the ship that this is supposed to refer to) were abandoned and while Kaga and Akagi, still to be completed, were converted to 30,000-ton aircraft carriers." (or something similar and it will depend on what XXXX should be. Once this has been sorted, this should be good to go. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:39, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- Zawed, I think I got it. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:35, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- This looks all good to go now. I consider the article is well written, covers the subject to a reasonable level with sourcing, and is appropriately illustrated. Passing as GA. Zawed (talk) 10:19, 20 June 2019 (UTC)
- Zawed, I think I got it. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:35, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
- Eddie891: this is looking pretty good now and I have made a few extra tweaks. I noticed one thing I missed first time round in the battleships section. The sentence: "Upon the signing of the Washington Naval Treaty, Amagi and Akagi were abandoned and Kaga and Akagi were converted to 30,000-ton aircraft carriers." Akagi is mentioned twice here and there is no context for Amagi (it could be provided by a change along the lines of "Upon the signing of the Washington Naval Treaty, the planned battlecruisers Amagi and XXXX (the ship that this is supposed to refer to) were abandoned and while Kaga and Akagi, still to be completed, were converted to 30,000-ton aircraft carriers." (or something similar and it will depend on what XXXX should be. Once this has been sorted, this should be good to go. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:39, 19 June 2019 (UTC)
Unsourced list
editTreaty_battleship#List_of_ships_considered_treaty_battleships is completely unsourced, Feking83 or anyone else, could you add sourcing or remove the list? See WP:V for sourcing guidelines. Eddie891 Talk Work 16:38, 28 May 2020 (UTC)
- I don’t have a source but these are the ship classes that is mentioned In their page to have the Treaties in mind during the design phase. At minimum it just a list of ships that are mention from the Battleship section above.Feking83 (talk) 01:53, 29 May 2020 (UTC)
- Feking83, Unfortunately, I believe all the extra info (i.e. displacement) needs to be referenced in the list. I can work on adding sources tomorrow, but any you can add would be great. Eddie891 Talk Work 02:38, 29 May 2020 (UTC)