Talk:Terang Boelan/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Crisco 1492 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sarastro1 (talk · contribs) 20:28, 2 November 2012 (UTC)Reply

Very nice article, which I followed despite my ignorance of the subject. No real issues, just minor prose points.

  • "Rohaya (Roekiah) is told to separate from her lover": Told by who?
  • "so that she can marry the disreputable Musa (E. T. Effendi).": Why?
  • Repetition: "The night before the wedding … The night of the wedding".
  • "He then begins fighting with Musa, ultimately being saved by Dullah, who followed him." Something not quite right here. Needs a link between the two parts.
  • "this situation was an effect of the Great Depression and changing market trends.": This doesn't quite follow from the first part of the sentence, so maybe elaborate on how these factors could bring about the situation.
  • "The Dutchman Albert Balink, who had no formal film experience…": Perhaps "despite having no formal film experience"?
  • "the Batavia (now Jakarta)-based Dutch Indies": I'm not sure the hyphen is used correctly here, but I'm far from a punctuation expert.
  • "filming several feature films": filming…films.
  • "Balink aimed the film at educated persons, generally native.": Maybe better as "educated native people", but that may destroy the meaning slightly.
  • Done
  • "The film was written shortly after": Previous sentence says the "story" was written, and I'm not sure that a film can be written. Script? Screenplay?
  • "Filming had begun by February 1937": Maybe just "filming began"?
  • Done
  • Was it all filmed on location? Or in a studio?
  • "Posters also emphasised the use of Indonesian": Meaning language? Or something else? Either way, perhaps elaborate on why this was a big deal.
  • "However, ANIF was displeased with the film": Why?
  • "The vast majority of the films released in the Indies were released between 1939": released…released. And it sounds odd.
  • "the repeated use of its formula has seen criticism": Maybe "has been criticised"?
  • "noted that films made with nitrate film": films…film

General

  • (Very limited) Spotchecks revealed no problems, but I did not check the Indonesian sources.
  • Images check out OK.
  • No dablinks, external links fine.

Placing this on hold, but should be a quick pass. Sarastro1 (talk) 20:36, 2 November 2012 (UTC)Reply