Talk:Shah Budak

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Shah Budak/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 02:39, 6 March 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 14:57, 27 September 2024 (UTC)

Prose review

• You link Turkmen to Oghuz Turks here but to Turkoman (ethnonym) at Malik Arslan. Which is correct?

  Answered in the other review.

• succession - would accession be a better word?

   Done

• Shah Suwar crushed his brother near Zamantu Castle - he didn't crush his brother. His forces defeated those of his brother. Per WP:SLANG, we should present this in a more encyclopedic tone.
• Zamantu Castle - Per Wikipedia:LEASTASTONISHMENT, Zamantu might be better unlinked; one would expect the article to be one on the castle.

  Removed.

• Shah Budak blinded Shahruh in retribution for the treatment his son Feyyaz had received in 1484. - No indication what this treatment was.

  Changed to "defeated" and "overpowered".

• worsting - ?

  Ouster? Aintabli (talk) 00:02, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

  That works.  — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:24, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

• Generally, foreign language terms that have not been adapted to English should be italicized (see MOS:NON-ENG)

   Done Aintabli (talk) 00:06, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Image review

No images

• Added custom map with a few labels for some of the towns mentioned in the text. Aintabli (talk) 00:06, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

  Oh, I just meant that to indicate that I've looked (in case things change down the line). That being said, the map looks excellent.  — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:24, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

Source review

• All sources look to be reliable.
• No close paraphrasing detected through Earwig.

Conclusion

• Looks pretty good. I've made some edits; please review them. Only a few nitpicks to resolve. — Chris Woodrich (talk) 15:02, 27 September 2024 (UTC)

• Alright, that was a short and sweet review. Happy to pass this as a GA! — Chris Woodrich (talk) 17:24, 1 October 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Did you know nomination

(

• Comment or view
• Article history

)

• ... that Shah Budak, a prince of the Anatolian Dulkadir dynasty, blinded his nephew Shahruh in retaliation for the same treatment his son Feyyaz received?

• Source: * Har-El, Shai (1995). Struggle for Domination in the Middle East: The Ottoman-Mamluk War, 1485-91. E.J. Brill. p. 195. ISBN 9004101802. OCLC 624096003. Retrieved 19 March 2023.

• Reviewed:

Improved to Good Article status by Aintabli (talk). Number of QPQs required: 0. Nominator has fewer than 5 past nominations.

Aintabli (talk) 18:26, 2 October 2024 (UTC).

• Sourced in article, passed GA recently, generally well written, interesting enough, my only issue is the hook is phrased weirdly in the last half in a way that feels strangely ambiguous. "in retaliation for the same treatment his son Feyyaz received?" can you think of another way to say this? Also maybe don't mention the name of his son; possibly do "in retaliation for the same having been done to his son"? PARAKANYAA (talk) 20:14, 2 October 2024 (UTC)

  Alt1 ... that Shah Budak, a prince of the Anatolian Dulkadir dynasty, blinded his nephew Shahruh in retaliation for his son's similar fate? @PARAKANYAA: How does it sound now? Aintabli (talk) 15:12, 3 October 2024 (UTC)

I still think that phrasing is slightly awkward, but it's better and less ambiguous. PARAKANYAA (talk) 18:47, 3 October 2024 (UTC)

Having two non-bolded links next to each other is discouraged by WP:DYKMOS. jlwoodwa (talk) 05:55, 9 October 2024 (UTC)

Alt2 ... that Shah Budak, a prince of the Dulkadir dynasty in Anatolia, blinded his nephew Shahruh in retaliation for his son's similar fate? @Jlwoodwa and PARAKANYAA: Thank you. I've fixed the issue. Aintabli (talk) 15:08, 9 October 2024 (UTC)