Talk:No Vacancy Lounge/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Another Believer in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 21:48, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply


Looks interesting. Review to follow. Harrias talk 21:48, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Thanks! ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:26, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

In general, the level of writing is very good. I can normally pick up quite a few minor points in any article I look at, but I'm struggling here!

  • It would be nice to be more precise about when they opened; specify December 2017, rather than simply "late 2017".
  • Did the co-founders work at FOMO Media, or was that just a host venue?
    • The source says, "Sheinin's first attempt to answer that question came in 2014, when No Vacancy began in earnest as an after-hours party in the Northwest Portland offices of FOMO Media, the startup where he worked at the time." I've updated the text to clarify. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:26, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "The interior featured "elegantly designed" Art Deco and high tech production equipment." Was the production equipment Art Deco, or the interior? This could do with re-working slightly.
    • I've added "details". Once source mentions an Art Deco interior, the other Art Deco "detail". I could interpret this as architectural features or furniture, accessories, etc, so to me "details" is vague enough but clarifies the interior and not the equipment. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:26, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "Two weeks after opening, property owners attempted to terminate.." This should be "the property owners". It would also be good to mention them by name, as (assuming they are Melvin Mark Properties) the name kind of comes out of the blue in the next sentence.
  • "Later in the year, the venue hosted.." Later in which year?
  • Ref #26 is missing a work/publisher.
  • I would consider being a bit more detailed about the location in the lead.

Overall, this is a good piece of work, with just a few very minor alterations needed to meet GA status, well done. Harrias talk 22:14, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.