Talk:Nemesis (Resident Evil)/GA1

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Can you make the same changes here as I suggested for Reptile (Mortal Kombat)? Gary King (talk) 01:50, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Think I nailed most of them, fixed up a lot of issues here and there as well in the process (some of this was written pretty late in the night after crawling the internet for research info).--Kung Fu Man (talk) 08:09, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

• "Created by Capcom, he first appeared in Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, later appearing in other titles and in cameo roles, appearing on various merchandise, and featured in the 2004 film Resident Evil: Apocalypse." – "Created by Capcom, he first appeared in Resident Evil 3: Nemesis, and later appears in other titles and cameo roles. He also appears on various merchandise, and he was featured in the 2004 film Resident Evil: Apocalypse."
• "He wasis voiced by Tony Rosato in game, and portrayed by Matthew G. Taylor in the film."
• Link "super soldier" to Supersoldier
• "improvement uponon Umbrella's"
• "complete its mission" – Nemesis is referred to as a "he" before this, but an "it" here?
• "with the primary focus on Jill Valentine" – Could "primary focus" be more specific? Is she the person that is his highest priority to kill?
• "introduction, the" – comma
• "SourcesPublications such"
• "an intimatingintimidating"
• "The general public also noted praise forpraised the character"

Alright, that's the lead. Some of these are problems also found elsewhere in the article, such as pronoun usage. Gary King (talk) 17:37, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Went through with fixes, I think I nailed most of the pronouns (the film version is an exception, as that Nemesis is male). Force of habit to call it male just based off looks.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 18:58, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

• "can utilizeuse weapons"
• "Nemesis's" – extra "s"?
• "intimating" – The Nemesis is intimate with whom? Sounds kinky!
• "During development, many" – comma
• "many different designs"
• "designs were considered; though some elements remained constant amongst them," – "designs were considered. Although some elements remained constant among them,"
• "the alternate designs" – Alternate? So there is a main one? That should be mentioned before this.

Gary King (talk) 19:25, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

Should be fixed, Nemesis no long engaging in bad porno behavior. Schoolgirls no longer threatened. One thing though, I'm not sure if it should be "Nemesis'" or "Nemesis's" to show possession. It's a different case than a plural possessive, I just can't recall if it counts for all cases of s on the end or not to omit the final "s".--Kung Fu Man (talk) 21:03, 21 January 2009 (UTC)

• The rest of "Conception and design" was a nice read.
• "the STARS" – should it be just "STARS"? The same way one would refer to NASA; compare to when referring to it when using its full form.
• "and with a rocket"
• "After being heavily damaged resulting in the loss of its overcoat" – a bit strange to read, perhaps: "After losing its overcoat as a result of heavy damage"
• "in acid, Nemesis" – comma
• "Raccoon City-inspired " – hyphen
• "noted the gun's addition as inspired" – "noted that the gun's addition was inspired"
• "to use."" – period goes outside the quotes per WP:PUNC (probably something to read up as you'll probably be using quotes often for video game articles)
• "Kropserkel Inc. working alongsideand PJFX Studios"
• "and stands roughly 7 feet 3 inches tall,[16] weighing nearly 100 pounds." – use the {{convert}} template to provide a metric conversion for these values
• "face-off" – hyphen
• "games, Nemesis" – comma
• "which Jill Valentine dus Nemesis" – "dus"? What's that?
• "Nemesis only does somutates towards"
• "Evil-based" – hyphen
• "released theirits own"
• "pairs of a playable"
• "60 cm long" – convert to Imperial units.
• "stating disdain" – "but felt disdain"
• "Nemesis twenty-ninth29th on" per WP:MOS
• "47 most diabolical video game villains of all time" – Is this the official name of the list? Otherwise, perhaps use the official name so it can be capitalized.
• "the series."" – period goes outside
• "as a villain as simple, yet effective" – "as a simple, yet effective villain"
• "popularity amongstamong fans in comparisonwhen compared to"
• "stating, "The" – comma

Okay, that's everything. Gary King (talk) 05:33, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Nailed them all, it should be up to speed now.--Kung Fu Man (talk) 17:51, 24 January 2009 (UTC)

Okay nice job, passing Gary King (talk) 18:07, 24 January 2009 (UTC)