Talk:History of the cotton industry in Catalonia/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Sturmvogel 66 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 19:35, 14 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:35, 14 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

  • File:MNACTEC 1.3.1.1-18464.jpg uses several invalid licenses. Why is there a CC BY-SA 4.0 license in the attribution field? You can't use PD-1923 for the US license because you have no history of publication. You can use PD-US-unpublished since it was taken c. 1900, though. And the appropriate Spanish license is PD-Spain-Photo for everything taken before 1998 in Spain. You're going to need to update all of the licenses taken under similar circumstances.
  • A source link needs to be added for File:Botiga d'indianes.jpg. The PD-Art tag will replace the existing tags. You'll need to do the same for all paintings, engravings, etc., if the artist died more than 70 years ago. Be sure to use a US-specific license for each artwork.
  • Lot of links need to be added at first use: Catalan, factory system, spinning, geographic locations, steam power, steam engine, Great Depression, Spanish Civil War, WW2, turbine, guild
  • and modern technology at scale awkward, I'd suggest something like large-scale modern technology
  • stimulated by a government initiative to substitute imports and the opening up of the American colonies to Catalan merchants awkward as you don't refer to domestic industry for imports
  • Hydraulic power is the wrong term, you mean water power, and be sure to link it
  • The opening of the Spanish economy in the 1960s, social changes that caused the industrial colony system to collapse and the oil shock of the 1970s All of these phenomena needs links if available.
  • Combine the second and third paragraphs in the chintz revolution section
  • Spain followed England and France to ban calico imports awkward, rephrase
  • Then in 1728 the import of European made imitations of Asian textiles was banned in Spain. Additionally the edict had as one of its objectives to encourage a local, import-substituting weaving and printing industry in imitation of England. combine these two sentences and rephrase as necessary
  • Down to chintz printing, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 08:48, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Thanks. Have acted on all suggestions except image licences which Ill get to in a few days. Peter Brew (talk) 09:47, 26 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • You have a curious habit of forgetting articles like the, of, etc. Forex: the wide scale use modern technology use "of" modern tech. Please go through the article and try to add them where missing.
  • And contrasting clauses are usually set off by commas, in front of "but". Forex: introduced but the cost of imported coal needs a comma after introduced
  • Why was Malta given an exception for spun yarn?
  • Remove the link to factory system in the second para of the lede as it duplicates the one in the first para.
  • You have two different links for American colonies and steam engine. Rephrase to make it clearer to the reader what you're actually referring to.
  • Merge the second and third paragraphs of the chintz printing section
  • Link brandy, viticulture,
  • You need to explain the Cadiz monopoly
  • What exactly is the Rec Comtal? A spring, aqueduct, or fountain?
  • Explain and link "the European and American wars" and be sure to cover Spain's involvement
  • Lots of missing links for towns and villages in the Proto-industry section. These need to be added throughout the article, but only on the first time that they're used.
  • You should not be using single-sentence paragraphs, merge them into adjacent paragraphs
  • do not capitalize vodka
  • Why do you have Watt in parentheses in steam engine in the great leap section?
  • and international competitiveness awkward
  • Down to industrial colonies.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:08, 27 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Mostly done. Still reviewing for missing articles and the reason for Malta being excepted. Peter Brew (talk) 08:49, 29 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Merge the first para of the Industrial colonies section into the second one.
  • Link capital structure
  • Please add an ISSN for each journal if available
  • If possible add a link for each journal article--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:45, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    I think I've addressed all your comments. I've also found that rewording a few phrases has made some elements clearer. Certainly easier to see faults after leaving it alone for a few months. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Happy to receive more. Peter Brew (talk) 13:36, 1 September 2023 (UTC)Reply
  • Add a link for the UNESCO World Heritage
  • I'm going to promote this in anticipation of the link being added. I always find that it's a good idea to let a piece of writing vegetate for a while so that I can now distinguish between what I meant to say and what I actually did say.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:10, 5 September 2023 (UTC)Reply