Talk:George Jameson (RNZAF officer)/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Pickersgill-Cunliffe in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)Reply

I'll take a look at this shortly. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:17, 4 December 2022 (UTC)Reply

Prelim

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  • The only duplicated link is DSO in the lede, which can probably be kept
  • No edit wars
  • Image is correctly licenced
  • Earwig reports copyvio unlikely

Lede and infobox

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  • Suggest adding his middle name to the lede
  • Move night-fighter link to first mention in lede
  • Suggest adding how/when he got the DFC to the lede
  • Service number can be added to infobox from London Gazette

Early life

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  • Ref. #4 seems to link to the wrong newspaper article, it discusses his DFC not his education
  • Can you provide any dates for the education?

Second World War

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  • "Jameson received his flight training"
  • "Posted to No. 125 Squadron" based where?
  • "in November he was awarded..." this sentence needs a rejig, doesn't work later on
  • "with the assistance of radar Jameson shot up"
  • How exactly is radar helping him shoot an aircraft engine? Did it perhaps tell him where the aircraft was?
  • "flying operations"?
  • Do we know which OTU it was?
  • A more particular date would be useful for the OTU, you've leaving me to guess anywhere between February and December!
  • "Norman Crookes" give Crookes his rank if possible - would be useful to mention somewhere that both his planes are double seaters
  • "Crooks combined" sp?
  • "A Ju 88 was destroyed" this doesn't actually make it clear that Jameson was the one to do the destroying
  • Temporary situation or temporary station?
  • "This second Ju 88" technically this is the third Ju 88
  • "he was able to score hits"
  • "a Ju 88 was destroyed over Avranches" again, not made clear this is Jameson's work
  • "September 1944" repeated year
  • "The same month..." too much "sortie" in this sentence!
  • Give the acres number a conversion, probably to hectares?
  • "memorabilia" seems a little tacky, could you describe it better?

References

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  • Repeat earlier cmt about ref. #4
  • Other references look ok, AGF with print sources

@Zawed: Hi, that's all I have for now. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 20:38, 9 December 2022 (UTC)Reply

Pickersgill-Cunliffe thanks for the detailed review, I have responded to your various comments as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 08:15, 10 December 2022 (UTC)Reply
@Zawed: Edits look good. A few final points:
  • Either "two-seater De Havilland Mosquitos" or "the two-seater De Havilland Mosquito"
  • You don't mention any of his ranks before flight lieutenant, it would be useful if you can provide at least one of them
  • I've added his rank at the time of the DFC being awarded since the preamble to LG citation refers to this. Unfortunately, I don't know when he was commissioned as a pilot officer. Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)Reply
That's all I've got. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 19:52, 10 December 2022 (UTC)Reply
Thanks, responded as above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 21:46, 10 December 2022 (UTC)Reply
@Zawed: Passing this article as satisfying the GA criteria. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 01:51, 11 December 2022 (UTC)Reply