Talk:Errol Thompson (ice hockey)
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Untitled
editI’ve made several changes to this article. Since these changes are to content which has been with the article from the beginning I felt it best to explain them. There was nothing substantially wrong with the article, but it needed editing. Some of this is rewording language and some is inaccuracies. Any facts I state are backed up in the links.
“He scored 32 points in this first NHL season, but couldn't help Toronto avoid another losing season”. This is illogical since 32 points is not especially a great number of point. It makes no sense to say a low number of points didn’t help the Leafs avoid another losing season. I re-worded it because 32 points isn’t bad on a bad team, which I think is what was meant here.
“The Leafs finally felt it was time to see what this young winger could do in the NHL.” To say “finally felt it was time” implies he was on people’s minds when in fact Thompson was a complete unknown and was simply discovered by Bower while he was scouting PEI. At least that’s my understanding; unless someone knows that Thompson was being deliberately overlooked by the NHL.
“The next year he began to see less ice time under coach Roger Neilson” I felt it was necessary to clarify why he saw less ice-time. Neilson was obsessed with defense and Thompson was an all-offense type.
“trustworthy workhorse” This is too vague. It could equally mean Thompson was a checking forward. Overall, there wasn't sufficient clarification on what type of player Thompson was.
“Errol continued to produce for the Wings” This is awkward language. I know it was meant to say he continued to produce even after he was traded, but it is worded more like he’d always been with the Wings.
“Pittsburgh scoring 14 points” I don’t see the point of this fact. If you want to say his production was down and he decided to retire, then that could be said, but otherwise it ends the article on a needless down point. My understanding is that Thompson actually had 2 years left on a $100,00 contract and retired because hockey was no longer fun.
I think my other changes were just improving the language. BashBrannigan (talk) 17:23, 3 May 2009 (UTC)