Talk:Duke of Marmalade

Latest comment: 7 years ago by InternetArchiveBot in topic External links modified
Good articleDuke of Marmalade has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it.
Article milestones
DateProcessResult
December 2, 2011Good article nomineeListed

GA Review

edit
This review is transcluded from Talk:Duke of Marmalade/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Crisco 1492 (talk · contribs) 06:20, 1 December 2011 (UTC)Reply

Checklist

edit
Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. See below
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. Good
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. See below
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Good
  2c. it contains no original research. Good
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. In depth enough for me
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). In a biography of a person, I'd question the pedigree. For horse racing, I'll accept it.
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. A couple dodgy bits Fine
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Stable within definition
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Fine
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. Fine
  7. Overall assessment. Good

Comments

edit
1A

Overall

  • Tense agreement -- DoM is still alive, but he is referred to in the past tense in the background section.

Done.

  • A few too many words that are not understandable to the general public (i.e. people who don't follow horse racing), or would be better in more general wording. For example, "won by a neck" --> "won narrowly", "starting 11/4 favourite" (?), "to make all the running on the colt" (?) etc.

added "x-1" form equivalents to 4/6, 11/4. Explained "Neck" as "quarter of a length" Changed "make all the running" to "lead throughout the race"

  • Too many one-sentence paragraphs. Try merging them or otherwise finding a way to cut back on them.

Done.

  • Conditions race is linked at least 5 times. Once or twice should be enough.

took out three, one left for Group One, one for Group Two

Background

  • Perhaps a way to give the information about Danehill and Love Me True as they are introduced, instead of having separate paragraphs about them?

Racing career

  • "sent up to challenge in the straight" Huh? changed to "moved forward to challenge the leaders"
  • "He ran prominently..." -- Any way to make it more neutral. changed to raced in third place
2A
  • Reference needed: One paragraph in background, several in career, one sentence in assessment, honours and awards.

Rephrased and referenced assessment sentence (I had a feeling it might be problematic)

  • One of the new references is unformatted (FN48), other sentences are still missing references. reference (FN48) formated
  • "During this winless period he was sometimes regarded as little more than a pacemaker for more celebrated stable companions such as Dylan Thomas." Nowhere in the article outside the lede. Considered as such by whom?

The Daily Telegraph. Ref added.

  • http://www.galopp-sieger.de/ - Where is the direct link to the information? Don't forget the language parameter for your references. Changed reference for alternative version
4
  • "The field of twenty-four split into two groups, and Duke of Marmalade was always in contention on the stands side before staying on well to finish fourth to Cockney Rebel" and a couple other things like this.

re-wrote this sentence-looking for other examples Taken out a couple of "goods" and a "well"

  • "bay" added wikilink, removed message
  • "starts" changed to races removed message
  • "field of twenty-four" changed to "field of twenty-four runners" left message in place, hope "field" is acceptable
  • "back in distance" added from "twelve furlongs to ten and a half furlongs" left message in place- is this clear enough
  • "asked him" changed to "attempted to make a forward move" removed message
  • "out of" left as it is. difficult to rephrase without getting anthropomorphic- mother, father etc
Never knew about that work/publisher distinction. I'll get onto it right away.Tigerboy1966 (talk) 11:25, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Changed "publisher"-->"work" for newspaper/magazine refsTigerboy1966 (talk) 11:55, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • The "work" parameter automatically italicizes the title of the work, so the ''Racing Post'' and whatnot is unnecessary. Also, check your automatic references as some seem to be less than ideal. Crisco 1492 (talk) 11:58, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Sorry to be so much bother, but can you give me an example of one of the less than ideal refs?Tigerboy1966 (talk) 12:07, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
I see. Reflinks makes things too easy. Will fix. Tigerboy1966 (talk) 12:57, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
Many thanks. Good learning experience for me.Tigerboy1966 (talk) 13:37, 2 December 2011 (UTC)Reply
edit

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified one external link on Duke of Marmalade. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 02:37, 5 May 2017 (UTC)Reply

edit

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 5 external links on Duke of Marmalade. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 16:05, 14 September 2017 (UTC)Reply