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Talk:Diva (Ivy Queen album)/GA1

< Talk:Diva (Ivy Queen album)
Latest comment: 11 years ago by DivaKnockouts in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 11 years ago42 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: AJona1992 (talk · contribs) 00:28, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Hello,

Lead
  • Link studio album
  • Delink recording artist
  • Don't use the word "album" more than once in a single sentence try to mix it up (recording, it, Diva, etc.)
  • Remove the word "both" in the sentence about the albums being commercially unsuccessful.
  • "Latin hip hop artist including Mexicano 777, Bimbo and K-7," - needs to be "artists"
  • Merge the next sentence with the above one mentioned.
  • What do you mean by "familiar subjects"?
  • Remove the word "all" in the singles sentence.
  • All numbers less than 10 needs to be in numerical and not spelled out per WP:ORDINAL.
  • "This made the album the eight best-selling Tropical Album of 2004 and Queen the eighth best-selling Tropical Artist of 2004" - change it to "Diva became the eight best-selling Tropical Album of 2004, while the recording helped Queen to become the eight best-selling Tropical Artist of that year."
  • Use past-tense tone in the last sentence
Background
  • Remove "Queen" in the first sentence and replace it with "she".
  • That sentence is missing another comma
  • Though the moderate hit, "In The Zone" with Wyclef Jean was able to chart in the United States, the unsuccessful second single "Ritmo Latino" and the album The Original Rude Girl were not and were overlooked and soon forgotten. change to The single, "In The Zone", a duet with Haitian singer Wyclef Jean, was a moderate success in the United States. The following single "Ritmo Latino" and its parent album, were overlooked by consumers and failed to chart.
  • The "important reggaetón television show"?
  • Shows must be in italics.
  • Mun2 needs to be capitalized
Recording
  • "Production of the album was" - change it to "were"
  • Longtime collaborator DJ Nelson, who produced all the tracks on her first two albums, only produces one track, "Quiero Saber". change to Queen's principal songwriter for her previous albums, DJ Nelson, produced the track "Quiero Saber".
  • Use past-tense tone please (produced)
  • "which also features Japanese" - the language?
  • This sections needs more sourcing.
Release
  • Too many sentences start or use the word "album" - needs a variety.
  • The second sentence needs rewording
  • No need for quotations when mentioned the tour
  • Queen performed on the "Reggaeton Tour 2004" in various South American countries including Ecuador where she performed songs such as "Papi Te Quiero" and "Tu No Puedes" in promotion of the album. change to Queen embarked on a worldwide tour Reggaeton Tour 2004 in support for Diva. In one of the legs in Ecuador, she performed "Papi Te Quiero" and "Tu No Puedes", which was her first South American tour.
  • Link the recording label
Composition
  • Remove "Song structure and lyrical content" since there is no other sections
  • "an album" change to "is a mixture of"
  • The musical style of the album alternates between reggaetón and hip-hop while experimenting with R&B and pop change to The musical styles of the recording alternated between reggaetón and hip-hop while Queen experimented with R&B and pop.
  • "The introduction to the album " change to "The introductory of the album,"
  • Use quotations for "queen".
  • Why link Gran Omar in this section and not when he is first mentioned? Also "then-husband" is no longer needed in subsequent sentences, we now know who he is or was.
  • Remove Ivy
  • "with the guy you like" don't refer lyrics to self and instead write it in third-person.
  • "named one of the album's biggest hits" is missing a word
  • It's reggae not Reggae
  • Keep all "Papi Te Quiero" reviews together.
  • "Although, the literal translation of "Papi Te Quiero" is "Daddy I Love You", the song is not directed towards Queen's father but more to her love interest; "Papi" in Hispanic-speaking countries can also mean "babe" or "baby"." - source?
  • Too many sentences start or have the word "song" needs a variety.
Chart performance
  • "In terms of chart performance, Diva was a commercial success." - too orish maybe something like "Diva was a commercial success, peaking at number (or #) 24 on the US Billboard Top Latin Albums chart."
  • Please see WP:ORDINAL for numbers less than 10.
  • Needs rewriting "Billboard Latin Rhythm Songs chart, the song peaked at #8".
  • The whole commercial section needs to be rewritten before I continue here.
  • Too many sentences have the word "album"
  • "of the week" change to "of that week"
  • "While, on the" not sure why there is a comma there.
  • Too many sentences have the word "song"
  • ""I've worked very hard in my career, but I get surprised because I've never expected to get to these places."" - who said this?
  • Referred to her as Queen
  • Is it Sony, Sony Music, Sony Music Latin, etc?
  • "Kid Curry, PD of the station" what's PD?
  • Link word-of-mouth promotion


Critical
Track listing
Credits and personnel
Charts
See also

I will finish the review after you have completed everything I have written down. Best, Jonatalk to me 00:28, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Hello AJona! Thanks for your review. I believe I've addressed your points. Regards, — DivaKnockouts 01:57, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
What's up  . I will continue my review tomorrow, please make sure there are no deadlinks and disambig links. I will re-read the article tomorrow just to make sure I did not miss anything and will conduct the sourcing part of this review. Also, the samples could do better using this template version. Best, Jonatalk to me 02:11, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
All done! :) I've fixed the one disambig link. Also, the ten dead links are (subscription required). Billboard's new layout does not support some chart positions for this album including the Reggae Albums chart, the Heatseekers chart, and the Tropical Albums chart, so I had to use these. This also occurs for charts for "Quiero Bailar". — DivaKnockouts 13:32, 26 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
Lead
  • The lead has a mixture of present and past-tense tones (e.g; "Featuring collaborations with" and "independently distributed by Real Music Group", etc). Please write everything in past-tense tone.
  • "talk of subjects" - not a fan of this, please revise
  • There's a mixture of "#" and "number" please choose one.
  • Still too many sentences have the word "album" needs a variety
Background
  • "The single, "In The Zone", a duet with Haitian singer Wyclef Jean, was a moderate success in the United States. The following single "Ritmo Latino" and its parent album, were overlooked by consumers and failed to chart." how is this associated with this article? why mention this information? does it have to do with the origins of this album? When was "In The Zone" released?
  • "However, it was critically acclaimed" - what was? You just mentioned two singles.
  • Is it "reggaeton" or "reggaetón"?
  • "turn him down." change to "turned him down."
  • The Roof" what's going on here?
Release
Composition
Commercial
  • Too many sentences start with "On the..." needs a variety
  • "While on the Billboard Latin Rhythm Songs chart, it peaked at #8." - all numbers lower than 10 needs to be written out per WP:ORDINAL.
  • "The song became the first Spanish-language track to reach #1 on on Miami's WPOW Rhythmic Top 40" - per above
  • "for the of January 17, 2004" - is missing a word
  • You already linked Miami, Florida in previous sections
  • You already linked Sony in previous sections
  • "my song is #1" - all numbers lower than 10 needs to be written out.
  • "I get surprised and look for explanations" needs to be changed to "I [got] surprised and look[ed] for explanations."
  • ", however they" - missing another comma
  • "By March 2004, the original version of the album had sold 10,000 units." - in the United States, Puerto Rico, Canada?
Critical

Please fix these before referencing checks are performed. Thank you, Jonatalk to me 20:09, 28 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

I believe all is done. — DivaKnockouts 21:43, 28 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
References

Nope all is   Fixed and is now a GA. Congrats and hope you can comment on my FAC if you get the chance. Best, Jonatalk to me 00:57, 29 April 2013 (UTC)Reply

Thanks AJona! Of course I will :D — DivaKnockouts 00:59, 29 April 2013 (UTC)Reply
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