Talk:California State Route 14/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by Dough4872 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Comments:
- In second sentence of lead, switch order of termini as route shoud be mentioned south to north
- Change comma to semicolon after "Sunset Boulevard"
- Add comma after US 395
- Rewrite "Prior to truncation in 1964, Route 14 was part of U.S. Route 6, then..." to "Route 14 was part of U.S. Route 6 prior to its truncation in 1964, when it was..."
- Hyphenate coast to coast
- Add "that is" after Southern Pacific Railroad
- First sentence in second paragraph of lead: change "this" to "the"
- In the sentence "While its southern part runs through the suburbanized and rural canyon areas that subject to heavy commuter traffic, its northern section is rural, following the line between the hot Mojave desert and the forming Sierra Nevada mountain range." add "are" after "that". Also, replace "its" with "the route's"
- First sentence in route description: add comma after Lancaster
- add "which is" after "Southern Pacific Railroad,"
- Done to here. Dave (talk) 00:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
- Add some additional references throughout the route description
- Added a few.
- "en route to" sounds awkward. Try rephrasing
- Is there any additional information that can be added to the route description?
- Expanded a bit. Included AADT data as well as more local information. Please advise if you'd like to see more.
- Remove comma after 1910s
- "with a longer more mild grades" sounds awkward
- Add "the" before Union Pacific Railroad
- First sentence in third paragraph of history: change "is" to "was"
- "included of the Theodore Roosevelt highway": remove "of"
- Add comma after "Red Rover Mine Road"
- In third sentence of Incidents section, change "when he" to "who"
- In next sentence, add comma after earthquakes
- Remove first sentence in Cancelled plans section as it is redundant
- In next sentence, replace "This" with "Route 14"
- In the Future plans section, capitalize "southern"
- This is the only one I'm hesitant about, are you sure Southern California is a proper noun? I've more heard it in an abstract sense.
I am placing the article on hold Dough4872 (talk) 18:44, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, I have started on your suggested improvements, and will advise when finished. Dave (talk) 00:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
- I have implemented all your suggestions, as well as re-order content in the lead to better match the flow of the article. Please advise if you still have concerns with the article.Dave (talk)
- The article looks good, I am passing it Dough4872 (talk) 14:51, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
- I have implemented all your suggestions, as well as re-order content in the lead to better match the flow of the article. Please advise if you still have concerns with the article.Dave (talk)
- Thanks for the review, I have started on your suggested improvements, and will advise when finished. Dave (talk) 00:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)