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Talk:Automatic (Red Velvet song)/GA1

< Talk:Automatic (Red Velvet song)
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Kyle Peake in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Latest comment: 3 years ago23 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:32, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( )
3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( )
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

Article looks fine on first glance, I will review shortly! --K. Peake 07:32, 4 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Infobox and lead

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  • Korean language is not sourced in the body as being used in the song; directly mention that lyrics were wrote for it in Korean   Done
  •   Comment: this was removed from the infobox but should not have been, as you can write out and source in the body that Korean songwriting was contributed. --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • The word studio should not be used in the infobox parameter of the same name   Done
  • Maybe change Contemporary R&B to R&B since the latter is backed up twice in the body and the former is often targeted to from the R&B genre, plus remove neo-soul due to it only being influences   Done
  • Remove wikilink on South Korean   Done
  • "their debut extended play" → "their debut extended play (EP),"   Done
  • "with Korean lyrics adaptation by" → "with Korean lyrics adapted by" plus this adaption being mentioned in the lead is another reason to write it out in the body, as everything here needs to be written and sourced there   Done
  • "the contemporary R&B track" → "the R&B and urban song" with the pipes   Done
  • The part in brackets is not sourced in the body plus it's not notable for the lead, nor should brackets be used here either way   Done
  • The music video's release should be mentioned after the commercial performance in the second para; will give further instructions in the area   Done
  • "It marks their" → "It marked their"   Done
  • After the above sentence, add one ending the first para about the song's lyrical meaning   Done
  • "has been regarded as one of the group's" → "has been regarded as one of Red Velvet's"   Done
  • Pipe music critics to Music journalism   Done
  • "while some felt know what to expect from Red Velvet as it is" → "Some were unsure of what to expect from Red Velvet, as it was" as a new sentence   Done
  • Pipe World Digital Songs to World Digital Song Sales   Done
  • "and number nine respectively." → "and number nine, respectively."   Done
  • Though this info will be followed by a sentence about the background of the video, add one about synopsis directly afterwards   Done
  • Add a final sentence mentioning the M Countdown performance and any other ones, if they are notable for the lead   Done

Background and release

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  • "for the second single" → "for their single" with the pipe   Done
  • The video being specifically uploaded on their YouTube channel is not sourced, plus mention the comeback in this sentence per [4]
  • "image teasers from member" → "image teasers of her, and members" per the source   Done
  • "they revealed the title" → "the label revealed the title"   Done
  • Remove pipe on Ice Cream Cake   Done
  • "which would be released" → "which was set to be released"   Done
  • You should only mention that a teaser video was released in the last sentence of this para instead, as music video info does not belong here   Done
  • "on March 14," → "on March 14, 2015,"   Done
  • "its official digital release along with the extended play" → "the song being released digitally along with the EP" with the pipe   Done

Composition

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  • Retitle to Writing and composition   Done
  • Add info about the instrumentation displayed via the audio sample to its text (you don't need sources directly saying where in the song this stuff is when it's a sample)
  •   Not done --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  •   Comment: I haven't encountered this type of comment before. I'm having a hard time processing on what should I do about the instrumentation. Should I like get the information from the Writing and composition section or get another source for that (though you stated that I don't need sources directly saying where in the song this stuff is when it's a sample) ReVeluv02 (talk) 11:00, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "several songs for them." → "several songs for Red Velvet."   Done
  • "in a songwriting camp on" → "at a songwriting camp in"   Done
  • Mention that Copenhagen is in Denmark   Done
  • "and was later invited to take part on" → "and Taft was later invited to take part in"   Done
  • Mention that Seoul is in South Korea   Done
  • "writing "Automatic". She revealed" → "writing "Automatic"; she revealed" to avoid overly short sentences   Done
  • "and quite effortlessly" and that" → "and quite effortlessly", and that"   Done
  • "On a podcast, Klein revealed that what seems" → "During a podcast, Klein revealed that what seemed"   Done
  • Add release year of "Got 'til It's Gone" in brackets   Done
  • "and agreed to do make a song out of it." → "and agreed to do so."   Done
  • "he said that he" → "Klein said that he"   Done
  • Wikilink tempo on first mention instead   Done
  • "was described as an" → "was characterized as an"   Done
  • Pipe R&B to Contemporary R&B since this article describes the version of the genre being alluded to   Done
  • "jam" which represents" → "jam", which represents"   Done
  • "Velvet" should be surrounded by speech marks   Done
  • "cited it as" → "cited the track as"   Done
  • Remove pipe on contemporary 90s R&B   Done
  • The neo-soul influence is not sourced
  • Wikilink synthesizers   Done
  • The key and tempo sentence should be the one before synths/chords   Done
  • "It was composed in the key of F minor with" → "It is composed in the key of F minor, with"   Done
  • "unraveling the feelings of" → "unraveling the feeling of"   Done

Critical reception

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  • Merge with the below section, retitling to Reception   Done
  • "Following its initial release," → "Following its release,"   Done
  • "from critics and have become one" → "from music critics and become one" with the pipe, but the signature part is not backed up the reviews (try and add some that do or remove it)   Done
  • "Jeff Benjamin of Billboard magazine called the song" → "Benjamin called the song"   Done
  • Remove wikilink on Janet Jackson   Done
  • "Kim Do-hyun of IZM highlighted the song" → "Kim highlighted the song" but the critics' pick and R&B quote are not sourced   Done
  • "for both the group and its home label." → "for both Red Velvet and SM Entertainment."   Done
  • "of Ten Asia praised Red Velvet's voices" → "from Ten Asia praised Red Velvet's tone" per the source   Done
  • Hyo-Sun Seong is used instead of Yoo Je-sang in the source, also the quote is not sourced
  • The part about MRJ calling the song disappointing and creating low expectations is not sourced, though the above reviewer says something similar: "After listening to the double title tracks of this album, “Ice Cream Cake” and “Automatic,” my doubts about the next activity", but quotes are only for parts that text directly says so remove quote marks and word to accurately echo this
  •   Comment: MRJ mentioned that "내게는 즐거운 서프라이즈였다. 'Automatic'을 선택한 것에는 다소 실망했고 'Be Natural'에서는 전면적으로 크게 실망했었기에, 레드벨벳에게서 이번에 무엇을 기대해야 좋을지 알 수 없었다. 그러나 'Ice Cream Cake'는 매우 설득력 있었고, 케이팝과 팝의 경계를 밀고 나아가는 점이 훌륭했다." which translates to "It was a pleasant surprise for me. I was a little disappointed in choosing 'Automatic' and totally disappointed in 'Be Natural', so I didn't know what to expect from Red Velvet this time. However, 'Ice Cream Cake' was very convincing, and it was great that it pushed the boundaries between K-pop and pop." He compared the title tracks "Automatic" and "Ice Cream Cake". ReVeluv02 (talk) 10:02, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "whether the group would have" → "whether the group can have"   Done
  • "ranked it 22nd on" → "ranked "Automatic" 22nd on"   Done
  • "and labeled it for standing as one of their" → "and the staff highlighted it for being one of their"   Done

Commercial performance

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  • Make this the third para of the above section   Done
  • "of March, "Automatic" debuted and peaked 32" → "of March 2015, "Automatic" debuted and peaked at number 32"   Done
  • Pipe Gaon Download Chart to Gaon Music Chart rather than that page's sub-section   Done
  • "of 71,844 digital units as of" → "of 71,844 digital units in South Korea, as of"   Done
  • "at number 9 on Billboard's World Digital Song Sales chart, making it their" → "at number nine on the US Billboard World Digital Song Sales chart, making it Red Velvet's" per MOS:NUM   Done
  • "It was later surpassed by their 2017" → "The ranking of the group's lowest peak was later surpassed by their 2017"   Done
  • The word chart should not be capitalised in this sentence   Done

Music video

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Background

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  • "was directed with a symmetrical narrative that emphasized" → "is directed with a symmetrical narrative that emphasizes" on the img text   Done
  • "uploaded on the official SM Town channel," → "uploaded on both SM Town's YouTube channel and Red Velvet's website." removing the EP release info, as this is not sourced and irrelevant anyway   Done
  • "by Shin Hee-won, who would later direct again for Red Velvet's singles" → "by Shin Hee-won, standing as the first visual he worked on for SM, and he later directed the music videos for Red Velvet's singles"   Done
  • Should K-Popped be italicised?   Done
  • "Seulgi revealed that" → "group member Seulgi revealed that" with the pipe   Done
  • "was syncing lips with the song as the song" → "was the hardness of syncing lips with "Automatic", as the song" with the pipe   Done

Synopsis and reception

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  • The lyrics are "I want to continue to stay in your space together" per the source   Done
  • "that it does not escape from the memory and continues to stay in it, the music video" → "that it stays in the memory without departing it, the video"   Done
  • "With that, it has provided a differentiated visual beauty" → "Through the narrative, a differentiated visual beauty is provided"   Done
  • "It featured all five members in a softer and" → "All five members are shown in a softer and" but soft and mature parts are unsourced   Done
  • "It became the sixth-most" → "The visual became the sixth-most"   Done
  • Mention that it was the fourth-most viewed in the United States as well as this   Done

Live performances

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  • Mention that they wore black and white outfits for the M Countdown performance   Done
  • "that emphasizes fascination and" → "that emphasized fascination and"   Done
  • "includes "detailed expressions" such as" → "included "detailed expressions", such as"   Done
  • "It also includes movement" → "It also featured the movement"   Done
  • "feet like the lyrics" → "feet to the lyrics"   Done
  • "during the first promotion week on" → "during the first promotion week on both"   Done

Credits and personnel

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  • Looks good, but the Korean songwriting part still needs to be written out in comp   Done

Charts

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  • Good

Release history

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  • Good

References

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  • Copyvio score looks superb at 18.0%!!!
  • Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool –   Done except ref 48 (YouTube video)
  • Pipe Sports Chosun to The Chosun Ilbo on ref 13   Done
  • Fix MOS:CAPS issues with refs 19 and 21   Done
  • WP:OVERLINK of Billboard on ref 30   Done
  • Remove wikilink on The Chosun Ilbo for ref 35   Done
  • Pipe Sports Hankook to Hankook Ilbo on ref 39   Done
  • Pipe Sports Dong-A to The Dong-a Ilbo on ref 44   Done
  • Wikilink SM Entertainment on ref 50   Done

Final comments and verdict

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  • ReVeluv02 I have pointed out above where you still have to make changes to the sections you've already covered and done some copy editing in areas where issues existed that weren't prominent during the review, while I await your response for the remainder. --K. Peake 07:54, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Kyle Peake Thank you so much Kyle for taking so much of your time and effort on doing this review. :) I may have missed a lot and I did left some comments regarding my concern on certain parts of the review. ReVeluv02 (talk) 12:18, 7 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
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