Talk:Ancient Macedonians/GA1

Latest comment: 7 years ago by SilentResident in topic Prose Suggestions

GA Review

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Reviewer: Iazyges (talk · contribs) 02:24, 10 May 2017 (UTC)Reply

Criteria

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GA Criteria

GA Criteria:

  • 1
    1.a  Y
    1.b  Y
  • 2
    2.a  Y
    2.b  Y
    2.c  Y
    2.d  Y
  • 3
    3.a  Y
    3.b  Y
  • 4
    4.a  Y
  • 5
    5.a  Y
  • 6
    6.a  Y
    6.b  Y
  • No Copyvio  Y
  • No DAB links  N
Macedonian (disambiguation) redirects to Macedonian.
Magnes is a SIA page.
  • No Dead links  N
The Worthington, Ian (2008). Philip II of Macedonia. New Haven, Connecticut: Yale University Press. ISBN 0-300-12079-6. source's link is dead
The "lecture 24" link in Twilight of the Polis and the rise of Macedon (Philip, Demosthenes and the Fall of the Polis). Yale University Courses, Lecture 24. (Introduction to Ancient Greek History) is dead.
@Iazyges: I have fixed the DAB link for Macedonian and removed the dead link "lecture 24", although there is no link in the article for "Magnes", yet there is one for "Magnes (mythology)". Your assertion that Worthington 2008 is a dead link is absolutely false. It works. Try it again. It brings you to Google Books and the edition that was used. Pericles of AthensTalk 18:33, 20 May 2017 (UTC)Reply

Prose Suggestions

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Origins

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  • that were discontinued" I'd recommend "that had ceased"
  • It has been hypothesized that the cause of Macedonian expansion was demographic pressure. Because pastoralism and highland living could not support a very concentrated settlement density, pastoralist tribes often searched for more arable lowlands suitable for agriculture." You may wish to merge these sentences together, to improve flow.

Culture

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  • "This did not necessarily symbolize a sharing of identity or political allegiance between these regions." Perhaps "This did not necessarily symbolize a shared cultural identity, or any political allegiance between these regions"
  • "favored the development of a native aristocracy with a wealth, which at times surpassed the classical Greek poleis." May wish to restructure sentence, perhaps "favored the developement of a native aristocracy, with a wealth that at times surpassed the classical Greek poleis."
  • " the Macedonians generally possessed use of slaves" perhaps "the Macedonians generally possessed slaves" or "the Macedonians generally used slaves".
  • "One viewpoint sees it as an autocracy, whereby the king held absolute power. Any other position of authority, including the army," this comes one paragraph after an entire paragraph about how he is an autocrat. I would reccomend rewording one of them, and perhaps switching the two.
@Iazyges: hi! Thanks for reviewing the article! I have amended the article per each of your suggestions. I hope you find the changes to be suitable enough to give this article a passing grade. Cheers! --Pericles of AthensTalk 18:54, 20 May 2017 (UTC)Reply
Congrats. :-) --SILENTRESIDENT 23:59, 3 June 2017 (UTC)Reply