Talk:Éowyn/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: BennyOnTheLoose (talk · contribs) 13:20, 30 April 2020 (UTC)

Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 13:22, 30 April 2020 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

   Reviewed both matches showing over 2% from Earwig's Copyvio tool, no issues.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   Fair use rationales provided.

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Comments

I'm happy to discuss, or be challenged on, any of my comments. I've looked at sources where possible but don't claim close familiarity with them so some of my points are as questions rather than suggested or required changes.

Many thanks.

• Lead: Consider linking Tolkien in the opening sentence. (If this wouldn't take it into MOS:SEAOFBLUE territory.) A link is already close by, in the infobox.

Done.

• Lead: Consider linking noblewoman in the opening sentence. I am guessing that this is less widely understood than character which is linked.

Done.

• Lead: "the prophecy that, like Macbeth, he would not be killed by a man" - consider rewording unless Macbeth is referred to in LOTR.

Done.

• Lead: consider linking David Day here or later.

Done.

• Literature: "Éowyn falls in love with Aragorn .." - I believe this to be right but I'm not sure it is spelled out in the chapter "The Grey Company" - even though "on Aragorn most of all her eyes rested" - and her eyes shine and are on fire at later points. Happy to be directed to the verification for this, and the verification for Aragorn's betrothal to Arwen being the reason for his not reciprocating.

Refs added.

• Literature: "from Old English dern meaning "secret, concealed" - again, I believe this is right, but I cant see it's supported by the source as I don't have access. If not, other sources are available by the look of it.

Clark Hall is authoritative on Old English and the citation is correct.

• Literature: maybe move the phrase "on her horse Windfola" to earlier in the sentence - to avoid a possible reading that Merry has been ordered to remain behind on Windfola.

Done.

• Literature: Consider rewording "The Witch-King threatens to" with something like "The Witch King responds that "the Nazgûl ... will bear thee away" etc. to avoid using the [her]s in the quote. (It might be a bit lengthy to start from "Come not between the the Nazgûl and his prey ..." but consider that as an option too.)

Done.

• Literature: Consider using a different word from "it" in " but she kills it," to make it clear at this point it is the steed not the Nazgûl that is killed.

Rearranged.

• Literature: "and is believed dead until Prince Imrahil realizes she still lives" is in Chapter 6, consider an additional citation unless also in Ch.8.

Done.

• Literature: "from the effects of having struck the Nazgûl" - is this a separate effect, or from her injury/injuries? If the latter, consider rewording. I see a mention of her sword breaking when striking the killing blow but not an explicit mention of resultant harm to her.

A separate effect, the "Black Breath", as explained in "The Houses of Healing".

• Concept and Creation: I've assumed good faith with use of the source The Treason of Isengard.

Noted.

• Concept and Creation: The Treason of Isengard Ch 26. is used as a source twice in the first paragraph - one citation here may be enough.

Done.

• Concept and Creation: https://folk.uib.no/hnohf/mannish.htm has the appearance of a personal site but appears to be produced by a reputable scholar.

Yes, I noted so in the citation. Ardalambion is a scholarly source.

• Interpretations: "hanging up her shield" - Griffin is another source I've assumed good faith for, and I'm not sure if hanging up of the shield literally happens in LOTR, or whether a better phrase would be something along the lines "retired from combat" (Sorry, I couldn't think of a better phrase at the moment.)

Reworded.

• Interpretations: The section seems fine, but a quick look through Google Books suggests there might be further material that could be covered. Have other sources been considered?

I did. Have found some more, on the Pelennor Fields scene, complete with a 19th century painting and CC-by-SA license.

• Portrayal in adaptations: https://www.behindthevoiceactors.com/ does have editorial oversight by the look of it. I tried looking for another source regarding Bellflower but the best I found was this which is snippet view. Same applies for Jenkins' role in the BBC version (p.71). (I believe BBC genome is editable by anyone so that's not a better source.) Neither of the currently used sources for these actresses appear to be listed as dodgy.

Done. It's amazingly difficult to cite even such non-controversial facts about portrayals. Behind The Voice Actors is one of the few reputable sources.

• Portrayal in adaptations: the "a 'script doctor' was sent ... to bring Jackson's direction into line" - Sent by who, and was it just on this point? Bring into line with what exactly? I think the point does come across, but might benefit from minor reworking along the lines ".. to bring Jackson's version of the story into line with the Studio's concept that Aragorn needed a single love-interest" (Not exactly those words, but hopefully you can see something of what I mean.)

Adjusted.

• I amended the redirect page Sarah Kozloff to point to the Personal life section of Lloyd M. Kozloff - I was a bit confused about why I got a microbiologist's page.

Thanks!

Chiswick Chap - my initial comments are above - nothing major to highlight. I've done a quick copyvio review and found no concerns, but will do another after any amendments. Thanks for your work on the article. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 17:49, 30 April 2020 (UTC)

Chiswick Chap Thanks for responding to all the review comments. I'm now happy to pass this for GA. Well done. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:54, 2 May 2020 (UTC)