Are Ye Right There Michael

Are Ye Right There Michael is a song by the 19th-century and early 20th-century Irish composer and musician Percy French, parodying the state of the West Clare Railway system in rural County Clare. It was inspired by an actual train journey in 1896. Because of a slow train and the decision of the driver to stop for no apparent reason, French, though having left Sligo in the early morning, arrived so late for an 8pm recital that the audience had left. The ballad caused considerable embarrassment for the railway company, which was mocked in music halls throughout Ireland and Britain because of the song. It led to an unsuccessful libel action against French.

It is said that when French arrived late for the libel hearing, the judge chided him on his lateness. French reportedly responded "Your honour, I travelled by the West Clare Railway", resulting in the case being thrown out.

Lyrics

Are Ye Right There Michael

by Percy French (1902)

You may talk of Columbus's sailing

Across the Atlantical Sea

But he never tried to go railing

From Ennis as far as Kilkee

You run for the train in the morning

The excursion train starting at eight

You're there when the clock gives the warnin'

And there for an hour you'll wait

And as you're waiting in the train

You'll hear the guard sing this refrain:

Are ye right there, Michael, are ye right?

Do you think that we'll be there before the night?

Ye've been so long in startin'

That ye couldn't say for certain

Still ye might now, Michael

So ye might!

They find out where the engine's been hiding

And it drags you to sweet Corofin

Says the guard: "Back her down on the siding

There's a goods from Kilrush coming in."

Perhaps it comes in two hours

Perhaps it breaks down on the way

"If it does," says the guard, "by the powers

We're here for the rest of the day!"

And while you sit and curse your luck

The train backs down into a truck.

Are ye right there, Michael, are ye right?

Have ye got the parcel there for Mrs White?

Ye haven't, oh begorra

Say it's comin' down tomorra

And well it might now, Michael

So it might

At Lahinch the sea shines like a jewel

With joy you are ready to shout

When the stoker cries out: "There's no fuel

And the fire's tee-totally out!

But hand up that bit of a log there

I'll soon have ye out of the fix

There's a fine clamp of turf in the bog there

And the rest go a-gatherin' sticks."

And while you're breakin' bits of trees

You hear some wise remarks like these:

"Are ye right there, Michael? Are ye right?

Do ye think that you can get the fire to light?

Oh, an hour you'll require

For the turf it might be drier

Well it might now, Michael

So it might."

A popular sung version by Brendan O'Dowda adds the following lyrics which may or may not have been part of the original:

Kilkee! Oh you never get near it!

You're in luck if the train brings you back

For the permanent way is so queer

It spends most of its time off the track.

Uphill the old engine is climbin'

While the passengers push with a will

You're in luck when you reach Ennistymon

For all the way home is downhill.

And as you're wobblin' through the dark

you hear the guard make this remark:

"Are you right there, Michael, are ye right?

Do you think that you'll be home before it's light?"

"Tis all dependin' whether

The old engine holds together—

And it might now, Michael, so it might! (so it might),

And it might, now, Michael, so it might."