Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Angata

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

No consensus to promote at this time - CPA-5 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 17:20, 28 February 2020 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

Angata

Instructions for nominators and reviewers

Nominator(s): KAVEBEAR (talk)

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because Angata was a fierce Rapa Nui leader who led her people in 1914 revolt against the Scottish owned Chilean Williamson-Balfour Company on Easter Island. Love to recognize this forgotten indigenous leader of an often forgotten people. KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:54, 1 January 2020 (UTC)[reply]

±====Oppose from Harrias====

In general the prose doesn't flow very well, instead giving the impression of a series of bullet point statements that just happen to be laid out in paragraphs. I would suggest going through the whole thing and just working the prose together a little better.
One consequence of this is that reading the article it often feels like we are being presented with a string of facts, but often without much context. For example, was there a particular reason they travelled to Mangareva in 1871?
In contrast, other parts seem to go into excessive detail on things not directly related to Angata, such as the final paragraph of the Return to Easter Island section.

Some specifics:

Prior to the missionaries visiting, what religion was practised?
"..despite Angata and Pakomio claiming.." Should be "Pakomīo".
"It has been argued that he was elected mainly because of his good looks, but a significant part of his success was also due Angata's strong influence with the people." You need to define who "he" is at the start of this sentence, as the last "he" mentioned was Atamu Tekena.
"In 1914, Angata had a prophetic vision that Merlet was dead." All we can say is that she claimed to have a prophetic vision.
"This inspired her to lead an unsuccessful rebellion against the company.." Calling it unsuccessful before giving the details seems the wrong way around.
"..arrested four of the ringleaders.." Who? Was Angata one of them?
"None of the natives were punished, and three of the imprisoned leaders were released but her son-in-law Daniera was deported from the island." Although I figure that it is safe to assume that it is Angata, "her" is undefined here.
The fourth paragraph of 1914 rebellion, "Despite these changes..." doesn't appear to have anything to do with Angata.

In my opinion, this article is a fair way short of the A-class criteria as it stands. I have highlighted a few of the specific issues, but there are more besides, and significant work needs to be made on the prose. Harrias ^talk 13:32, 6 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hey KAVEBEAR can you please reply to these comments? Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 12:18, 27 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Please withdraw. Not much time to deal with this review. KAVEBEAR (talk) 15:36, 28 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done as requested. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 17:03, 28 February 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.