This user is an alternative account of someone with tens of thousands of edits, and they certify that it will not be used for sockpuppetry.
This user is one of the 48,309,214 most active English Wikipedians of all time.




A dangerous specimen, preparing his bamboo weapon

From Eats, Shoots & Leaves:

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.

'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

'Well, I'm a panda', he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'

The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves.'