Talk:Okowa

Draft review: November 2018

Note: This article has been created as a part of English Wikipedia Training Program 2018 by VVIT WikiConnect. For more details, please visit: m:VVIT WikiConnect/Activities/en WP Trg Program/2018.

• Lead and infobox;
  • "Okowa おこわ (強飯) (okowa)"; the main word and the word in the braces are one at the same, please avoid duplication.
  • The word Okawa in Japanese can mean Sekihan or Kowameshi; avoid ambiguity; what do you intend by saying "can mean"? Does it have any other implications, if yes, it is better to clarify them using a footnote (use {{efn}} for footnotes)
  • Okawa is also referred to boiled glutinous rice; what is the first references? I mean since "also" has been used, there should be another reference mentioned before this, but I don't see any (please don't get confused reference to a citation)
  • azuki; proper noun, initial capitals required
  • dishes made by blending different rice varieties is also known as Okowa; what dishes? This sentence is confusing; the dish itself has rice as a major ingredient and it has already been mentioned about different varieties of rice being used; please clarify on this. Also check the sentence construction; "dishes"-plural, "is"-singular.
  • Meant to be eaten at room temperature; what is meant to be eaten?
  • Add an infobox; probably {{Infobox food}}
• Please reorder the sections; History, variation, and then preparation; It would be great if you can add some lines on "Etymology"
• The preparation section doesn't require two sub-sections, please club and connect the flow.
• The article needs sigificant improvement in terms of language, format and references. Some quick suggestions;
  • Link the relevant Wikipedia articles; for example, sesame oil, ginger etc.
  • The sentence in section 1.1 doesn't have a full stop.
  • Citations must be given right after the punctuation; no spaces should be present; example, ref no. 2
  • Okowa today refers to red rice, sekihan -> Okowa today refers to red rice and sekihan
  • Avoid redundancy, "in the meat add-on, you can mix char siu pork, roasted duck or diced sausage", mention of "pork" "duck" make it clear that they're meat, mention of "meat add-on" is redundant.
  • you can mix; Wikipedia is not a cookbook, and please avoid instructing the readers. The sentence can be better said "char siu pork, roasted duck and diced sausages are common additions"

@Wikilover90: That is the quick first review of your draft. I'll do a detailed review line by line including the sources once these comments are addressed. Thanks for the contributions. KCVelaga (talk) 11:32, 9 November 2018 (UTC)