Talk:Baron Corbin/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 17:04, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
Alright I will be picking up the review of this one - both for the Wiki Cup and the GA cup as well. I will be making my review comments over the next couple of days. Side note - yes I work a lot on pro wrestling articles but hardly never on WWE related articles and I don't remember any interactions with the nominator so there should be no conflict of interest. And my intent is to ensure it's a Good Article, not a Good Pro Wrestling Article.
Side note, I would love some input on a Featured List candidate (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) and a Featured Article candidate (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship). I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated. MPJ-US 17:04, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
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editI like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.
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Well Written
edit- Lead
- "dominant wrestler who squashed jobbers" I think "squashed jobbers" is too wrestling Lingoish since it can be easily reworded. And is that really his character?
- Is the Bull/Rhyno/Joe feud then team with Rhyno really important enough for the lead?
- I think the lead is misleading in regards to his NFL career - he never saw a single down of play in any NFL game but the lead makes it seem like he did.
- Arizona Cardinals
- "Pestock was noted for throwing uppercuts in a team scuffle in training camp." - that is an odd phrasing, like it was a good thing almost?
- Boxing career
- No details at all on his first two golden gloves wins? this section has very little detail and could use something to actually make it deserve it's own section.
- Professional wrestling career
- I am sorry but this is a pet peeve of mine - "professional wrestling career" > "WWE" > "NXT (2012 - present)" - three levels of headlines before there are any details?
- "Pestock signed with WWE's developmental system WWE NXT" - No he did not, he signed with WWE and was put in their developmental system.
- "in a losing effort" - how about you simplifying it to just "losing"?
- "a repackaged Corbin" I think it's be good to elaborate on what this "repackaging" consisted of.
- "could one-up the other in having" - should be "by having"
- "highly anticipated" is a judgement call, is there a source that called it highly anticipate? I know I did not anticipate it and I watched the TakeOver show.
- "ending Corbin's undefeated streak." - he was not undefeated, perhaps after his return but that's different. Stating it like that is too "in universe" as it's buying into the storyline.
- "next week's NXT" - should be "next week's NXT show" since NXT is also the brand and thus you need to specify.
- "brawled with him, starting their feud." I thought it started in May 6 when Rhyno called him out?
- "take place in the Dusty Rhodes" should be "take part in"
- A lot of this seems week-to-week stuff, like the Rhyno and Samoa Joe has no depth to it or details really. I know the challenge is that Corbin has not done much of note. And the part that he did do that was of note - like being part of the "Proving Ground" show is not covered and it just stopped in December 2015 and thus not maintained.
Sources/verifiable
edit- I think you can remove reference 4 - the Online World of Wrestling, it is not a reliable source and the name is already covered by a different source.
- Reference 5 needs more details around publisher etc. what is teamkong?
- Some sources use date format "January 1, 2012" and others have "2012-01-01" - it does not matter which one you choose but be consistent.
- Is kffl.com a reliable source for football information? the reference needs more information too
- Some sources list it as "PWTorch", others as "pwtorch.com"? And technically the publisher is "Pro Wrestling Torch" spelled out.
- wrestlinginc.com is not considered a reliable source by project pro wrestling according to Wikipedia:WikiProject Professional wrestling/Sources, it is mainly reporting on results so there should be plenty of options from the sites the PW project lists.
- Reference 44 needs more details than just the article title.
- Reference 45 needs more details than just the article title.
- Reference 46 needs more details than just the article title.
- Reference 47 needs more details than just the article title.
- Reference 50 needs more details than just the article title.
- Reference 13 is dead even if the tool does not come up as such
Broad in coverage
edit- Well not really - one tiny blurb about his father is the only non-football or non-wrestling information there is. There's got to be something else out there.
Neutral
edit- The pro wrestling sectiion is written 100% like it is a legitiate competitive sports. I am not saying hit us over the head with "it's fake" but it should acknowledge the nature of pro wrestling.
Stable
edit- I don't see any edit warring as such. just the usual kind of fan/mark stuff that happens to most WWE articles and in this case it's not as bad. So I think it's stable enough - at least until he gets called up, then all bets are off.
Illustrated / Images
edit- It's got a picture and it has the appropriate tags etc.
- @Ringerfan23: - My review is completed, there are things to address so I am putting this on hold for at least 7 days to allow for improvements to be made. let me know if you have any questions or when you believe you've addressed everything. MPJ-US 21:52, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
- @Ringerfan23: - it has been seven days and I have not seen much activity in regards to addressing my concerns. I am going to fail the article. Feel free to address my comments and then reapply for GA. MPJ-US 14:32, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
Nicknames
editThe "Big Breakfast" nickname is a product of some fans on Twitter making jokes, and they've been adding sources that are just their own websites/articles. Not an official nickname. --Molotovnight (talk) 17:44, 20 April 2016 (UTC)
It's just a joke to them. Sources here https://twitter.com/search?q=%22big%20breakfast%22%20from%3Atomblargh&src=typd and here https://twitter.com/TomBlargh/status/726449455155822592 so please, do the right thing and take this dumb Twitter joke off of the nickname list. Baron Corbin doesn't deserve to be made a mockery of. --Molotovnight (talk) 16:57, 30 April 2016 (UTC)